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Well,
Codeproject just recently lost a long-time member named Lopitar because of a distasteful joke someone told right here in the Lounge about death. Lopitar had just recently lost a loved-one to that same scenario.
Best Wishes,
-David Delaune
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That's the thing, you have to know someone to have an idea about what their limits are.
One of my best friends is gay, Best friend as in our families usually spending the vacation together.
He loves a good juicy joke about his preferences. That doesn't mean I'm telling those jokes to anyone.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Never stop dreaming - Freddie Kruger
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Yeah,
I understand that completely.
I guess that I value having members like Lopitar around more than pointless jokes. These jokes can be a minefield... it is very easy to offend people.
I've been a member here on codeproject since the very beginning and I just hate to see long time members leave. I really miss the old days when the Lounge was on fire.
I am all about customer retention[^]. I want them to come and stay on the site.
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I can understand your point but, being someone that have lost some people too, I say that one can get bad tempered because a day you are more vulnerable than other day, but live is hard and if you can't get over what someone says in a forum... take a rest, get offline for a while, but such an emo-quit... gets less understanding from me than from you.
Randor wrote: I guess that I value having members like Lopitar around more than pointless jokes.
I don't like some jokes / threads too... but I think the easiest part is "plain ignore" them.
Freedom of speech can sometimes be a b1tch, but as long as it stays in the "green area" bad taste is not a crime.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Yeah,
I think you are referring to Lopitar and his reaction to the distasteful joke? My understanding is that he had a close family member die and a while later a regular member here in the forum made a joke about that same deadly scenario and several members were laughing about it.
I'm only discussing this topic because I believe some of the distasteful jokes may be having a negative impact on the website. For the record... I absolutely enjoy the thoughts of the day by @OriginalGriff and I sometimes come to codeproject.com exclusively to solve the daily CCC.
Best Wishes,
-David Delaune
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Randor wrote: I think you are referring to Lopitar and his reaction to the distasteful joke? My understanding is that he had a close family member die and a while later a regular member here in the forum made a joke about that same deadly scenario and several members were laughing about it.
And I still stand my point. That's sad, it would be understandable that he get mad, but still a bit overreacted in my opinion.
I have had some covid infected in my family, one school mate died from it, my mother passed away some months ago... I have had a couple of situations in the same wave, people joking and laughing on a topic that made me sad / mad / pissed me off... but hey, it is a free internet.
As I said, speech freedom can be a b1tch, but bad taste is not a crime.
If I had started to argue with the people things would have get emotional and ended probably in one or maybe several bans. So... like smoking, the best thing is... not starting.
Some hours later the thread was gone from the first page, problem solved.
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: I have had some covid infected in my family, one school mate died from it, my mother passed away some months ago...
I am sorry to hear that. I hope that you are doing well.
Nelek wrote: Some hours later the thread was gone from the first page, problem solved.
There is an emotional impact to making fun of someone who has just lost a relative. I would expect more from the software engineering community. I certainly hope that artificial intelligence and/or learning algorithms aren't being modeled from psychopaths. That could build a terrible future.
First, Do No Harm[^]
Best Wishes,
-David Delaune
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Randor wrote: I am sorry to hear that. I hope that you are doing well.
Thanks, I would like to think yes. Life continues and I have an own family to take care of. Feeling you are needed helps a lot.
Randor wrote: I would expect more from the software engineering community.
I can't say in the case of lopatir, but software engineers are not psychics. So they can't know about it when the thread starts.
And we all react different depending on the day, but if you go blaming because of the jokes, the answer is going to be a defensive / aggressive one. If you just say "Hey, look, I would ask you to stop because..." calm and friendly, then people will probably stop. But one thing is an universal true and that is "There are idiots and morons everywhere" so yes, the risk is still there that if you say something no matter how, an idiot then starts trolling you.
But I am then confident that the community would react and stop it.
Anyways, the most effective way is not to get personally involved, stop reading in the moment you recognise the direction is taking and totally ignore it.
And... being a bit nitpicky... are you sure it was Lopitar? I would say the nick was Lopatir  
EDIT: And please, don't understand me wrong. I agree with you in most of what you say. I just see a bigger part of self-responsibility in how someone reacts
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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There was a time here in the UK when those were the staple of all comedians. I recall Bernard Manning particularly (probably a name not known outside the UK), who would make fun of people in the audience, particularly anyone of Asian origin.
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Yeah,
Some years ago I would regularly attend a comedy club in Bellevue, WA to watch the stand-up. Racial jokes are apparently still a big thing in the comedy scene.
Best Wishes,
-David Delaune
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My American wife laughs often and usually has a great sense of humour - she married me! However, sometimes I will say something which would have my fellow Brits rolling on the floor laughing (in reality, just smiling a bit and perhaps nodding) and she will look at me like I had just regurgitated an owl (still alive). She is from "The South" and their culture is somewhat weird in a way I cannot find the words to describe!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I learned some time ago that a lot of things just don't translate. In school, especially grad school, most of my friends were Chinese (mainly Taiwan, and one from Hong Kong). Those who've live in the US many years understood certain expression: calling someone and a**hole or jackass made sense to them but as an insult, it turns out its something of a western idiom. We called our professor/group leader an Old Phart. It made no sense to them. As it turns out, in the Chinese language you cannot just put an adjective in front of an noun and expect it to make sense. If I recall correctly, the language construct is such that those types of things can have surprisingly different meanings than their components, and thus, the assume that they just don't understand the meaning.Chris Maunder wrote: I'd get away with talking about sex, religion and politics better than I would cracking a joke in some cases.
cheers
Well - just tell them your religion is to have sex with politicians.
Problem solved.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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W∴ Balboos, GHB wrote: your religion is to have sex with politicians.
Why would anyone want to produce more politicians?
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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When I studied at the Uni I lived i a student home that housed a load of Erasmus students. I learned to appreciate the differences between our cultures a lot during that time.
I also learned that subtleties can have very different meanings for different people, so I also learned to be very straight forward and even blunt.
During those times we did a lot of cooking for each other, and one of the things we noted and discussed a lot was how different the time keeping is in different countries.
If I told people the dinner starts at eight, Swedes would be there a few minute before, because it's rude being late.
Germans would come spot on the time, for them it's bad style to not be on time. Could often see Germans outside the door waiting for the correct time. 
Dutch and English people were usually up to fifteen minutes late. They thought it was bad to come to early, one must always allow the host enough time to be ready.
For the French and Italians that would be at least half an hour. (In both cases depending a lot on geographical north or south)
And the Spaniards, well they would usually arrive in time for the dessert.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Never stop dreaming - Freddie Kruger
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The Spaniards probably thought that dinner at 8pm, instead of at least 10pm, was rude. 
EDIT: I would say that most Canadians are in the 15 minutes late group, for the same reason.
When I lived in California, a friend sometimes hosted parties. He might have 12 acceptances, of which 4 to 6 would show up. The others, nothing. No email, no phone call. Lots of rude folks out there.
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Spot on!
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Never stop dreaming - Freddie Kruger
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I could never stand it when people required that I respond to an invitation.
Never. That's just plain rude of them.
Write the bloody thing and give a means to accept.
If you no hear from me, I no accept. Simple.
What? I have to go out of my way because I've received an unwanted invitation?
(quoting from Sexy Beast)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO
If this is a problem for them, I suppose soon enough they'll leave me alone.
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I think he's referring to the people that accepted and still didn't come.
Wrong is evil and must be defeated. - Jeff Ello
Never stop dreaming - Freddie Kruger
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:goes-back-to-look:
face-palm.
I wouldn't have injected it here if I was better at reading yesterday. The sentiment remains.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote:
And the Spaniards, well they would usually arrive in time for the dessert.
Nope... we would appear just on time to start cooking the dinner (again) to be able to eat just in time at 22:00 or 22:30 (more or less) 
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Chris Maunder wrote: I'd get away with talking about sex, religion and politics
Not in the Lounge you wouldn't. Please familiarize yourself with the Lounge rules.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Yeah the drop bear thing does not work any more - there are so few yanks over here it has no audience.
I used to jokingly call myself a terrorist (instead of tourist) when travelling and poking my nose in everywhere, I stopped after 911, it was no longer amusing.
The flavour of humour and sarcasm I like never did go over well in Singapore.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity -
RAH
I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
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My problem is that my sense of humor is mostly word play and its lowest form the pun. I even have to be careful with coworkers from the U.K.
It's amazing how you can read a blank look between the lines of an email.
Software Zen: delete this;
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And here I am, unable to understand jokes from another place in my own country.
Am from Southern part of India, and I speak a language called Kannada. When someone from another region of India tells a joke, can only partially appreciate the humour part, while everything in my language is highly intelligible. (Let me tell you that India has more than 20 official languages, and is highly multi-cultural).
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