|
Come in late after he goes home and fill his cube with packing peanuts.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
|
|
|
|
|
Muahaha. I don't know how to call it in english... But... What about wrap all his stuff with alluminium paper? hahahaah
|
|
|
|
|
Apart of killing him, breaking him badly or speaking to HR or your bosses... have you considered speaking with him calmly and explaining your case? who knows, it is possible that he is happy with the job and that feel well with teammates and is not noticing that is being heavier than a ton of rocks...
If that is not working, then the next normal and natural step will be to kill him by giving him a big amount of rat poison. Oh, and when he will be panting in front of you, you could sing and tap the table like drums... (that was a joke of course...) 
|
|
|
|
|
1. Have you tried asking him to stop?
2. Have you tried talking with HR about it if #1 didn't work?
3. Look for a new job?
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
|
|
|
|
|
|
Other people in the office are OK with it? Put a microphone there and amplify the singing so everyone can enjoy it.
|
|
|
|
|
Are Tasers illegal in Brazil?
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
|
|
|
|
|
|
So, take your taser, file off the serial numbers, then shoot him.
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
|
|
|
|
|
I used to be the guy thrumming his fingers on the desk, I didn't even realize I was doing it as loud as I thought it was until someone pointed it out.
Oops 
Talk to him about it. If he's a decent guy he'll be embarrassed about it and probably stop. If not, then talk to your manager.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
|
|
|
|
|
Stab him in the face.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
|
|
|
|
|
Why wait 3 months? Send him a polite IM or email requesting that he not sing and drum on the desk. He's probably not aware that he's disturbing you. (If he was, you would've said something.  )
/ravi
|
|
|
|
|
Drip some Crazy Glue on desk where he taps his fingers.
Marc
|
|
|
|
|
Such a deal as I have for the OP. We buy CA (cyanoacrylate adhesive) in 5 gallon containers.
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
Noise cancelling headphones are the greatest invention since... erm... radio?
[edit] Oh, I just saw your earlier reply that you can't have headphones. Just kill him and dump his body in the confidential papers shredder bin - it worked for me!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
|
|
|
|
|
Realistically of course there are only three alternatives
1. He stops
2. You quit
3. He quits.
Option 1/3 means that you must find some way to make it happen.
You could of course negotiate with option 2 by saying "He stops making noise or I am out of here". That of course depends on your own situation and how valuable the company finds you and him.
|
|
|
|
|
Work on your Carol Channing and Ethel Merman imitations, and respond in kind.
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
Record him on day one and play it back for the rest of the week with a directional speaker aimed at his desk
Steve
_________________
I C(++) therefore I am
|
|
|
|
|
Is when a Russian ex-KGB agent sabotages the war plans of a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate.
|
|
|
|
|
Give it a couple of days.
They'll switch roles depending on which way the wind blows.
|
|
|
|
|
..and you can't make a movie out of it; too damn unrealistic.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
|
|
|
|
|
That's not a paradox, that's irony.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
|
|
|
|
|
And no more ironic than giving one to Obama who, during his acceptance speech, reminds us how war is necessary....
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin
|
|
|
|
|
Personally, I'd like to grab each of them by the ear and knock their heads together.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
|
|
|
|
|
I Just did some manual test and IE11 might very well be faster than chrome!!
In startup and page loading time!! :P
Might give it a new go! :P
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
