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I once saw a position advertised where they wanted (this is many years ago so I'm not sure I remember the exact wording) ... must have attended Microsoft Foundation Classes ...
Bunch of idiots!
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I've still got the reference books around here somewhere, if you like to study up a bit. 
It's multiple large volumes, and there's another book that details lower level functions that all start with "z" which I never figured out what to do with. I have no idea where I put this treasure, but I don't recall tossing any of it where it belongs...
Will Rogers never met me.
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They made their intentions perfectly clear: They're looking for a senior developer who is willing (stupid enough) to work for a junior's pay. Makes sense! 
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Do they ever become Senior?
And what's the definition of senior in that case?
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"Senior" as in "senile"? 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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From my student days (long ago) there were two that became classics:
On job ad requiring familiarity with Cobolt.
Another one where experience with system stimulation was required.
This was in the early 1980s.
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I have one for you, not necessarily LinkedIn but sh*tty recruiter related, none the less.
This recruiter that was unable to place me about 5 years ago, sends me emails every so often, asking me if I know of any developers looking for work, but never actually asks me if I would be interested in the position; only if I know someone else that would be.
It's much easier to enjoy the favor of both friend and foe, and not give a damn who's who. -- Lon Milo DuQuette
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If a recruiter has given up one you, then...
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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It doesn't really matter because I have a very good gig right now making great money. Recruiter's loss, really.
It's much easier to enjoy the favor of both friend and foe, and not give a damn who's who. -- Lon Milo DuQuette
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I got a voicemail yesterday with the transcription sent to me, looking for a "c hash dot net" developer... So I actually listened to the message, and the headless hunter actually did say "c hash"
SMH
Director of Transmogrification Services
Shinobi of Query Language
Master of Yoda Conditional
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I definitely found that to be true during my last job search. After hundreds of useless e-mails through LI, I ended up finding one through Craig's List. It was an advert posted by a recruiter but she was quite competent. Apparently the company has used her extensively and I can see why.
FWIW, she is based in the Portland, OR area and works nation-wide. If anyone wants her name and info then contact me and I will pass it along.
"They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers! Can I get an amen?"
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And needs to be On Call and / or carry a Beeper.
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
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I keep getting emails for Mainframe OPERATOR jobs that last 2-3 months and are on the opposite side of the country. I was a COBOL/IDMS developer from 1983-1995.
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Joining linkedin bears no profit for your working life or career.
It's just another source of spam.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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You mean you know of a competent recruiter?
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OriginalGriff wrote: incompetent recruiters
Pleonasm...
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That's the reason I don't LinkedIn 
I was also warned that some companies only look there; which is perfect, because they're obviously not really in the need for a programmer then.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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They want to pay you as a junior developer but really need a senior developer.
I get emails like this all the time from recruiters; it's not just LinkedIn.
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I can see how that might be frustrating or humiliating. I'm not a big fan of Java personally, but I feel I can code it. The thing that irritates me more than anything else is "Must have X years of experience in XYX" programming language. That's usually not a good indicator of a programmer's ability to adapt. When screening for candidates, companies should search on paradigms (Imperative, OOP and Functional) and possibly experience with APIs and business processes to see if a candidate is a good fit.
I'm thinking about applying for a IT job with the IRS, but for their external positions, they often say something like "Must have X number of years of programming experience in Java or COBOL..." I can understand why companies look for programmers with COBOL experience because COBOL is IMO very hard for a CS graduate to tolerate, but Java is a respectable language even if C# and Haskell are better
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Whenever I get a contact for something that's a bad commute, I always ask:
"Are they going to send a wi-fi enabled car each morning and evening?"
So far, haven't gotten a positive answer on that.
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It has always been like this in the profession. It is just becoming more pronounced as a result of the Internet and the constant churn of the technologies being used on it.
I retired in 2014, though I still do development on my own projects. And yet I still receive emails from recruiters for various positions, including quite a few, where my resume clearly demonstrates I have no experience in such areas.
And considering the increasing and rampant age discrimination in our profession, one would think that a quick look at my resume would clearly indicate that I would be too old for such consideration (And yes this form of discrimination will get everyone here as well; you ain't getting younger.).
Recently I signed up with Indeed to see if I could get some remote, software, technical writing work. Now I receive emails from Indeed for all sorts of projects that I don't have the slightest expertise in.
Before the Internet became a thing, recruiters would often list an entire laundry list of requirements for developers whether they worked in the Java Community or the Microsoft Development Community. Obviously the job specifications were so flagrant and outlandish one had to wonder how anyone ever got called in for an interview. 
Going back further to the day that IT was transitioning between Visual Basic 5.0 and 6.0, recruiters would not look at anyone without substantial Visual Basic 6.0 experience, even though there were no significant differences between the two environments by which a competent Visual Basic developer could not easily acclimate to...
The issues being reported here regarding the nonsense now coming out of LinkedIn recruitment for technical professionals is just another development in the on-going deterioration in the usage of technologies over the Internet.
In the last two years alone, I have seen a trend demonstrating that development is increasingly producing shoddy results. For example, I have seen an increased usage of flaky drop-down entry forms whereby if you move your mouse just slightly while attempting to enter some text, the form suddenly disappears along with your text. And it can be quite maddening after several attempts at this.
Of course the most serious examples are the ongoing disastrous issues with Boeing Corporation where present trends are starting to show that the company will very possibly be bankrupt by the end of 2020.
Though many tend to laugh off such issues, such as the one here with LinkedIn, the totality of such issues is becoming an increasing threat to society in general as it is merely compounding existing issues that many are becoming aware of.
For example, Silicon Valley software engineers are increasingly starting to demonstrate by speaking out that much of the smart-device technology that has been developed and still is in development is actually designed to impede the daily lives of their users. Instead of providing legitimate software processing, much of the software used on such devices is instead there to spy on users and\or collect their data (ie: recent lawsuits against Amazon for their ridiculous door-bell system), while giving the impression that the software is doing something useful (ie; FaceBook "Like" buttons).
I have been advising for quite some time to the younger professionals to get off this merry-go-round of "junk" technologies by simply refusing to use them in the way most vendors intend. So for example, stop using your cell-phones as if your entire lives are wedded to it. Instead simply use them for what the basic premise of their use was designed for originally, important and\or emergency communications with love ones and friends.
Do people really have to talk on their phones while on the toilet?
The idea of my professions on this is to remove the factor that has made our technologies today such a disastrous mess to society in general; the people who enable the tech vendors to achieve such success, such as people who may read this comment.
You cannot move forward in this instance expecting that such things will correct themselves as a result of altruism on the parts of tech vendors. They are driven by one thing only like all businesses; separating you from your monies and in many cases, even your own moral convictions. This entire profit-driven motivation began when the vested owners of the companies they created to actually produce decent products left due to retirement and other factors only to be replaced by what are called "professional managers"...
And for this we now have planes falling out of the sky...
So it is all on you to "Think" as the old IBM motto promoted before you do actually continue to invest in such "junk" technologies.
If you don't, things will only get far worse... 
Steve Naidamast
Sr. Software Engineer
Black Falcon Software, Inc.
blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com
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I just went to the O'Reilly site to check on a ebook I thought I "owned" and I saw this notice:
"In March 2020 the Members Library will be shutting down
Please download any ebook, video compilation, or other content you wish to save prior to March 2020." 
And, the notice is on the Library Sign-in page [^], so if you don't have to sign in, you won't see it.
Funny part is this blurb at the top of my library (emphasis mine): "Every ebook and video you’ve purchased through your O’Reilly account is available below. You get lifetime access to these products, and we will alert you when they are updated." I guess their lifetime is way shorter than mine. 
O'Reilly used to be my go-to publisher for books. You could almost never go wrong buying a Nutshell book. I was surprised when they stopped selling their own books. Now they can't even be bothered to keep the space for ebooks they promised to give you "lifetime access" to.
Their entire focus seems to be shifting to trade conferences and the so-called O'Reilly online learning, which is their subscription access service, formerly Safari.
I know books are "passé", and I'm probably dating myself by still wanting to read them, but this seems like another great service dying in favor of subscription pricing.
Anyway, enough ranting. 
Bottom line, if you have ebooks on O'Reilly and you want to keep them, be sure to get them downloaded prior to March.
Alan
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ajhampson wrote: You get lifetime access to these products
Ha ha, silly you. You thought lifetime referred to YOUR lifetime. Nope. 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Same goes for lifetime warranties.
Always ask what the lifetime is for the product.
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