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My brain works left.
TOMZ_KV
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Tap out a triplet pattern with one hand.
Now try and tap out a half note or sixteenth note pattern with the other hand.
Once you have mastered this, now try and reverse the hands.
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My brain works perfectly fine... wait... why the hell am I drawing an 8?
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Ok. That's it. Now I'll be singing "Hi, my name is Joe, and I work...." for the rest of the day.
You are hereby sentenced to work in nothing but Dartmouth BASIC and all the legacy code is nothing but GOTOs.
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J Julian wrote: Dartmouth BASIC
Is there any other kind?
(Goes back to playing with VAX BASIC...)
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I can't do it because I can't draw the 6 while rotating my foot.
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Try it in Roman Numerals.
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'Tis that time... take a conference call for the manager because he is out today.
What is your narfle the garthok?
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I am concurrently converting VB 6 code to C++ (For an embedded enviroment) and C# (Pretty version for demonstration of the technology)
Converting loose types into strict types is roughly the equivelant of the human variant of the same types. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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"converting VB 6 to C++" sounds like a screaming nightmare.
I sincerely hope you mean "rewrite a VB6 code base to C++"
:p
(had protein, must need caffeine.)
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Trying to understand the mess that is "SuperPro Toolkit" license tool to generate new licenses on USB dongles.
I'd rather be phishing!
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Maximilien wrote: "SuperPro Toolkit"
Sounds like a headache already... nothing good can have a name like that! 
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Correcting a big farking memory leak in a debugging tool that arose because some dipshit, namely yours truly, forgot to implement IDisposable in about a dozen places.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Rewriting C# Linq expressions that refer to one type of a IQueryable; where the data access layer uses another type (projecting). All because the people who wrote the app decided that they needed to write their own almost identical (but not compatible) models to expose from MVC WebApi.
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. [Chinese Proverb]
Jonathan C Dickinson (C# Software Engineer)
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Getting 64 bit Java to talk to a 32 bit JNI.
Cheers,
Mike Fidler
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When I have to implement/fix yet another critical feature that somehow managed to evaporate from the client feature list in the past million meetings, and it has to be done yesterday... (I joined a team in the final stages of the project, and being the main dev I have to finish everything)
Maybe it's more a case of strangling the Garthok... /rage off
P.S. upvote for the reference  haven't heard of the Garthok in ages 
modified 15-Nov-13 7:21am.
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Trying to get through to the new developer why source control is a good thing and why editing code on the production server is a bad thing
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Having to justify to a brand new 23 year old "social" executive why we use the Microsoft stack vs. PHP + MySQL...
"Well, .net costs us about $2.60 per line of code vs. about $5 for PHP. And we have 1 guy supporting 150 Windows servers, you can have 5 guys supporting the same number of Linux and double your dev team...if you really think that is best."
Robert
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Trying to explain to the head office (where all the big brains are) that something they just noticed today has been working that way since it was installed back in 2009.
They had called in a panic that something must have broke since yesterday when it was working just fine.
I think it must be something in the water.
But what do I know, I just wrote the program that they use every day.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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I do the same thing all days, except that the release year is 1998.
And that the application should be dead, as i was asked 1 year ago to rewrite it and i'm still waiting for them to 'test' it.
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Sorry, didn't even know that was a reference, until I saw someone up-voted you for it.
ref[^]
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Writing a VB6 object to talk to Excel 2003 because the customer doesn't want a web service
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A customer at a garden ornament shop says to the cashier, "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers." The cashier replies "that'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the sunflowers, and an apology for my wife."
/ravi
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Quote: just wasting everybody's time
I think you mean he is just waisting everybody's time.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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. If you think that grumpy developer sounds like a head case, you should check out the contractor. He is really just wasting everybody's time and he reeks of booze too. 