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Trying to get through to the new developer why source control is a good thing and why editing code on the production server is a bad thing
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Having to justify to a brand new 23 year old "social" executive why we use the Microsoft stack vs. PHP + MySQL...
"Well, .net costs us about $2.60 per line of code vs. about $5 for PHP. And we have 1 guy supporting 150 Windows servers, you can have 5 guys supporting the same number of Linux and double your dev team...if you really think that is best."
Robert
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Trying to explain to the head office (where all the big brains are) that something they just noticed today has been working that way since it was installed back in 2009.
They had called in a panic that something must have broke since yesterday when it was working just fine.
I think it must be something in the water.
But what do I know, I just wrote the program that they use every day.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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I do the same thing all days, except that the release year is 1998.
And that the application should be dead, as i was asked 1 year ago to rewrite it and i'm still waiting for them to 'test' it.
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Sorry, didn't even know that was a reference, until I saw someone up-voted you for it.
ref[^]
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Writing a VB6 object to talk to Excel 2003 because the customer doesn't want a web service
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A customer at a garden ornament shop says to the cashier, "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers." The cashier replies "that'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the sunflowers, and an apology for my wife."
/ravi
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Quote: just wasting everybody's time
I think you mean he is just waisting everybody's time.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Darn spell checker. I keep setting it to "Lounge Speak" and it keeps going back to "US English". 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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No, he really did mean "wasting".
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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Sounds like the company we purchased a custom software package from, they keep blaming one of their contractors for the delay in delivery. And they keep asking us to send more data. WTF? We gave them remote access to our database.
What a waist of time these guys are, I think it's the same outfit as the one that did the US Gov contract for the health insurance website.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Whoa, that's like deja vu all over again.
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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Does seem a bit recursive, doesn't it? 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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S Houghtelin wrote: What a waist of time these guys are,
WASTE DAMMIT! WASTE!
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Waste what? You can't waste a dammit.
It's Damn it anyway, damn it!
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: WASTE DAMMIT! WASTE!
DAMNIT, DAMNIT! DAMNIT!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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SoMad wrote: wasting everybody's time and he reeks of booze too.
Had a few of those running around here from time to time... 
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I think this guy has Gin in his thermos... 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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We had a customer show up super drunk once and was running around the hall making a scene... every person he came across he hugged (mostly in an inappropriate manner). After that, word must have gotten around to his superiors because he stopped showing up at all (sober or otherwise).
We also had a coworker, who was the company accountant, that was a raging alcoholic. During his lunch break, he occasionally just went and sat in his car and drank warm beers that he stashed in there.
Yep... strange folk... 
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We had a customer that like to get drunk and call tech support. He'd usually have his equally drunk wife on another extension contributing to the conversation.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: We had a customer that like to get drunk and call tech support. He'd usually have his equally drunk wife on another extension contributing to the conversation.
Was this back in the Full Body Latex SuitTM days?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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. If you think that grumpy developer sounds like a head case, you should check out the contractor. He is really just wasting everybody's time and he reeks of booze too. 