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At no point in my argument did I say that you have to be unhappy to be honest, courageous etc.
The point I am making is that happiness is a feeling that can be fleeting and that there are values that I hold as more important than happiness and would sacrifice some happiness to uphold those values.
For me happiness is the occasional by-product of living out the other values that I hold as more important, yes it's nice to be happy but I try not to let it determine how I relate to the other values I have.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Yeah no... methinks this going south. Methinks you argue. Methinks you ain't happy.
Jeremy Falcon
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About a year (and two days) ago, I was an independent business owner without employees, no girlfriend and plenty of money.
Whenever I was doing my own thing in the evening (mostly gaming) I often thought to myself "hell yeah, life is good!"
Yesterday a year ago, my cousing died in a car crash, so that wasn't a happy time at all, hence the two extra days.
I now have a girlfriend, I took on an employee, and I got a second (external) employee starting next week.
I also took on some new customers that are a bit bigger and more demanding than my average customer before that.
Life's still pretty good, but it comes with so much more stress and responsibilities.
I don't think I've thought "hell yeah, life is good!" in the past year.
At least I still have my money 
All in all, I'm more happy than not, but especially the girlfriend took some getting used to after being single and living alone for eight years.
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To summarize: - Without girlfriend: great times!
- With girlfriend: tough times.
"In testa che avete, Signor di Ceprano?"
-- Rigoletto
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Yeah, but don't tell her or times will be really tough! 
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Sander Rossel wrote: Yesterday a year ago, my cousing died in a car crash, so that wasn't a happy time at all, hence the two extra days.
Sorry to hear that man. I've had a similar situation where I had a step-niece die in car crash and she was barely even 20. That's just too young to go. It's not right.
What I'm eluding to with the OP is, while my perception is screwed towards the places I spend time, on CP a lot of people go out of their way to argue and be unhappy, whereas others I have talked to don't as much. On CP, you tell someone positive and they argue. It's insane.
Sander Rossel wrote: I now have a girlfriend, I took on an employee, and I got a second (external) employee starting next week.
Congrats buddy. You're doing better than I did with my business. Hope it continues to grow.
Sander Rossel wrote: Life's still pretty good, but it comes with so much more stress and responsibilities.
That's not being unhappy, per se though. I'm just referring to the miserable cows I find on CP. Not referring to you at all. I think we jive - I hope. 
Sander Rossel wrote: At least I still have my money
Could be worse.
Sander Rossel wrote: All in all, I'm more happy than not, but especially the girlfriend took some getting used to after being single and living alone for eight years.
For sure man. She'll be wanting to put something somewhere that you can no longer find or change the washing machine settings without you knowing so you no longer hear the ding and leave your clothes in to get moldy. Good times.
Jeremy Falcon
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Sander Rossel wrote: Maybe it's because, on average, you need to have a certain streak of pessimism to make it as a programmer.
Interesting thought. Guess that may apply to any engineer or scientist. We have to see past the fluff to get to the truth to make stuff. Guess we gotta take the good with the bad.
Jeremy Falcon
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Touché. Will have to admit my perception is screwed towards the places I spend time. But, that being said, it seems to me some peeps on here go out of their way to argue and be unhappy, whereas others I have talked to don't.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: And I bet y'all lie about it saying you are when you ain't. Prove me wrong.
AFAIK, that's human nature; whatever place you're in, we always see ways that things can be improved. Things that are lacking. Things that are unjust. Things that are dumb, wasteful, or inefficient.
Being simply content is hard even; always being happy is a sign of mental illness.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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Eddy Vluggen wrote: always being happy is a sign of mental illness.
Just don't tell 'em and ruin it for them. 
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Count me out, please ... 
My happiness index is quite high, despite all odds at this point of time...
Trying to cope with all this ...
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I am indeed not happy, and I do lie about it frequently in order to not sound like a whiny wanker (to borrow an expression from our UK friends).
My running joke is that I'm looking for a better writing staff for this soap opera I call a life.
Software Zen: delete this;
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You're good peeps Gary, you know that right?
I'm trying to bait those folks that just argue and are miserable cows because they love being one. We all have good and bad times man.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: You're good peeps Gary, you know that right?
Thanks man, I appreciate that.Jeremy Falcon wrote: I'm trying to bait those folks that just argue and are miserable cows because they love being one
Yeah, I get tired of that myself. I try pretty hard to ignore (and not feed) the trolls, because life's too short.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Gary Wheeler wrote: Yeah, I get tired of that myself. I try pretty hard to ignore (and not feed) the trolls, because life's too short.
Amen brother. Now if I could be as smart you as you and learn that for myself.
Jeremy Falcon
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You are what you think.
Example: relationships always end "badly" ... because that's what you choose to remember.
"Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I
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Gerry Schmitz wrote: You are what you think.
I would vote this up 1,000 times if I could. Spot on, buddy.
Jeremy Falcon
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I am doing much better since I started brewing my own beer. <burp>
>64
Some days the dragon wins. Suck it up.
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You should not ask questions without already knowing the answers. I'm going to go down this list to see the give and take. I will confess, I am not happy. Angry, frustrated, etc is my life. I love paying huge vet bills for animals that don't f'ing belong to me.. I could go on...
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
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charlieg wrote: You should not ask questions without already knowing the answers.
I already know the answer. The question was asked for a reason. You learn in life people tend to lack self-awareness and/or just lie. It's to extract information that really isn't related to the actual answer.
charlieg wrote: I will confess, I am not happy. Angry, frustrated, etc is my life. I love paying huge vet bills for animals that don't f'ing belong to me.. I could go on...
We all have moments man... some go out of the way to make life worse. That's all I'm saying. Like peeps that love to argue on CP. They love the misery. So like if you stub your toe... don't make it worse by shooting your foot off.
Jeremy Falcon
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So I read through all of the replies, and I've pondered this a bit. JF, life is not about being happy. It's about being blessed. Before anyone launches on me, I want to state, I am a Christian, God is very real in my life, I wish He would go away a lot, but these days I feel like a towel in His washing machine.
Happiness is bogus. Children are happy because adults who know better make it so. Adults know better.
I decided, see above, to let God plan my family. For all of you out there with your heads exploding or trying to understand, just roll with it. After 40+ years in engineering/software I have been unemployed for 1 week followed on by two desperate job offers. I have seen a lot of crap in my life as all of you have. so, back to my point...
Count your blessings. When you - all of you - stop doing that you ignore providence. Be humble and plow on.
We get too attached to tech. Go get some chickens.
Peace to all of you
<edit>
I wanted to add one thought - all of us get caught up in the urgent and do not focus on what is important. I'm speaking from some serious experience here. If you are working so hard that you are not happy, or feeling blessed or lacking something - and a lot of us are working hard to provide - take a hard look at your expenses and priorities. That son or daughter shadowing you while you go work on the car? The car is urgent, the child is important.
Trust me on this.
Charlie Gilley
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
Has never been more appropriate.
modified 19-Oct-23 16:22pm.
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charlieg wrote: So I read through all of the replies, and I've pondered this a bit. JF, life is not about being happy. It's about being blessed. Before anyone launches on me, I want to state, I am a Christian, God is very real in my life, I wish He would go away a lot, but these days I feel like a towel in His washing machine.
Dude, I'd never laugh at you for being a Christian or feeling blessed. In fact I'd have very strong words towards someone who did. I'm not a religious type person, but I've learned in life that God does exist and blessings do happen.
charlieg wrote: Happiness is bogus. Children are happy because adults who know better make it so. Adults know better.
That's where we disagree, buddy. Happiness is not bogus. It's something you gotta work for each and every day. Peeps make it sound like it's mutually exclusive to any other thing in life, but it's not. I promise. lol
charlieg wrote: Count your blessings. When you - all of you - stop doing that you ignore providence. Be humble and plow on.
charlieg wrote: We get too attached to tech. Go get some chickens.
Deal
charlieg wrote: The car is urgent, the child is important.
100% man
Jeremy Falcon
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