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Many years ago, I maintained the Music on Hold for our company - lots of classic rock, blues, etc. Interesting when the randomizer would go from Pasty Cline to Led Zeppelin to Howling Wolf.
It was rewarding to walk by co-workers' office and hear them listening to it while working. The owner, on more than on occasion, came in and told me how many clients would ask "Where did you get your On-hold music?".
As much as I would have liked to have added The Bloodhound Gangs' Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo or Farting with a Walkman On, I found discretion the better part of valor. 
Hey, don't get me going on the Christmas playlist!
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vaxman9 wrote: Hey, don't get me going on the Christmas playlist!
I'd want to start with Kevin Bloody Wilson: "Ho Ho ****ing Ho" ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: until I got complaints from my mother that
You made your mother call the help line?
Interesting family dynamic...
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Nah, she just rang me at work and got put on hold while they found me. 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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"Thank you for calling the world's worse company. We are not recording this call because we just don't care anymore."
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Hi, this is Bob in schmagolafore, I am in second level support and speak perfect English. Since you hit 1, I am assuming that you have done level 1 diagnosis and we shall continue from there.
>64
Some days the dragon wins. Suck it up.
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"All of our representatives are at an off-site team-building exercise..."
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And then they gave you a full CV of each of their employees?? How are you supposed to "choose"..? With pictures? Sounds a bit creepy to me...
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I had a weird one yesterday: "Your call and the hold period will be recorded for training purposes", they want to hear you cursing under your breath about how long you've been on hold?
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We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume ... so you may not be able to hear what we are saying 😸
Paul Sanders.
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal.
Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.
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Craig Robbins wrote: We are experiencing a lower than normal call volume [because we disconnect 4 out of 5 callers] so you may speak with any support representative of your choosing [use of our phone directory is a violation of your contract and will terminate our services with you]
FTFY.
Software Zen: delete this;
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"Thank you for calling us. A representative will be with you shortly..."
Then the other end goes dead...
Steve Naidamast
Sr. Software Engineer
Black Falcon Software, Inc.
blackfalconsoftware@outlook.com
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When it's "fully automated" it's the worst. When trying to get my cable set up with Verizon I was caught in an endless loop of reporting that my cable wasn't working. after waiting for hours on hold, someone would transfer me to "someone that could help". Instead I'd get a recording that says it would check my line.
...Followed by the recording saying "Your device is now working! Please call back if you have any other [needs/etc]" <click! hungup=""> [ back to a new call... try to convince them to re-open the original case number ]
That went on for days, I'd have to shout "wait don't transfer me yet!" if I got a human on the line.
Finally a service call.
A guy in a fancy truck who arrived and spent nine hours at my house - and he had to go through the SAME SYSTEM!
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I've found that for some of these systems if I pound on the '*' key on the phone's keypad, I bypass the fricking "press 1 for xxxxx, press 2 for yyyyy" and go right to a (not necessarily competent nor understandable) human service rep.
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I really thought this would go quickly ...
Relax! A formal speech revival? (11)
Relax! REST
A formal speech ORATION revival?
RESTORATION
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I got it as you know - nice little clue - I think some of our regulars must be on holidays
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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I looked at it and thought "oration" but my brain is dead today (various reasons, don't ask, but one of them is yesterday's pneumonia jab - oh the joy of turning 65 - which has left me with an aching arm and a thumping headache).
Nice clue and yes, it should have gone quickly!
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DerekT-P wrote: oh the joy of turning 65
Yes, I think I can still remember that. 
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I'm due next February.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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 I didn't realise you were pregnant!
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65 years is a long gestation, but ... 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Welcome to the OTHG (over the hill gang).
Back in the day, there used to be a saying:
"No one wants to live to be 90. Until they are 89."
I officially want to live to be 90.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened!!
>64
Some days the dragon wins. Suck it up.
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In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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Relax! A formal speech revival? (11)
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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