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 famous last words comes to mind.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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Microsoft invented bloatware; I feel your pain.
Last night I bought ArcGIS from ESRI - talk about obscene downloads! I got a two-page download site for all the individual items I need to install to make it work! Just to keep it interesting, there is no Help available to assist me in deciding what all these modules do, or whether I even need them!
Will Rogers never met me.
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My car is in for a service, and while I'm impressed by the professional approach of the garage so far, I hate the courtesy car: a Citroen C3. There's about a foot of clutch travel, but only the top one inch actually bites, the suspension is way to hard and bouncy at low speed but goes too soft and "floaty" at speed. It's noisy, the engine feels willing but rough and gutless. and the steering wheel isn't in front of me - it's slightly to the right.
Oh and you can't see a car behind you at all because the window is so small and the middle headrest at the back covers a car completely. Fortunately it does have a good reversing cam / sensor setup so parking isn't too bad. It's also got a tire warning light, but my pump is in the boot of my car and all four look inflated. I'll borrow my neighbours one later and check 'em.
The nicest thing I can say about it is ... um ... it's very French. And for today, it's free.
If I'd paid money for it, I'd probably be parking it somewhere that it will almost certainly be stolen from.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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That's weird, in the past Citroens were renowned for their suspension.
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Some years ago I swapped cars with a work colleague for a weekend. Mine was a Peugeot 405, his a big Citroen estate (can't recall the actual model). Driving it felt like being on a small boat in a big ocean, which I found quite weird. Switching on the "sport suspension" was much more like driving an actual car.
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That sounds like a Citroen CX with hydropneumatic suspension.
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That's the one. 
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I remember through the mists of a very long time, owning a Citroen as a student. Decided to change the plugs one day and it took half a day and what seemed like half the engine lying on the floor to get access to them. Left me with a "never again" feeling ...
Brings back another memory though. My mate was parked near me and working on his Ford Escort which he spent many, many years tweaking and replacing just about every part of until it was rally capable.
One day he left it in a parking space on a main road which was opposite a T junction at the bottom of a steep hill. When he came back to the car, he found it inside what remained of the shop he had parked in front of. I know I shouldn't laugh, but nobody was hurt ... 
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Not just Citroens - my first car was a Lancia Beta HPE 2000, and to get at one of the spark plugs you had to dismantle part of the cooling system ... Plus if you needed a part you had best take the old one with you as they fitted what came to hand. I found this out when I needed to replace a cracked distributor cap which took several journeys to get teh right one.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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A friend who runs his own repair shop tells me, to change the plugs on a Range Rover you need to take the body off - he refuses to work on them, he also employs an ex Land Rover factory mechanic who also refuses to work on them.
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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Never had problems like that with an Allegro. Although to be fair, it did keep at least two North Sea oilrigs in business. One gallon of engine oil leaked per 100 miles, but at least it was predictable!
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Or the "All agro" as it was known.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Sad but true. Mine had the sporty 5th gear but turning on the air blowers did make a sound like a mass of wailing banshees that would make every pedestrian stop and look around.  But, despite being single-handedly responsible for a fair proportion of climate change damage, it never actually broke down on me in several years.
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Reminds me of a Chevy Nova I inherited from my step-dad. The four spark plugs on the passenger side of the engine were a PITA to change because you had to dismantle the air and exhaust handling to get at them. He changed the plugs himself the first time several years into owning the car after multiple plug changes by the dealer. He discovered that those four plugs were factory-original and completely degraded. It was amazing how much better the engine sounded afterward.
Software Zen: delete this;
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Isn't Citroen French for lemon?
// TODO: Insert something here Top ten reasons why I'm lazy
1.
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Kind of was making a silly joke. When you buy a lemon, you've bought a troublesome car; maybe more of an American expression perhaps?
and Citroen looks like "citron".
Dutch?
Quote: André-Gustave Citroën (French: [ɑ̃dʁe ɡystav sitʁɔɛn]; 5 February 1878 – 3 July 1935) was a French industrialist and the founder of French automaker Citroën. He is also remembered for his application of double helical gears.
// TODO: Insert something here Top ten reasons why I'm lazy
1.
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Well sort of Dutch 
Quote: The Citroen family descended from a grandfather in the Netherlands who had been a greengrocer and seller of tropical fruit, and had taken the surname of Limoenman, Dutch for "lime man"; his son however changed it to Citroen
André Citroën - Wikipedia[^]
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I test drove a Citroen once, many many years ago.
My first note of caution was when I shut the driver's door and it felt and sounded like a paper bag.
It drove OK-ish, until I wanted to slow down. Gentle pressure on the brake - nothing. A little more - nothing. Pressing pretty hard - still nothing. Standing on the pedal and pulling the steering wheel to get more pressure - an almost imperceptible reduction in velocity. Fortunately there was nothing in front of me and at the bottom of the hill, I parked it and walked back to the showroom. Luckily I'd walked there (my car was fine, but it was close) so I just threw the keys at the guy and told him where his POS was.
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OriginalGriff wrote: If I'd paid money for it, I'd probably be parking it somewhere that it will almost certainly be stolen from.
Well now that you've mentioned everything that's wrong with it, there's probably not gonna be any takers...
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Quote: A characterful supermini
"Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I
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"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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See? Sounds like a lout unfit to manage change! (11)
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You on dem pills again ?
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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We give up 
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. - Hunter S Thompson - RIP
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