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RossMW wrote: here in NZ there's no tax, social or whatever benefit
How it should be! 
RossMW wrote: We just saw marriage as a meaningless religious symbolic bureaucracy.
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Do you get along with your best friend ALL the time?
Marriage is like that, you can get out of sorts with your partner but there is enough love and friendship to get past differences and make up. The bond grows stronger through these situations.
Been married for 32 years to my best friend and I wouldn't change any of it except for the times I've been an idiot and hurt her.
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Agreed, this is how it should be.
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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MarkTJohnson wrote: I wouldn't change any of it except for the times I've been an idiot and hurt her.
Honest question: Has anyone ever found himself to be a situation where she admitted being the idiot and hurt you? That always seems to be so one-sided. The old joke, and it is one of them, is that it's always the guy who's wrong, no exception.
I make mistakes and I'll own up. But it has to go both ways. Otherwise one of the two is pretending, and I refuse to play that game if those are the rules.
(says the happily single guy)
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I mean, my wife regularly apologizes to me for when she's hurt me, and I apologize to her for when I've hurt her. That's just being a mature person.
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She's one of the few.
I hate to generalize, but...
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Yes she has.
Sorry in the delay responding, I'm on vacation.
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Marriage is great. I married a cheerleader and she has continued to be a cheerleader for everything I do. She is also an amazing cook and highly intelligent allowing for some great conversations and a happy time together. My son will be 32 next birthday and just sent a thank you note to us for all that we have done for him - although most of it came from my wife and she deserves the thanks.
On the other hand, my son's wonderful girlfriend is living with us, looks after him, helps my wife keep up the house and cuts our all our hair (she is a professional hairdresser who cannot work right now). My son says they aren't interested in marriage, they'll just live together. Whatever works.
These are different times from 30-odd years ago. As long as everyone is happy, that's what one should do.
The jokes are still funny though.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I'm the same age as your son and lived with my girlfriend (now my wife) under my parents roof for a long stretch (5 years).
I thank you too, because the possibility of living together while starting up is pure gold and speaks a lot on the kind of parent you are!
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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He has a large part of his student loan still to pay (in the US, students/parents are on their own financially - it's a mess) so living at home helps with his bills. he was reluctant to come back at first but now he's happy he did.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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In Italy at 30 you're considered a beginner and offered stages paying well below the cost of an apartment rent in high crime areas or a room rent elsewhere.
I've been lucky (and opportunist) to start working at 24 but I could never live alone with what I was paid, took me exactly 5 years to manage to move out in a ridiculously cheap apartment (it's worth a lot but it's cheap, I've been exceptionally lucky, 2 days window of opportunity which I narrowly missed but since I've made a good impression on the owner I manage to get it noetheless) with my girlfriend.
It has been all the help I ever needed in the moment I needed it the most. In further 5 years the situation got so bright I lent my dad 10k to expand the house without a second thought, but all thanks to them.
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Yes and no.
The right to complain and especially joke on marriage is sacred, marriage does have its quirks.
ZurdoDev wrote: I suppose for some of you, maybe it is torture AND the best relationship at the same time.
I think that to be married you have to love the other person a lot, but also hate a bit: otherwise why marry when you can just be togehter? 
GCS d--(d+) s-/++ a C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- r+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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We tend to make jokes about subjects that make us uncomfortable. This is why sex and death are the eternal funny subjects.
As for marriage, it involves living in very close proximity to someone whose fundamental thought processes differ from ours. For example, my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions. No wonder we tell jokes about it!
We've survived 19 years and two teenage girls, so we can't be doing too badly...
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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Daniel Pfeffer wrote: my wife had to figuratively beat me over the head before I realized that when she complained about her day, she wanted sympathy, not solutions
That's so simple, yet tremendously insightful. If I commiserate to somebody else, typically it's because I'm fishing for solutions, as I have very little practical use for sympathy. Whereas if I have a solution, then that means in the future I can proactively work at avoiding altogether whatever got me down in the first place. Wanting sympathy, but not looking for solutions, simply means the situation will be repeating itself.
That's the problem-solver in me speaking.
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ZurdoDev wrote: With all of the "marriage sucks" jokes lately
Oh, they were posted as jokes? Damn...
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my $0.02
Caveat: just completed 59 years. Great, if not perfect, life. Would do it again. I think, though, I would have my grandchildren first, they are more fun than children.
I think you could add some legal ramifications.
Yes, in most, if not all parts of this country, you can coexist without marriage.
I told my daughters that doing so could significantly reduce their options if the coexist partner walks out leaving them behind.
If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, perhaps you don't understand the situation.
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theoldfool wrote: my $0.02
Where do I send the check?
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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ZurdoDev wrote: Why do people keep getting married if it's such torture?
It is easy... to solve problems that one doesn't have living alone.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Nelek wrote: to solve problems that one doesn't have living alone.
Like what? I can open my own pickle jars. 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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That doesn't sound like any problem to be solved, neither within nor without marriage.
But take a problem such as snoring, keeping the partner awake. Through true love, you learn to handle that. And when you repeatedly hear your partner bitching about your terrible snoring to her friends, your anger over that is handled the same way: Through true love.
If you live by yourself, there is no partner getting angry from your snoring, and you do not get angry from hearing her complaining over you. So there is less true love exercized, but the problem is avoided.
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Thank you...
I didn't think an explanation was needed... I was obviously wrong 
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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There was a saying in England :: "many a true word is said in jest.".
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Marriage is a statement of commitment. This is why we invite lots of people to attend and generally make a big deal about it.
And the reason why the commitment is important is because it is intended to provide stability. If you find that there isn't stability; that one or both of the partners is cheating or abusing or an addict or whatever, then it makes sense to withdraw the commitment.
But stability is important, and highly valued, because it provides a basis for raising a family, getting and providing an education, saving, making a home; all those things that society is based on.
Obviously, that is the ideal, and not the reality for lots of people. And the difference between the ideal and the reality has always been with us, and was not an invention of the sixties or birth control, as some would have it. Otherwise, Moses could have come down from the mountaintop with at least one less commandment.
And yes, you can build a great life and have a great future without the commitment. But generally speaking, it makes it easier to survive the inevitable rough stretches.
As for jokes, I've found that my marriage has been much much better since I learned to laugh at our minor and normal issues. And maybe that's another reason for marriage jokes; the problems are something of an experience we all go through and it is a good way to share?
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Best advice I was ever given was to stop chasing fine pieces of ass and find someone I truly respect.
I married a girl a bit older than me, an intellectual equal if not smarter than me, makes more money than I do and morally grounded without being a prude. We did date for 6 years, so I do still advocate for an extended debugging phase to make sure the final product is production ready 
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Lower taxes because you are married, anyone?
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