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... He asks the barman for "one whiskey ...................................... and one Coke".
"Why the big pause?" asks the barman.
...
"Dunno really, I was born with them".
(I'd get my coat, but ... lockdown ... )
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You're going to need an asbestos suit, not a coat.
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I had to read that twice in order to get the joke. Ugh. time to go back to bed.
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Slacker007 wrote: I had to read that twice in order to get the joke.
Did it end up being twice as funny? 
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Usually when you tell that joke, you open your hands in an "I don't know" way.
(Sort of that joke with Peter asking Jesus: What are you planning for this Easter? and Jesus stretches his arms wide out in a similiar way: Don't know - just hang around.)
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Once there was a one-armed fisherman who caught a fish this big -- and you hold out one arm.
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My friend does not get it.
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Seems that we have the same friend 
It does not solve my Problem, but it answers my question
modified 19-Jan-21 21:04pm.
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A beer is found in a bar...
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What would claws you to post that?
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Sure, you had to go and bruin my day!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Yeah, he had to go and be a major ursa-hole about it.
Software Zen: delete this;
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We developed a product.
It was really done in a bad way, by patching up resources from different teams.
I did not like it at all.
When I use it myself, I could see at least a dozen glaring issues.
Just because we couldn't allocate resources into bug fixes, even the basic bugs were left alive.
I had quoted an estimate of 2 weeks to give a final build (If someone's allocated for the bug fix)
BUT
The sales team tried the product in it's current state. Went straight to demo with the customer.
Now they've sold it. Customers are signed up.
They are using it, with all the bugs showing up randomly.
And even the customer says they are happy And waiting for the next build.
Strange. Totally different ideas. Now we are allocating resources to fix the bugs and make it good one.
I'm known for perfecting till the last bolt is tightened. I guess I'm a bad seller.
It's really a tough thought to sell a product with known bugs.
I'm just imagining how brave & courageous Bill Gates & Ballmer should have been. 
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If you have an innovative product, customers will put up with quality problems. Once your product has competitors and becomes more of a commodity, quality and cost become important.
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But ... a product - no matter how innovative and original - that is riddled with bugs gets remembered for the bugs, not the originality: when a competitor appears it's mentally compared against the buggy version, not the latest.
Remember the Frontier: First Encounters[^] debacle? A "premium product" so riddled by bugs that PC Zone illustrated it's review with a turd tied up in a pretty bow: even making it shareware couldn't shift the bug-fixed version.
It's a risk!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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True. The quality needs to be improved in subsequent releases, or the product will get displaced.
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Don't underestimate the importance of improvements!
If customers see that every new release has a good handful of significant improvements, they tend to accept those bugs and deficiencies that are not yet fixed, assuming that they will be taken care of in the next release. Or the one after that.
I have been working on products where we always had implemented and tested a few improvements that had been requested for some time, but we deliberately left them out of the current release - it had enough already. We had new release every few months, and those things we held back was to have an extra buffer just in case we ran into problems getting other functionality / fixes up for the next release - then we could throw in the reserve of improvements had on store. Customers found all our releases really worth the upgrade cost, even though there were still several unsolved problems.
There is a classical study, it must have been in the early 1970s, of the IBM OS-360, analysing the development over time: Over 36 (or was it 37?) releases, the number of known issues formed a marked sawtooth pattern: rising for 4 to 5 relases, then a major cleanup was done, and then a new sawtooth built up for 4 to 4 releases... But even after those major cleanups, the number of known issues was around one thousand. (That was one of the observations of the study: How remarkably stable this figure was over 36 releases.)
You soon learn to be pragmatic. Or, most of us do. Coming out from University, we believe that we can create perfect, error free software. No, we can't. We can just keep on handling one issue at a time, and thereby we all the time cause new issues.
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That seems shady to me at first blush, but it makes perfect sense, and if it leaves the customers happier than they would otherwise be who am I to argue? 
Real programmers use butterflies
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Member 7989122 wrote: If customers see that every new release has a good handful of significant improvements, they tend to accept those bugs and deficiencies that are not yet fixed, assuming that they will be taken care of in the next release. Or the one after that.
Then... what the heck are we still doing with Windows? 
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Windows gaining the required features, improving on the most used ones.
Snarky question: Did you turn off feature usage reporting yelling "Don't you dare spying on me, Mickey$oft!!!" ?
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Peter Adam wrote: improving on the most used ones.
Exactly... the icons
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Don't forget the acrylic effects!
Have you turned off spying?
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Not as much as I probably should
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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If this was 10-15 years ago this would 100% apply. We've been so Walmarted, conditioned to accept less than perfect because it's cheaper, that it's seeped into the software world and even into more expensive things.
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You better learn to think in use cases. If the customer is only using the solid parts of your product he is fine. He should never leave the "happy path".
Else he is doomed by the gods of software ... 
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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