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30-Jan-20 4:41

Does an agnostic, insomniac, dyslexic stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog?

"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

phil.o30-Jan-20 5:01

phil.o

30-Jan-20 5:01

11. You shall not bark.

"Five fruits and vegetables a day? What a joke!
Personally, after the third watermelon, I'm full."

Daniel Pfeffer30-Jan-20 5:45

30-Jan-20 5:45

Is a person into flagellation, necrophilia, and bestiality flogging a dead horse?

(I'll get my coat)

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.

Cp-Coder30-Jan-20 6:26

Cp-Coder

30-Jan-20 6:26

Quote:
(I'll get my coat)

Right! You are banished from the forum. Banished! Banished! Banished for ever! Laugh | :laugh:

OriginalGriff30-Jan-20 6:38

30-Jan-20 6:38

Not until we've searched his coat - he could have stolen CodeProject members in there!
Didn't you wonder what had happened to Death By Chocolate, Dalek Dave, Christian Graus, and Mike Martin? He may be trying to smuggle them out for a life of slavery on SmackOverdose.com!

"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

Daniel Pfeffer30-Jan-20 6:49

30-Jan-20 6:49

The contents of my coat pockets are:

1 Timex digital watch (broken)
1 unused tissue
1 soiled
Boots (black)
Belt (black)
1 black suit jacket
1 pair black suit trousers
1 hat (black)
1 pair sunglasses
$23.07

(Bonus Internet points for those identifying the origin of the list)

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.

Kris Lantz30-Jan-20 7:25

Kris Lantz

30-Jan-20 7:25

Is that a 4 str, 4 stam leather belt? $Shucks | :-\$

(World of Warcraft joke)

Daniel Pfeffer30-Jan-20 8:02

30-Jan-20 8:02

Just an ordinary black belt. Nothing to do with gaming or martial arts.

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.

jgakenhe30-Jan-20 8:38

jgakenhe

30-Jan-20 8:38

The Blues Brothers, 1980; those were the contents Jake Blues had when he was released from Joliet.

Daniel Pfeffer30-Jan-20 19:38

30-Jan-20 19:38

We have a winner!

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.

Michael Martin30-Jan-20 16:53

Michael Martin

30-Jan-20 16:53

OriginalGriff wrote:
Mike Martin

It's always Mick Martin.

Michael Martin
Australia

"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

W∴ Balboos, GHB30-Jan-20 10:56

W∴ Balboos, GHB

30-Jan-20 10:56

Let us paws and pray fur revelation.

Ravings en masse^
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010

DerekT-P30-Jan-20 10:57

DerekT-P

30-Jan-20 10:57

Not especially funny, but quite clever:
"A Christ is for life, not just for dogmas."

(Apols to those outside the UK who may not be familiar with the phrase, originally from an animal welfare ad, A dog is for life, not just for Christmas)

And no, that's not an invite to hijack this thread onto a religious debate Big Grin | :-D

OriginalGriff30-Jan-20 20:11

30-Jan-20 20:11

That's the short version - the longer one adds "With luck, there will be some left for Boxing Day"

"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

Does anyone know the correct terminology?

Roger Wright30-Jan-20 19:54

Roger Wright

30-Jan-20 19:54

Yes. And I can recall a long night when a few of us imbibed heavily of the ethanol and cannabis evil spirits, and by morning had contrived a perfectly viable religion rooted in the worship (and frequent treats as offerings) of a German Shepherd named 'King'. King was a talented dog, with an artistic bent. When we took him to the mountains for a bit of R&R, he would circle our campsite, evaluating the arrangement of inanimate objects. Then he would pick up a rock, look over the site, walk to a better location for the rock and deposit it there. This would continue for hours, as King skillfully rearranged the landscape to His liking.

In retrospect, I'm thinking that the pooch we knew as King was really a projection of a multidimensional demigod into three-space, much like Frankie and Benjy Mouse in the holy scripture of Deep Thought. In His full manifestation, King was probably arranging planetary systems in distant universes, in accordance with the principles of intergalactic Feng Shui.

Will Rogers never met me.

The pompey30-Jan-20 3:33

The pompey

30-Jan-20 3:33

Is it “for f*** sake” or is it “for f***s sake”

It’s for a work e-mail so it’s important I get it right as I want to sound professional

Herman<T>.Instance30-Jan-20 3:37

Herman<T>.Instance

30-Jan-20 3:37

Time to buy PoolParty! They know Semantics

In Word you can only store 2 bytes. That is why I use Writer.

phil.o30-Jan-20 3:43

phil.o

30-Jan-20 3:43

Please respect our host and use proper terminology on CP: for Chris sake!

"Five fruits and vegetables a day? What a joke!
Personally, after the third watermelon, I'm full."

Nagy Vilmos30-Jan-20 3:46

Nagy Vilmos

30-Jan-20 3:46

veni bibi saltavi

#realJSOP30-Jan-20 3:55

#realJSOP

30-Jan-20 3:55

Unless you're spelling it out, it doesn't matter because the second "s" is rendered silent. When in doubt, use the acronym - FFS.

".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013

kalberts30-Jan-20 4:01

kalberts

30-Jan-20 4:01

Does anyone have a clue about why elephant seems to be sailing up as the new euphemism for copulatory activities?

musefan30-Jan-20 4:04

musefan

30-Jan-20 4:04

I guess because you can still get that satisfying "FU!" sound... For eleFUnt's sake!

OriginalGriff30-Jan-20 4:14

30-Jan-20 4:14

It's because one of our esteemed Senior Members managed to get himself kicked off the site five times in a single weekend but to his "fruity" choice of language when having imbibed a fair chunk of Australia's alcohol production, and he was persuaded to use "elephant" and "sunshine" instead of the original obscenities. So much so that a new smilies were added: Elephant | [mastadon]

to help us all along.

"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

lopatir30-Jan-20 4:21

lopatir

30-Jan-20 4:21

I sometimes use "fire truck" - yeah longer but the relevant/correct sounds are there

after many otherwise intelligent sounding suggestions that achieved nothing the nice folks at Technet said the only solution was to low level format my hard disk then reinstall my signature. Sadly, this still didn't fix the issue!