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Reminds me of my fist contract, back in the 90s, remediate an Access daily report that was taking 25 hours to produce 
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity -
RAH
I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP
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1 second eh?
I wish someone would tell Virgin Media that. They have lightening fast broadband (well, at least download anyway), but one of the consistently slowest web sites I have ever encountered. Navigation is not particularly slick either.
It goes without saying
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My tolerance for how long a page takes to load is based on how important the page is to me.
(And wash out your mind with soap, what you're thinking isn't what I meant!)
So, CP, pages for paying bills online and checking my bank statement have considerable grace time. Pages for news articles don't, particularly as there is usually another link to try. My main goto for e-commerce is Amazon, and they are basically instant. Which is what they want, because the longer it takes for an e-commerce site to get to the "pay" button, the more chance of changing my mind. The "one-click" purchase was a brilliant move on their part to basically eliminate the pause, do I really need this, decision.
Latest Article - A Concise Overview of Threads
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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Make sure the static "html" piece loads lightning face, then use ajax to fill in the content that will take a bit longer due to DB access, etc.
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2 seconds is considered human real time. Anything shorter is gravy. Anything longer and our attention starts to wander.
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Users perceive "lag" after 100 ms.
Use asynchronous loading of "interesting" content ("buffering").
Search time tolerance is proportional to the objective.
Frequency of use is what dictates enhanced retrieval techniques (e.g. warehousing; BI ).
"(I) am amazed to see myself here rather than there ... now rather than then".
― Blaise Pascal
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Yikes! I just received notice that Windows 10 wants to restart...to install an update...and "improve" my experience.
Wish me luck! Be afraid, be very afraid.
I have my PC backed up and my fire extinguisher at the ready. Here's hoping its not the much dreaded Windows 10 "October" update. Oh no, please no, say it isn't so!
The notice was short on information. Windows Update is also a bit stingy with further information. Contradictorily, it informs me "You're up to date". The history is similarly uninformative, with regard to this notice.
I've read advice from Microsoft not to click "Check for Updates", which apparently triggers some Beetlejuice-like phenomenon...not going to risk that.
So, with this update, we travel once again into the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns.
Folks, this is scary stuff, I'm talking human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria kind-of-stuff!
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue 
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Eric Lynch wrote: Here's hoping its not the much dreaded Windows 10 "October" update
You're totally safe, it's Novem
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Perhaps, you're right. I may be over-sensitive...I'm still recovering from trying to use the three seashells
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Someone has been watching a lot of 80's movies on Netflix. 
When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain only felt by others.
Same thing when you are stupid.
modified 19-Nov-21 21:01pm.
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Sadly, no...simply having fun and remembering them decades later
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OriginalGriff wrote: Eric Lynch wrote: Here's hoping its not the much dreaded Windows 10 "October" update
You're totally safe, it's Novem
Logically speaking, then, it's an April Fool joke.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Unfortunately, for me, they didn't take quite that long to release it
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Eric Lynch wrote: I've read advice from Microsoft not to click "Check for Updates
That was in the early days of the 1809 update containing FUBARed code, and still available (prior to being pulled in early October); as long as you didn't actively seek it, you wouldn't have ended up with it.
1809's been re-released this last patch Tuesday after (we've been assured) being "thoroughly tested".
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dandy72 wrote: after (we've been assured) being "thoroughly tested".
It was indeed thoroughly tested, live in the field.
Back in early October ... 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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They tested it widely. It didn't pass, but it was tested. That's the Microsoft Way! 
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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An on-target quote...
Quality means doing it right even when no one is looking. — Henry Ford
And a not-quite-on-target quote that simply makes me chuckle...
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. — Donald Knuth
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I hate to tell you this, but it's still fubar'd! You might want to go read the release notes for it, here[^].
If you're running Trend OfficeScan, you need to install a "Critical Patch" for that before you even try to download the 1809 patch. If you don't, bad things will happen.
I especially love the part where you get a warning that "Mapped drives could not be reconnected" and they show up in with a red X on them. So, if you map and use network drives, you might want to hold off applying this update.
Running a Radeon HD2000 and HD4000? You're screwed.
Apple iCloud for Windows? Yeah, about that...
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Dave Kreskowiak wrote: I hate to tell you this
I wrote "we've been assured it's been tested."
I wasn't inferring I thought it was any better. 
modified 20-Nov-18 17:53pm.
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And the sad thing is, if it screws up and you lose data and/or productivity, there's no one you can sue.
Latest Article - A Concise Overview of Threads
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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If you're not feline well, do you need a purramedic?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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There there Kitty. We wont tell Paul you’re at it again.
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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Nah, if you're not feline well, suck it up, don't be a pussy 
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