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Nurse! Two decilitres Pentothal, please!
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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Shaken, not stirred.
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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That would be a nice glassfull of truth serum. 
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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To counter its effects it's sufficient to drop down before assuming it. Lying would cancel out the truth serum.
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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It would be better to lie about haven taken it.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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Tim Carmichael wrote: Shitake
I would prefer a shiitake, but de gustibus non disputandum est 
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Step away from the keyboard. Lay down on the floor, on your stomach, with your arms and hands outstretched above your head.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court. With these rights in mind, are you still willing to talk with me about the charges against you?
-- rants are the vehicle of the lazy and uninspired - JSOP 2/2018
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Slacker007 wrote: are you still willing to talk with me about the charges against you?
Positive!
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Here you go:
🍄
But you'll also need a:
🐍
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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In that case, we probably also need three more emoticons: A pen, an apple and a pineapple... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I have an 🍎
I have a 🖊
Uh,
🍎🖊!
I have a 🍍
I have a 🖊
Uh,
🍍🖊
🍎🖊
🍍🖊
🖊🍍🍎🖊
GCS d-- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L+@ E-- W++ N+ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5? X R+++ tv-- b+(+++) DI+++ D++ G e++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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LOL! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Is feudalism where it's your count that votes?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Well if you let everybody vote it wouldn't be just a 'feu' anymore - it would have to be alotalism - which is just silly.
I'm pretty sure I would not like to live in a world in which I would never be offended.
I am absolutely certain I don't want to live in a world in which you would never be offended.
Freedom doesn't mean the absence of things you don't like.
Dave
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Counts don't get to vote. They are too small a number and there are others who duke out the really big questions among themselves.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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Is it? I thought it was a shortage of... lentil soup.
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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not a picture without melting watches?
Signature ready for installation. Please Reboot now.
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Now look what you've done - you've made me hungry again.
/ravi
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Well, to kick off the "upgrade", the IT department updated their own computers over the weekend.
Chaos and comedy has ensued, as I predicted. Despite the positive outlook based on some dodgy compatibility evaluation software, 247 of the 250 machines were rendered immediately unusable due to driver issues, and they had to revert back to Windows 7.
I now predict that the command is going to miss the 31-March deadline - by a significant margin - for the completion of upgrade.
But wait! The fun will really start on 23 Feb when they start the upgrade for the rest of the command.
Did I mention that 3700 of the computers did not pass the compatibility evaluation? Knowing the clunkiness of government procurement process, and the lack of any money being set aside for so many new computers in the affected departments, I figure it's gonna be at least a YEAR before the upgrade process is complete.
I suppose that the only silver lining to all of this is that the new machines will come with Win10 on them already, so will be compatible by default. However, I see that going sideways on them as well when they replace the manufacturer Windows image with their own.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Good morning. Looks like you have finally woken up.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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Troll.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
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Allow me to remind you when you start crying about big bad haters again.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
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Upgrading from Win 7 to Win 10 gave you that much fuss? We don't have as many as you do but we had 100% success rate with only minor little details