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OK, so maybe I'm feeling a little bitter tonight about - well, lots of things really - but I get these emails from Bing Webmaster tools saying "Malware has been found on your site".
Like any paranoid site admin I jump onto it because I'm assuming malware == you cease to exist on our index. Thanks for playing.
So I click the link. It sends me to a page that's in 8pt font that says it's redirecting, then the message centre which says "Malware detected on codeproject.com". So I click the link and I get the news
"Bing Webmaster Tools detected 26 pages infected with malware"
So I click on the "more info" link it says
No malware was found on CodeProject.com
Site admins seriously need danger money for the stress search engines place on us. Make sure you add this tag. And this meta data. But not in this format, in the other. Now do this. Now stop doing that. Actually you should have stopped doing that 6 months ago because it's BAD. But no, we're not actually going to tell you because then you could game the system. And BTW, you're off our search index because one of your tags is improperly closed*. Now make sure your authors ref their Google+ profile or you'll be downgraded. Except we just cancelled that feature. And make sure your CSS is in a stylesheet and cached. Except it can't be external it must be totally inlined for mobile.
ARGGHH.
So anyway, it's no wonder my alcohol bill is steadily creeping up with each iteration of search engine algorithms. Anyone else have some fun stories to share?
*yes, this actually happened to us. 6 weeks of hell.
cheers
Chris Maunder
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Bing users don't deserve access to CP resources. Simples.
 (Tongue firmly in cheek) Peter
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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If Microsoft isn't careful they could wind up as the Sears of Software.
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Not web related but I once wrote a little auto run program which did some poking in the windows folder. Just a quick dirty something to reduce the symptoms of an issue a user had and it got flagged as potential virus.
Don't know how or why but added it as trusted manually, didn't think more of it because the week after I had the time to fix the main issue.
So far first and only time I've had an AV issue.
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Meanwhile, despite having written a 'key/mouse logger' (captured all user input and banged it to a remote computer via rs232 instead of writing to to a log file) I never had any grief from AV software.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Perhaps you did it so overt that any AV thought that no one with bad intent would ever make such an obvious program.
Did you run it manually as an admin? Try having it launch with autorun and see if any AV reacts, if you still have it that is.
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Sorry, I just had a good portion of freshly made lasagna and a glass of wine.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Roast chicken, sage and onion stuffing, hasselback potatoes, duchesse potatoes, peas, and gravy.
To heck with Herself's diet: I'm not feeling hungry for the first time in a fortnight! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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That also sounds great. After a famine, that must be like a banquet. I'm just having seconds on the wine and slowly get the urge to sing loudly in Italian. The problem is that I don't really know much Italian.
I need a program for the evening, like watching some carefully selected episodes of Star Trek with the projector. Or perhaps Game of Thrones. Do I have some popcorn?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Breaking Bad marathon?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I don't have that at hand. I might also watch something older. How about UFO, the complete series?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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With the purple wigs (and very tight outfits) on Moonbase?
ufo[^]
Haven't seen that for years, nay decades!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Yes, exactly that series. Did you know that this series was the inspiration for the UFO computer game?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I didn't!
But it was the inspiration for many things when I was young... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Oh yes, but I was far too young when the show was new. There was not only the spacy uniform of the girls at the moonbase. The ladies at SHADO headquarters had the tight suits and the uniform for those onboard the submarines revealed more than it hid.
Besides, the plots are ok too. The aliens did not go for the big invasion. instead, they tried to infiltrate, manipulate, sabotage, asassinate...
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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CDP1802 wrote: The problem is that I don't really know much Italian.
After drinking not even Italians know much Italian. Just go with the flow.
DURA LEX, SED LEX
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
When I was six, there were no ones and zeroes - only zeroes. And not all of them worked. -- Ravi Bhavnani
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OriginalGriff wrote: hasselback potatoes
Not the horrible Jamie Oliver version I hope.
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Gack! No *%#£ing way!
Marabel potatoes, sliced near through using a wooden spoon as a guide, melted butter brushed between each slice, topped with salt and loads of fresh black pepper.
Crispy, buttery, tasty...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I love potatoes in all forms! I also love the fresh-baked bread she-who-must-be-obeyed makes fairly regularly. Problem is, being diabetic, I have to seriously limit my intake of my two favourite things so I tend to go for quality over quantity these days! Ho hum. 
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Suddenly I got hungry again. 
Tip: add melted butter with a brush every ten minutes or so.
Slightly off topic. I 'd like some feedback on your Sous vide.
I know you've written about it already before, but I thinking of getting one now, and you've been using yours for a while now.
So your opinion should be "riper" now.
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I'll do something tomorrow - I'm on my tablet at the moment and it's so damn slow to type much (and don't get me started on autocorrect...)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Oops!
Over a month, and I haven't done anything... I'm terribly sorry, that's an inexcusable delay. 
Yes, I've had a sous vide for a couple of years: Sous Vide Supreme Demi[^] and we use it at least once most weeks.
It doesn't replace an oven - you can't do anything "crispy" in it, so roasties, hassleback, baked potatoes, pies, etc are all out.
But it does do some things brilliantly. Cheap cuts of meat come out juicy and tender, steaks are perfect, even turkey is edible! 
You need to invest in a good quality vacuum sealer and a stock of bag rolls - the ziplock ones are worse than useless. I started with the ziplock ones as I figured they could be reused and that's got to be better for the environment but ... it's next to impossible to get them clean once you've cooked in them as the embossed inside surface (which you need to get a good vacuum) clogs with juices and food and is too fine to clean well. And they don't hold the vacuum well for long either - couple of days only. The hot sealers (I have one of these: FoodSaver V2860[^] which is excellent, and I spend about £40 pa on bags. The advantage is that you can bag food in protions (two chicken breasts for example), vacuum seal it for the freezer, and it lasts much, much longer - about two years instead of 2 months becasue you are preventing bacterial growth by removing the oxygen it needs as well as slowing it's growth rate due to temperature.
It takes some work to get it right: different meats need different temperatures, and I still haven't found a temperature / time combo that works for legs of lamb - they all come out like slimy baby food.
But cheap beef joints, steaks, burgers, chicken, fish, and some fruits work really well. And I also use it as a "warming oven" to raise bread (at 30C it's the perfect environment for it).
You do need to sear the meat once it's out of the water bath, both to start something called the "Maillard reaction" and also give some colour, but that takes less than a minute.
Would I be without it? No, probably not. Should they be cheaper? Oh yes!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I'm not going to tell this to my wife three days before Christmas, I believe it's a bit late to further specify my hints.
But I have bookmarked it for later reference.
Thanks!
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OriginalGriff wrote: using a wooden spoon as a guide
Just hold the knife at an angle so the tip hits the board before it goes all the way though.
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Easier to use the spoon - you sit the spud in the bowl, and cut until the knife hits the spoon on both sides. Perfect cuts every time.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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