|
I hate all that code verification BS
|
|
|
|
|
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
A teenager asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?'
Granny replies, "f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"
Wife gets naked and asks hubby,
'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!
The wife's back on the warpath again.
She was up for making a sex movie last night, all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them.
It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.
But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"
I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked.
I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A Catholic boy in confession says,
"Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest," especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
|
|
|
|
|
Move to Soapbox
cheers,
Super
------------------------------------------
Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
|
|
|
|
|
Vivic wrote: I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
A little bit like this[^]
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
OK, I admit I laughed, I will go to hell.
Again.
|
|
|
|
|
And after all of that, "Dawn" still rated it 2/5. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
|
|
|
|
|
|
Boom Boom! 
|
|
|
|
|
Part of my morning routine is to czech out what's new on
[^]
He misses a day here and there, rarely two consecutively, but his last post was last Friday, the 7th - six days gone!
Is he on vacation, or...???
|
|
|
|
|
He said he was on vacation.
Per his RSS
Hello!
Just a quick note to let my readers know that I am on vacation this week. The Dew Drop will return on Monday, August 17th.
Cheers!
Alvin
Hogan
|
|
|
|
|
Ah, thanks, Hogan - the mystery is solved.
|
|
|
|
|
Years ago, I heard a joke as follows:
Three couples sat down to breakfast and started preparing their morning beverages.
One husband said to his wife, "Can you pass the sugar, Sugar?"
The second husband, "Can you pass the honey, Honey?"
The third, "Can you pass the tea bag?"
My wife has heard me tell this joke over the years.
For the last couple of weeks, she has been having tea at breakfast instead of coffee.
I heat her water, add a spoonful of honey and then the tea bag.
When I deliver it to her, I always include a small cup to place the spoon and spent tea in.
Last night, I walked through the living room, saw them lying there and took them to the kitchen.
Dumping the tea in the trash, I said, "You forgot the tea bag..."
And that's when the fight started...
|
|
|
|
|
Yup.
As a man, you can be right or you can be happy.
|
|
|
|
|
I don't believe as a man you can ever be right!
|
|
|
|
|
Wastedtalent wrote: I don't believe as a man you can ever be too right!
FTFY
|
|
|
|
|
Why is everything in my Documents folder and all subfolders suddenly Read-only?
It was fine in Win7 yesterday!
Word can create it's temporary backup when I open it, but I can't save it? For Elephants sake! 
"Applying attributes...About 2 minutes and 45 seconds remaining..."
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Whatever it is, is not normal Windows behavior.
Antivirus scan? Any weird process running?
|
|
|
|
|
dandy72 wrote: Any weird process running?
You mean, other than Windows 10? 
No. It looks like it's decided I'm not the user I was on Win7, but the user I log into as for my Microsoft account - despite that I used to log into my MS account from the win7 user.
And now it's not accepting my old account blank password, but insisting on my (very strong and difficult to type) MS account password. 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Rule 1. Never ever ever use a Windows OS till it is a year old. Surely you know that?
|
|
|
|
|
If a dinosaur is involved in a car accident, is that a Tyrannosaurus wreck?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
The Wreckiosaurus was driving.
And that's how Littlefoot's mother really died... 
|
|
|
|
|
I just hope the accident did very little arm to him.
|
|
|
|
|
Was he allosaurus the next day?
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
:groan:
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
Only one groan, I'm improving! 
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
