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Forogar wrote: BTW: I never yell when I am angry at someone. In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this - maybe because I am British and all Americans think we are all secretly evil masterminds per Hollywood stereotypes! Obviously, if you are an American this wouldn't work for you so the yelling (not in front of spouse and offspring) is probably the acceptable norm.
Jeremy Falcon
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Forogar wrote: In fact I do my best to not show my anger at all, I just make my point(s) in a quiet, calm manner. Some people have told me I am scary when I do this
Do you also twitch in one of your eyes and refer to 'Mother' when you do this? 
... as in [in a nerdy emotionless voice] "Mother always taught me" [eye twitch] " to be polite when people are bad to me" [eye twitch]...
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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I would have told him, "that as he already knows, what went up, must come down."
Plus, you have to consider, that being a common area, you all may be jointly liable if someone, probably a neighbourhood kid, injures themselves on it.
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Matthew Dennis wrote: Plus, you have to consider, that being a common area, you all may be jointly liable if someone, probably a neighbourhood kid, injures themselves on it.
Excellent point.
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This is one of many reasons I don't share! I know I'm reasonable  but I don't count on anybody else being so!
Hogan
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Yes. You should have asked him calmly to move it.
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Well, I don't know your neighbor and I don't know how often you go into your garden, but personally I'd "knocked" on his door and said something like
"That's a nice looking trampoline you've got there... Takes up a little space..."
See how he responds, perhaps at this point he already starts apologizing and asking if it's alright or else he'd take it away.
If he doesn't perhaps continue like "You know, it wouldn't hurt asking your neighbors if they'd mind such a large trampoline in their garden..."
He probably knows he's wrong, you know he's wrong, your other neighbors know he's wrong.
Nothing can really justify taking up all of your shared garden space.
But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him.
And now you're both wrong 
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The problem with that approach is that if it had a chance of working, the neighbour wouldn't have put up the trampoline without asking in the first hand. 
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You never know... At least you've tried to solve it friendly. If the neighbor refuses to take away his trampoline at least you're not the jackass for cursing at him.
And let's be honest, if someone shouts and curses at you like hell you're going to move your trampoline! You want him to move his trampoline and shouting and cursing is probably the worst approach to try and reach that goal...
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Half the reason I got upset is because he wasn't friendly about it at all, and it doesn't take much to get me going it seems. 
Jeremy Falcon
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Sander Rossel wrote: But now you've gone and made an ass of yourself, shouting and cursing at him.
And now you're both wrong
I know you're right man. I can't go back in time, but I'm gonna try to handle it the right way now at least.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: I can't go back in time
Grab a few beers, knock on your neighbors door again tell him you have some anger issues and that you're sorry and if he'd like to join you for a drink! That'll show him (no really, it's what he least expects)! After a few he might just move his trampoline too 
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Didn't say I was a coward either. I don't intend to make friends with people like that. I just made a mistake. I don't need to be his friend.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: Didn't say I was a coward either.
Admitting you were wrong is only for the bravest of the brave
Jeremy Falcon wrote: I don't intend to make friends with people like that.
You don't have to. You're just going to have a friendly talk with him, and a few beers, about his trampoline.
You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar and all that.
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Sander Rossel wrote: Admitting you were wrong is only for the bravest of the brave
I was wrong for the name calling, but I wasn't wrong about not being happy. He was wrong with that.
Jeremy Falcon
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Well, you know, be the better man and all that.
Perhaps I just have no spine, pride and honor. Which is really convenient when dealing with people though
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Put a cover over it that doesn't touch it but is only a foot above it! It is common space, right? Then he'll know how you feel! 
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Too late to undo the shouting and cursing, but as long as you weren't threatening he doesn't have anything he can come after you with.
Let's face it you are not going to be invited to his trampoline party or get a christmas card. Doesn't sound like someone who you would probably like to socialize with so there is no loss there.
The HOA route is the only way to go. They will probably come over to take a look and tell him to remove it because there has been a complaint.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
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JimmyRopes wrote: The HOA route is the only way to go. They will probably come over to take a look and tell him to remove it because there has been a complaint.
I hope. They don't seem to be terribly efficient in getting back to me, but we shall see.
Jeremy Falcon
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Jeremy Falcon wrote: They don't seem to be terribly efficient in getting back to me, but we shall see.
Be sure to remind them of the liability issue that they will be a party to if someone should seek compensation in a court of law for injuries sustained using the trampoline.
That should motivate them.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
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As a father, I wouldn't yell at another father with kids around, unless it was warranted and wouldn't want it done to me.
I think you definitely made the correct choice to speak to him man to man, but any hostility on you part may not have been acceptable.
Also, if you came knocking on my door and yelled at me, I would close the door in your face. If you pushed the issue I would be arrested for assault and battery, especially if my kids were around. Just saying.
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His kids weren't around. I'm not that cold man.
Jeremy Falcon
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I hear you. It also sounds that you were in a tough spot. Hope it all works out for you.
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Thanks man.
Jeremy Falcon
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IMHO, venting at the offender affords immediate gratification as it offers an outlet for one's anger or annoyance. But it usually makes things worse, not better. You may have gotten a better result by talking to the other neighbor and both of you quietly knocking on the offender's door and requesting him to move or take down the trampoline. The offender may still be a twit in your opinion, but at least a twit who responded to your request to remove the monstrosity from the common area shared with other neighbors. 
/ravi
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