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Cornelius Henning wrote: Perhaps I could permanently shut them up by saying it in German?
"Es"?
Not sure how that would help.
Welcome to the fourth grade, by the way.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: Welcome to the fourth grade, by the way.
What are you talking about? I never got anywhere near the 4th grade in German! I learnt my German from Kennedy: What is that quote again? ... Oh yes:
"Es gibt ein Berliner!"
Did I get that right? 
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Cornelius Henning wrote: "Es gibt ein Berliner!"
Did I get that right?
"There's a doughnut*"?
Well, if a doughnut is really there, then it's fine.
* "Donut" in blasted-colonial-speak.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: blasted-colonial-speak
I am sure Kennedy was speaking "high German", not some "blasted colonial" dialect! 
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*nostalgic sigh*
For breakfast in Germany, you get doughnuts (berliners) and paint-stripper coffee.
For breakfast in Italy, you get doughnuts (bomboloni) and paint-stripper coffee.
For breakfast in England, you get sausages, eggs, bacon, grilled tomatoes, black pudding, beans, fried bread, toast, and a cup of tea in a cracked cup.
WTF am I doing in the Netherlands, where the idea of a good meal is either a sandwich with one slice of cheese, or mashed potatoes with veg mashed into them (and not even fried)?
Something has gone very wrong with my life.
Plus side: My wife is Chinese, so she knows genuine Chinese food.
Minus side: My wife is an electrical engineer, so she knows bugger-all about cooking.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Quote: Something has gone very wrong with my life
I don't want to be a wise guy, but things could be a lot worse: You could have been trapped in a third world toilet like Zimbabwe! Instead you have a very intelligent wife who is an electrical engineer and you live on the European continent in a civilized country. I would place your standard of living above the 95th percentile on a global scale! Yes, things could always be better for all of us, but reflect on what you have against all possible alternatives. 
Also: How difficult will it be for you to move back to the UK?
modified 14-Apr-15 20:45pm.
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kmoorevs wrote: crystal reports ... It's been awhile since I flipped off and verbally assaulted the screen
At least since the last time attempting to use crystal reports.
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
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it's borderline spamming .. 
I'd rather be phishing!
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Time to modify your name to Not For Hire.
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There is a reason that many recruiters will want to Skype you though what you had sounds like one of the 'recruitment' companies that gets people and then finds jobs rather than has jobs and then finds people.
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Quote: sounds like one of the 'recruitment' companies that gets people and then finds jobs rather than has jobs and then finds people
I believe you just described all recruiters. At least all recruiters I had the misfortune to meet over the decades.
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No, most recruitment companies have jobs that need people. So an 'agent' will spend a lot of their time cold-calling businesses to get jobs on the books. They then try to find poor professionals like us to fill those jobs so always keep in mind that the agent works for the employer, not you.
There are, however, agencies that work the other way around. They try to get people and then find a job to put them in. There are a couple I know of here and, once I figured out what they were up to, won't talk to them. The reason being is that they will blanket call as many businesses as they can and try to push you in. So if you just happen to apply to that job through Dice or whatever, they may already know about you and you may find you have to go through that agent if you want to pursue it because they will send your resume without asking (as many do anyway). These 'agents' will still err on the side of the employer since, in every case, the employer is the one that pays them.
And yes, I am cynical about the whole business but it's just the way it works. 
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You obviously dislike recruiters and all the BS that comes with them - why not avoid them and find a job on your own?
Contrary to popular belief, nobody owes you anything.
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Mike Mullikin wrote: why not avoid them and find a job on your own?
A sensible response. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Because many companies only recruit through these agencies. Often times you don't know the name of the company - only a job description and recruiter contact info.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Coder For Hire wrote: Because many companies only recruit through these agencies.
I wouldn't want to work for a company like this anyway if that was a policy of theirs.
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Then you don't like working, because probably 80% of the companies posting to Indeed, Dice, Craigslist, etc, all use recruiters.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Coder For Hire wrote: Then you don't like working,
Well, put it this way, I'm 42 and I've never been out of work since I graduated from college.
I also don't have LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter accounts.
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My experience of jobs through recruiters is that the jobs I end up liking the most are the ones they are not keen on me going for.
In the past I have ended up in jobs where the recruiter makes the job sound like working as a suntan lotion massager on a beach exclusively populated by members of the opposite gender under 30 years of age.
While the job ends up being one of having to give Jabba The Hut a foot and toes massage with my tongue all day long 
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
modified 14-Apr-15 14:29pm.
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So, pretty much like this[^], then?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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GuyThiebaut wrote: n the past I have ended up in jobs where the recruiter makes the job sound like working as a suntan lotion massager on a beach exclusively populated by members of the opposite gender under 30 years of age.
While the job ends up being one of having to give Jabba The Hut a foot and toes massage with my tongue all day long
You should learn programming, then you'll never have to do that kind of work again.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I feel like I'm watching this on NetFlix. I've caught up on all 4 episodes in one day.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Trouble is, there's another 13 seasons to go. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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