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Jeeze.
Worst.Troll.Evah!
And not in the "good" way; you're really bad at it.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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no way! I will go forward with the bad things if you dont teach me the good ones 
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Fine, fine.
As you well know, or you wouldn't have asked, there are extensive tutorials on English grammar on my own site, here[^].
Go on, then. What's the next stage in your highly skilled troll attack?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Stopped, have to work now!
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Of course you do.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I doubt I'm the man you want to ask about better technique.
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[Bearing in mind that free advice is usually worth every penny you paid for it  ]
The only advice I could give is:
1. Follow the rules (if any) of the venue (for example, The Lounge should be kid-sister safe)
2. Know your audience
Having said that, in a group as large as Code Project you will always find someone who is offended by a joke, no matter how innocuous. If you wish to make jokes in such a forum, you also have to develop a thick(er) skin.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I liked your advices (seriously, not joke). Thanks.
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i think people are right... 
Programmer : A machine that converts coffee into code !
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sometime quality of jokes makes ppl laugh! 
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If you need a role model, take Lenny Bruce. That guy really knew how to get people's goat.
Cheers!
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!"
Ron White, Comedian
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Post your "jokes" on a site where it's not necessary to translate them into English...?
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Launge rule 7. Not everyone's first language is English. Be understanding.
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Member 9441074 wrote: Be understanding.
Understand that jokes are difficult to translate without losing something. Maybe, just maybe, that's why they fall flat.
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The most important thing is not to simply repeat/repost the jokes of others. Only post jokes/humor that you yourself devised.
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There are so many options today.. How can I select the best one???
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The "best" one is a course, run by a competent, "real human" tutor - because if you don;t understand something, they can spot it and explain it differently until you do. A book can't do that, a video tutorial can't do that.
Whatever you choose, always follow it from beginning to end - don't skip ahead because "I know that stuff", you will miss things that you need to understand in order to cope with later bits properly - and do every exercise no matter how simple it seems. Exercises "burn in" knowledge in a way that reading or watching a video doesn't.
And if you go with a book, avoid any with "in xxx days", multiple exclamation marks, or "for dummies" in the title.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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OriginalGriff wrote: avoid any with "in xxx days", multiple exclamation marks, or "for dummies" in the title
Now that is so true! 
You have just been Sharapova'd.
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Correct, such texts on books are just for the sake of publicity stunts. They do not actually teach you anything, they are just to provoke your inner programmer (no such thing) to make you pay $50 to the author. Once you have made the purchase, only thing you can do is rate if 1. You cannot claim a refund (unless allowed). 
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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OriginalGriff wrote: And if you go with a book, avoid any with "in xxx days", multiple exclamation marks, or "for dummies" in the title.
Oh yes. Then, the closest you can safely get to a quick intro is maybe the Head First series of books.
No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde
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OriginalGriff wrote: avoid any with "in xxx days"
I learnt WPF from one of those books - I did every exercise which was the key and I actually found that it was a fairly good book.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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It's the exception that proves the rule!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I had purchased a more technical book on WPF and I found it so confusing that learning from one of those '24 hour' books, which took me through how to write three applications, was the best way to go about learning something so different to anything I had done before.
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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I would agree to OriginalGriff, the easiest method is to learn from an institute, college or university. They teach you in a real manner as you need to be taught. A book, online tutorial (even by an instructor) can never guide you because they are general methods and can be used as helping material but they do not understand when you lag something, even the video has been recorded and the main key points that the instructor had in his mind were usually a survey result or some of the questions from Stack Overflow. This Microsoft Virtual Academy session (a great library for intermediates not for beginners) "Twenty C# questions answered[^]" is a source for the answers to questions on Stack Overflow. Trust me, I still don't understand how that Cryptography thing was completed. I don't blame them, they taught well. It was me, who had some other underlying problems so I will stick to practice part. I will practice, and practice, and practice until I accomplish it.
Secondly, even by learning from college you cannot learn until you try it at home. My friends at college do not try programming at home, I do. So I am better in programming than them. I do not try Mathematics at home, they do. So they are all better in Mathematics than me. Same teachers, same environment, same teaching hours. No practice, can make you forget everything. Try all of these,
- Learn under someone who is professional or expert -- teacher or instructor
- Practice what he teaches you when you get back home
- Do something of your own, like make up a question of your own and try to write it in software form. If it works, great. If it doesn't ask the same question to your teacher.
- Get some rest buddy. You will need it.
Keep learning, keep practicing. Um, also, do your homework yourself.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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