|
Now we are getting creative!.
Number "0" on the list.
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
To be sure you get the most out of it:
1. Put one or two of her favorite objects in your pocket
2. Smear some of the dust on your face/clothes
3. Presents the objects as 'survivors' at the first sign of lack of sympathy
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
|
|
|
|
|
Insurance job eh? I might like that.
Sympathy is not in her DNA however...
Neither sentimentality. 
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Andy_L_J wrote: is not in her DNA however...
You make it sound as if having double X chromosomes is some kind of genetic anomaly. That would really explain a lot.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
|
|
|
|
|
Do they have double X chromosomes? Sheit!
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: burn the house to the ground
Best idea ever!
|
|
|
|
|
That's two votes for an insurance job.
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Or try excuse that someone broke into the house last night and made a total mess of the interiour 
Hmm i wonder why its doing that......ARGHS NO STOP, ROLLBACK ROLLBACK...F*** That's how i learned to "Always Backup"!!
Dogs are man's best Friend,
Cats are man's adorable little serial killer
|
|
|
|
|
Tell her you are not able to live without her and show her the result (the dirty home) 
Maybe you'll keep your head then.
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
|
|
|
|
|
Ahhhh, the pity angle, may work although it's a long shot.
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Cant you get some cheap immigrant to give the place a tidy up?
|
|
|
|
|
Like your thinking Matt, however the "house-keeper" is attending other duties...
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Surely you can let her get to her feet for a few hours?
|
|
|
|
|
Do you have a nuclear shelter? Fill up the supplies, lock the door from the inside and don't come out until you run out of food or water. And don't forget to measure the radioactivity before opening the door.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
|
|
|
|
|
Possibly six feet down is as far as I'm gonna get!
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
You should tell her you invited your girlfriend who is a little messy to come over and stay with you, and that you were in middle of teaching her (the girlfriend) how to keep the house neat and clean. She (the girlfriend) has just started to pick those things up but she couldn't finish as she (the wife) was back.
You should then politely request her (the wife) to spend a few more days away while she (the girlfriend) can finish with the learning, so next time when she (the wife) returns from vacation, she (the wife) won't find the house messed up. 
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
|
|
|
|
|
Agent__007 wrote: You should tell her you invited your girlfriend...
You don't like me very much do you!
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Call a cleaning company: offer them / him / her significant cash to have it ready by tonight.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
Can't be arsed - I'm off to the pub for my dinner.
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Andy_L_J wrote: I know I am in for a Sh*t storm
Buy more toilet paper.
|
|
|
|
|
Don't you have a big carpet somewhere?
If you don't have that... you are doomed[^]...
|
|
|
|
|
Camouflage netting....
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
I would attempt to fake amnesia..
then when she enters scream at her who are you and why are you here etc..
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
|
|
|
|
|
If I drink everything in the bar that might actually work!
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
"I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexia. Fcuk!"
Driven to the arms of Heineken by the wife
|
|
|
|
|
Get all her friends to come to the house to greet her, then blame them for the mess, after they've left.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
