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From an old Usenet quote:
"Some scientists say that the brain is like a computer. If that is true, then there are no stupid people; only a few running DOS"
I'm sure we could come up with a more contemporary version...
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Reality - the font is too small. I can't read it.
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I am a figment of my own imagination 
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How can you be sure, you might just be imagining that
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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 I never thought of that!
Now I'm worried ... unless... perhaps I could imagine myself into a better job ... I'm going to work on that 
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LSD or magic mushrooms might help
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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My take on this is that reality is not a helpful term as it reifies what are essentially experiences or phenomena that are temporary and ever changing.
Perhaps a better explanation is that how I interpret my perception gives me a view of the world I live in.
On a more important point, I now have the munchies - can anyone recommend a good snack.
(I had better put down the pipe and get back to work)
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Avijnata wrote: During a dream, my mind creates a new universe and passes me through some events, circumstance
No, it doesn't.
A dream is the bit of your nightly defrag and re-compression of existing memory data that is run through your perception centres for one of several possible reasons (probably including some we haven't thought of, yet).
There's nothing mystical about dreaming; it's a data-storage function.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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"Reality is a crutch for those who can't handle Science Fiction"
-- some great mind with a better memory than I
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Almost made it on time! Raining like a very rainy thing here today...
Said, strangely, to be very quiet and soothing, yet ultimately a bit of a letdown (14)
Good luck!
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"Disappointment"?
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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from the pp and ointment I'm thinking you have it
but whee does DISA come into it?
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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oh! silly me! Said anagram thereof!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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Winner! Very fast, epsecially for a Monday!
Your turn tomorrow.
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I liked that one - even if I didn't get it first!
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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An Engineer was unemployed for long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: "Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000."
One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic.
Doctor: "I have lost taste in my mouth."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "This is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money.
Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Engineer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!"
Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."
Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000."
Doctor: "But this is $500..."
Engineer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is SILENCE, the second is LISTENING, the third MEMORY, the forth, PRACTICE and the fifth is TEACHING others!
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Now, this is one engineer joke I never heard (and still I didn't because I read it) 
Geek code v 3.12
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- r++>+++ y+++*
Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
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Wanted saying this joke surfaced on a Nigerian blog days back then I saw the name!
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The question I have is how do you cure engineers of Excel?
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Two sharks swimming in the ocean come across a group of survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son. Today I will show you the correct way to eat humans" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the group of people floating in the water.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with full fins showing." And they did.
“ Now, every few seconds we pop out of the water, open our mouths and let them see our teeth” And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they had both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why do all this? Why not just eat them?"
Said the wise papa shark,
"Because they taste better when there is no sh*t inside them!"
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Sick... but funny.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Oh my god!
Leslie Nielsen was the father shark!
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And the son was probably Leonard Nimoy. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Movie Quote Of The Day
cavorting with nefarious characters
Which movie?
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