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Sadly no, I have never been to Bristol. However, I am no Henry Higgins and I should avoid commenting on the way others speak English.
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Henry Higgins be damned, if there's no L, then there's no L!
Even the place name used to be Bristowe; even Somersetonians don't do that. I think excess Welsh Ls (that have lots of them) have been slipping across the Severn estuary for centuries.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Your second name wouldn't be Llewellyn, would it? 
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No, but it is David, so I might have a Welsh connection. I do spell it David and not Taffyd (they love their Fs too!), but I'm pretty sure there's no Hebrew influence in my family tree.
Maybe you're thinking of Lloyd Llewellyn from Llangollen?
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Ideal, Gurt Lush(?), Cortinal (Ford Cortina) the list goes on, the locals call it Brizzle the rest of us just want to smack them and tell to talk English...
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I always understood Gurt Lush to mean "Great, luscious", but who knows with "they Brizzles".
I lived in Ashley Down above the offie we owned and later, Cadbury Heath, and ended up working at Science Systems in Brislington. Our favourite pub was the Chequers at Hanham, right on the river.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Quote: Science Systems in Brislington
Ahh they have changed to SciSys haven't they I know a couple of people who work there, I was at Xed in Brislington. Small World huh? 
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I guess! 
Is Mike Love still in charge at SciSys? I doubt it, he has probably long retired
(I was there in the mid 90s). I loved working there, it was the hardest part of leaving the UK and Mike mooted me setting up a Science Systems branch in Canada. I continued to support my last project there from here for a year or so. Great people and great work environment ... and wotalot of programmers!
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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is (was) he Dr. Love if so he got shifted to Bath office about three years ago. If my name was Love and I had a phd, I would have to phone people with the line 'Doctor Love calling'
Too many Barry White puns....
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Yes, Dr Mike Love!
He used to be the main shareholder (he founded the business with one other guy, I believe). Most of the staff seemed to be a bit intimidated by him, but I just treated him like anyone else. I had him roaring with laughter in one meeting over some toilet humour. The other attendee looked like a deer in the headlights!
They didn't have an office in Bath then, but that would be closer to Mike Love's home. He lived south of Bath, near Bradford I think - I went to his house once.
Other names I remember:
Kate - head of HR
Terry Evans
Andy White
Paik Sun Green (not sure of the spelling)
James Ritchie
Liz Molyneux
Colin Timpson
It would be neat to know if any of them are still around. If your friends know any of them, please pass on my regards.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Will do next time I see Christina or Mark, I seem to remember some bit of gossip about Andy White get head hunted... It truly is a small world! 
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Thanks Glenn, it is. You started me on a web search. It was Chris Timson (not Colin Timpson), my memory is going (creeping senility).
Mike Love is still non-executive Chair. The SciSys website doesn't make it easy to find names or contact information apart from directors. A few names ring bells, but it might be that they are those sort of names.
I'm fairly easy to find on fb and LinkedIn. Feel free to pass the info on.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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Will do! next time I see them...
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Because self-deprecation is the highest form of wit 
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A colleague of mine was driving to work a couple of weeks ago and whilst waiting for a light to change noticed something on the pavement that looked like a small package. He nipped over, and it was a sealed jiffy bag with no address of anything else written on it.
So obviously he picked it up, hoped it would be stuffed full of used bank notes, got back in his car and went on his way.
The contents, when finally he checked?
A single pair of women's underwear, no tags, no obvious sign of recent soiling.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Once again, from me: 
Explosive article on wand, utterly has little meaning. (9)
Good luck!
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
modified 3-Mar-15 4:09am.
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POINTLESS ?
A wand is a pointy stick for pointing at things/people do to things. Can't figure out the rest though 
Edit: oops. double posted...
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Nope, sorry.
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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[EDIT:] That's not (9)!
Life is too shor
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11 ? Shall it not be 9 ? Or doe the brackets count ?
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bombastic
bomb
a
stick (utterly -> stic)
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Sadly, this has little meaning.
Oh, wait...
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You have got it, Sir! 
You are up for tomorrow.
Your time will come, if you let it be right.
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As is customary, I will post the clue at a civilised time - 1230 UTC (although it will still be a very uncivilised time for me).
You guys really need to start solving these before I wake up... 
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