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Some more whimsical than others.
Quote:
- 4 lawyers = 2 paralegals
- 2 untruths = 1 paralyze
- All perjured testimony in a gov't coverup = 1 scandalize
- 33.8 oz of a case of soft drinks = 1 liter of the pack
- 1 first-date kiss = 1 peck
- 1 french kiss = two tongues of fun
- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = 1 Eskimo Pi
- 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
- 1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope
- Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle
- Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong
- 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
- 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
- Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
- 1000 aches = 1 megahurtz
- Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
- Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
- Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
- Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
- A half bathroom = 1 demijohn
- 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
- The first step of a one-mile journey = 1 Milwaukee
- 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
- 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
- 365.25 days = 1 unicycle 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
- 10 cards = 1 decacards
- 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
- 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
- 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
- 1 trillion bulls = 1 terrabull
- 1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo
- 10 rations = 1 decoration
- 100 rations = 1 C-ration
- 10 millipedes = 1 centipede
- 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
- 10 monologs = 5 dialogs
- 5 dialogs = 1 decalog
- 2 monograms = 1 diagram
- 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
- 2 wharves = 1 paradox
- 100 Senators = Not 1 decision
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At uni we developed the pint scale:
Volume 1 Pint = 1 pint (of beer)
Time 1 Pint = 20 mins - an average of how long one of our friends took to drink a pint in an afternoon session
Distance 1 Pint = 1 mile - How far said drinker could walk in 20 mins/1 pint.
This also gave the rather gratifying result that average walking speed was 1 pint pint-1 (1ppp). Metric system be damned!
Alberto Brandolini: The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.
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Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote: 1000 aches = 1 megahurtz
That is 1 kilohertz!
Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote: 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million microphones = 106 * 10-6 phone = 106 - 6 phone = 100 phone = 1 phone
Bassam Abdul-Baki wrote: 1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo
Neither of the the two interpretations of billion will satisfy that:
X * 106 * 10-12 los = 109 los
X * 106 - 12 = X * 10-6 = 109
X = 1015
Your definition of billion is 1.000.000.000.000.000? Interesting!
"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability!"
Ron White, Comedian
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I have something similar to that (from the 80s?) -- my favorite is: 1 millihelen = the amount of beauty required to launch one ship.
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That was whimsically delicious.
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Remember the frustration created by Windows Vista? Windows 7 saved the day. The user experience of Windows 8 may not be as bad as Vista but is not as positive as Windows 7 either. Is Windows 9 going to save the day?
TOMZ_KV
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For Microsoft's sake, I damn well hope so... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Even 5 years ago, no one would expect to see today's Microsoft.
TOMZ_KV
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What running around madly like a headless chicken with little or no idea of what it's going to do about the competition?
No, you're probably right.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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It is a historic moment for Microsoft shifting from software to devices & services. Windows phone has not been doing well so far. Apple experienced the transition years ago and did well.
TOMZ_KV
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I can see where they would want to: but they made the usual MS mistake of ignoring existing users.
If they had run "devices" and "software" as separate divisions instead of trying to force incompatible environments together into one it could all have been very different. And probably a lot more successful.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Microsoft was able to recover in the past. See how it goes this time with Windows 9.
TOMZ_KV
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Tomz_KV wrote: Apple experienced the transition years ago and did well.
There were a couple important differences with Apple:
1. Apple was ALWAYS a hardware company.
2. Apple had hit rock bottom in sales, market share, profits...
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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Good points. Microsoft is doing hardware now: Surface tablet & Windows phone. It is a question if Microsoft is able to catch up.
TOMZ_KV
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Don't think of them as bad and good... Think of them as Beta and RTM.
Windows Vista was a Beta product, and Windows 7 was the RTM version.
Windows 8 is the next Beta, and Windows 9 will be the RTM.
Microsoft has just gotten a little confused in recent years... They can't tell the difference between an end user and a beta tester anymore.
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So we'll never have a real Windows. 
TOMZ_KV
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Ian Shlasko wrote: [Micro$oft] can't could never tell the difference between an end user and a beta tester anymore ever.
FTFY 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
I would agree with you but then we both would be wrong.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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How do you define recent years?
To me it seems that they have always done that.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: How do you define recent years?
To me it seems that they have always done that.
Yes they have. 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
I would agree with you but then we both would be wrong.
The report of my death was an exaggeration - Mark Twain
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
I'm on-line therefore I am.
JimmyRopes
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Tomz_KV wrote: ot as positive as Windows 7
Windows 7 and Xp were almost identical. Win8 would also have had a great reception if it had been a clone of Win7.
People demand new but do not like changes, that's it.
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Interesting enough that Microsoft likes to change graphic interface drastically more than the functionality.
TOMZ_KV
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What pleases the eye...
~RaGE();
I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus
Entropy isn't what it used to.
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Exactly; improvements to the underlying kernel and such should not require such a change in the Interface.
I'd prefer the Windows 3 Interface on top of the current Operating System -- combining the two (OS and UI) is not a good idea (in my opinion).
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PIEBALDconsult wrote: Exactly; improvements to the underlying kernel and such should not require such a change in the Interface.
Everyone sees it but Microsoft. Hard to believe.
TOMZ_KV
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People usually don't demand very much at all. Mickeysoft usually tries to tell everybody what they should demand so that they have a reason to release a new version.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
I hold an A-7 computer expert classification, Commodore. I'm well acquainted with Dr. Daystrom's theories and discoveries. The basic design of all our ship's computers are JavaScript.
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