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Marc Clifton wrote: I also have at least one interesting personal side project that keeps my mind and soul happy
Same here. I've got two roles at work: principal UI developer on our products, and the DSJB: Departmental Sh*t-Job Boy. My side project, however, is an in-house tracing tool we use. I keep a list of new features, bug fixes, and so on for it. Whenever I need a break from the day-to-day grind, I work on the tracing tool a bit.Marc Clifton wrote: I have a cat. Provides a lot of entertainment and fun (so does the gf, but not in the same way as the cat.)
I will forego the obvious and puerile pun for this observation: cats are  .
Software Zen: delete this;
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Gary R. Wheeler wrote: Whenever I need a break from the day-to-day grind, I work on the tracing tool a bit
Ah so that is what my code generator is, a side project for when I need a break from drudgery.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Thanks Marc,
I've experimented with staying away from different foods, but it doesn't seem to matter. I wish there was a safe drug that just zapped away the metal clouds. I rarely ever drink alcohol by the way, because I hate how it makes the mental clouds even thicker. Uppers like caffeine doesn't help either, except cocaine, but that would ruin my health pretty quickly.
It's very clear that I should get out of software development, but I just don't know of anything that is as exciting.
Bjorn
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Hi Bjorn,
If you have mental cloudiness and found that cocaine helped then you might want to check out adrenal fatigue and how to fix it.
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I'm very suspicious of stuff that's not accepted by science, and adrenal fatigue one of those things. But thanks for the concern.
Bjorn
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Marc Clifton wrote: Cloudy mind - I discovered a while back that drinking soy smoothies was affecting my mental clarity.
Not having a clean source of *healthy* carbs will do that. That's why the b vitamins help, so will some starchy veggies like carrots and potatoes. Just don't overdo it.
Also, one of the things that really helped me was to give up caffeine. That sh*t is pure evil.
Jeremy Falcon
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Stop people pleasing and have boundaries. At the end of the day you career suffers more from burnouts than it does from not having them if it makes any sense.
We are our own worst enemies at the end of the day. The difference between you (having burnouts) and the next person (not having burnouts) is you.
"Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to show their absence."
<< please vote!! >>
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bjoernen wrote: I'm curious to learn how others dealt with it
Seriously? Religion.
Divine healing + omnipotent being caring for your future = no stress
It's free, but it's not cheap.
Still, there are amusing moments:
"You missed the deadline!"
"God is in control."
"The client's not happy."
"Well, that's because he's not a Christian. Christians rejoice in trials."
People at work aren't sure how to treat me, since I have no stress even if overloaded, or if urgent problems arise.
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I do believe you. I would be religious if I could, and probably happier, but my brain isn't wired that way.
Bjorn
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Any kind of mental effort makes me tired very quickly, and my mind is constantly "cloudy" without ability to think very clearly
I get this a lot, I thought it was just part of not being young any more.
It sounds like you need some way of knowing when to stop, either a partner who will enforce 'no more than X hours/day' or some kind of deliberate routine whereby you stop at 5pm and don't touch 'work' again that day, even if you 'want' to carry on.
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The first time I burned out I started my own business as a fishing guide.
About five years afterwards, money starting getting tight, so I took what I thought was going to be a temporary gig writing software again. I loved this temporary gig so much that I became the team lead - and they pay me pretty good too.
Perhaps, it's just a change of scenery and perspective you need. It worked wonders for me.
"I am rarely happier than when spending entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand."
- Douglas Adams
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After 30+ years in software development, I can honestly say, the day you retire, and become a greeter at Walmart, is when you recover from burnout!
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Hi Bjorn,
Some suggestions of things to try:
1. Remove Nutrasweet from your diet. Many people are allergic but don't realize it. Maybe 12%+. I'm highly allergic to it. Gives me severe headaches. It is chemically similar to rattlesnake venom.
2. Remove all artificial sweetners and additives from your diet. They often cause all sorts of weird problems.
3. Try rotating different food groups into and out of your diet each week. I have a theory that some people have difficulty metabolizing certain proteins, amino acids, etc. and suspect that because they are not properly metabolized they then act to in effect toxify a person's metabolism.
4. Check for some sleeper type infections/problems such as Lyme disease which is often misdiagnosed.
5. Have a heavy metal and toxic compound screen. You might have been exposed to some in the past. And it can take many years before the symptoms manifest.
6. Check for severe sleep apnea. Do you wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason? Do you have trouble sleeping? Your biological clock may also be out of wack with the normal day-night cycle on this planet.
7. Pushing your body beyond it's limits will cause it to complain more and more. Determine where you need to be to stay within your body's limitations and develop a daily/weekly schedule to remain in that zone.
8. Learn to meditate. Helps the body with stress. Almost any method is good to start. Zen is one of the best but is also the hardest. But well worth it.
9. How much time do you spend in Nature? The body came from Nature and needs regular communing with it.
10. Experiment and determine what activities cause more symptoms (may be days later) or less symptoms. Then avoid those that cause and do more of those that nurture.
I'm not sure that you have burnout. Sounds more like your body is over stressed and thus complaining. And needs to heal. Burnout typically occurs during prolonged high stress, low sleep, bad diet, no exercise, no Nature periods when the body becomes exhausted and the adrenal glands and other hormones become exhausted. Best recovery procedures are to withdraw from the combat situation and rest and recover. If you find that a vacation really helps then this is highly likely that it's burnout/over stress.
Best wishes,
- Grant
PS: If you find that you can concentrate on certain things without headache and symptoms but not on some things like programming then it's probably psychological burnout where you're really sick and tired of the same old thing and need some changes in what you do. You can take some classes that interest you and that will hopefully lead you to something better. Good luck.
- Cary Grant Anderson
www.CaryGrantAnderson.com
www.CGrantAnderson.com
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Thanks Grant,
Those are all good suggestions and I have tried most of them. The funny thing is that I look about 10 years younger than I am from taking good care of myself so long, but my brain seems totally messed up beyond repair.
Bjorn
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I showed your post to my wife who instantly said - "Thyroid".
My wife has the symptoms of mind being cloudy, inability to think clearly and inability to exert mental effort as well.
In her case she doesn't have a thyroid gland (cancer) and has to rely on medication.
These symptoms appear when the thyroid is too low.
Perhaps you need to have a thyroid test.
Good luck.
Murray
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Thanks Murray,
Yea I did, and my thyroid is fully functional.
Bjorn
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We routinely solve problems that others don't even know exist. We have performed a miracle but we are perceived as having simply carried out a task. This leads to lack of appreciation that we try to rectify by performing yet more miracles. We become quite good and seek to prove this by taking on something truly large and complex. We drive ourselves into it on the basis that we can see that it can be done and how. We then work relentlessly to realise our vision and we are in trouble. We are now constantly compensating for complexity that we didn't anticipate by trying to get the extra work done unseen. We shoulder this extra burden because we want to see our vision realised and prove that it will work. While you are immersed in this it quite likely that some of your colleagues may be moving against you. They may resent your intention to produce a spectacular miracle that could overshadow their work or the freedom you may have been given to burn yourself out at home and you haven't been devoting much time to office politics recently.
Our enthusiasm combined with a wish to please and be appreciated get us into trouble. You have to let enthusiasm flow when it is there but we should be very measured about our wish to please and be appreciated.
Ideally I like an intense project of about 4 months and then 8 months rest. That way, each project is fresh and new.
It is important to understand that skills don't rust. You can take a long break and they will still be there but you may find that you now make more mature use of them.
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I can totally relate to this John. Before my second burnout I was in a high profile project, and one of the key people there. As I hit the wall, people had a hard time believing me, as if I was making this up. "You left the project at crunch time, that's not fair to the team". Some people to this day still think I was traitor. I was even fired for this, although they didn't explicitly say it, because it would have been illegal.
"We couldn't see that your had any problems". "It was not showing on you, you looked just normal". Funny how people suddenly become expert psychologists when something like this happens, and disregard my early warnings as laziness. I have never met a person who works harder than me (and that's of course part of the problem).
The last day I worked, I couldn't even put letters together to form words anymore. I would see b, o, o and k, but could not compute that it said "book". Then followed nine months of rehabilitation before I was somewhat ok again. No need to feel sorry for me personally, I'm happy right now. But I wish that other people afflicted with this are taken seriously.
Bjorn
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Hi Bjorn, thanks for your reply.
I think that what all enthusiastic programmers must realise is that you have to plan your own rehabilitation and do it your own way. It is very difficult to do this as an employee because superhuman efforts are not recognised (are even resented) and daily drudge is required relentlessly.
The only time I have felt decently paid and decently treated is on short term contracts of 3 to 4 months with a specific goal for which I have taken personal responsibility. The saying of contractors is “Take the money and run” but it is more like “Perform the miracle and run” and that suits me. Workplace environments are typically so dysfunctional that any success simply breeds suspicion and resentment. I have found that the certainty that my stay is not permanent leaves everyone concerned a lot more comfortable.
I have just finished 8 years of permanent employment in Spain. Despite some very successful projects it finished badly. I think they were becoming uncomfortable about the inevitability of having to give me credit for what I had done. Now it is time for my rehabilitation and I am looking forward to it.
I do think that regular office bound employment is no place for a good creative programmer.
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What the others said: self-employment.
That; and Zen Buddhism: thoughts are only thoughts; obsessing over them is where the problems start. You are not your thoughts.
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Backpacking. This allows me to go where Verizon doesn't. 
Seriously though, in addition to Backpacking I really do turn my cell phone off every few weekends and just take a me day. I garden to relax.
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It may be medical Bjorn.
I started getting similar symptoms to you (not the ants on the forehead tho) and "self-diagnosed" sleep apnea, and had tests done. Sure enough, it was.
You can't cure it, but you can minimize the symptoms dramatically with drugs and devices.
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Strangely, I have never had problems sleeping, even in the burnout periods. So I don't think this is the case for me.
But out of curiosity, what medication has helped you? Sleeping pills?
Bjorn
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Well, its a bit technical. I thought I was sleeping well. My wife complained that I snored. Who doesn't snore?
But that snoring is actually an artifact of the apnea giving me dozens of, basically, very small heart attacks each night. In the morning I would awake exhausted.
It is caused by the collapse of parts of the airways (mostly the back of the tongue) when your body "relaxes" on falling into sleep.
I wear "clackers" at night. Like mouthguards for sports, except they keep your lower jaw in a forward position, to stop the tongue flopping back.
And I have a monitor on the back of my neck that vibrates (just like a cell phone) when I roll onto my back (which is the "most harmful" position). It also keeps a log of brain activity and stuff that the doctors like to see.
And during the day I take Modifinal, which cures the mental fog amazingly well.
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I haven't suffered a burnout as such and I don't have the physical symptoms you have but I regularly become stressed through my work patterns unless I monitor it carefully. I have pattern of staying at the keyboard (i.e. don't leave the seat) working on a single task all day if not interrupted. I almost always end up staying back in these cases so I can work undisturbed. Doing this over multiple consecutive days invariably results in getting physically run down. This didn't used to be the outcome, but now I'm 47 about 2-3 weeks of this is all it takes before I come down with some kind of illness.
The big problems with this:
* like most people my actual productivity plummets when I work in this mode
* when I have the most to do (ie under the most pressure) I am least likely/able to break out of it
At the micro level I found the Pomodoro technique very, very useful. It helps me get focus and makes it easier to manage my time before I get into "hyperfocus mode". As above, when I most need this I am least able to make myself enforce it, but it helps.
At the macro level:
* walking the dog at least 5-6 days a week. I do it in the mornings before work. The dog needs to get out, and 20 mins daily exercise drastically changes my outlook.
* meditation has had a major change in my outlook. Again the challenge is putting aside the time and keeping it regular, but it's greatly enhanced my ability to keep my life in balance.
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