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Well done, Google Translate...? 
Or is that Griff hard at work? 
Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike... me...
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Errrrrrrrm... New Zilland is not "down under" broo...
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True but he got the stupid bit right.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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OK OK it was a hint for the 'mericans so they would know roughly on the map where to look.
PS We're further down than you lot. So there. And it's "bro", what the hell is a "broo"? 
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Mark H2 wrote: PS We're further down than you lot. So there. And it's "bro", what the hell is a "broo"?
Have a goof listen to your accent.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Ouch. I've almost lost the Aussie one I cultivated while living in Melbourne a while back.
Have a Fosters, no, make that a Swan Lager, on me.
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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ROFL... welcome to the party... we have chips, dips, chains and whips!!
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What, no fush?
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Yeah, maybe that should have been chups, dups, chains and whups!!
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Or from where I'm standing cheeps, deeps, chains and weeps
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal
'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - US.Air Force Manual
'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur
'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual
'Tracers work both ways.' - Army Ordnance Manual
'Five second fuses last about three seconds.' - Infantry Journal
The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. - Basic Flight Training Manual
'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.' - Naval Ops Manual
'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Infantry Recruit
'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.' - Infantry Journal
'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.' - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops
'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' - Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)
'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.' - Unknown Author
'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.' - Fixed Wing Pilot
'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.' - Multi-Engine Training Manual
'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.' - Unknown Author
'If you hear me yell"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echoes. If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.' - Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot
'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.' - Sign over Control Tower Door
'Never trade luck for skill.' - Author Unknown
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and'Oh S...!' - Authors Unknown
'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.' - Basic Flight Training Manual
'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding you or doing anything about your problem.' - Emergency Checklist
'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.' - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.' - Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ
*************************************************
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.
The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'
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A lot of them I never heard. 
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Some of them I'v lived.
Dave.
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Vivic wrote: Reply | View Thread | Permalink | Bookmark | Share on Facebook | Share on Linkedin
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I always thought the most useless thing in an aircraft was 'ten seconds ago'.
Also-
A superior pilot is one who uses his superior judgment to avoid situations which would require the use of his superior skill;
There are old pilots, there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots.
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I read this in a book some years ago...
If your engine fails at night, descend to one hundred feet and turn on your lights.
If you don't like what you see, turn off your lights. There is no point spoiling the last ten seconds of your life.
I may not last forever but the mess I leave behind certainly will.
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"A superior pilot is one who uses his superior judgment to avoid situations which would require the use of his superior skill"
That assumes that one gets the chance to use one's superior judgment.
A friend, who is a CFI (Certified Flight Instructor), and his student pilot were in straight and level flight when they were involved in a crash that cost the student pilot her life and my friend spent over a year in the hospital and rehab. They were hit from behind by a much larger and faster aircraft which disabled the elevator and rudder of their aircraft rendering it uncontrollable and unflyable.
Due to the subsequent actions of the pilot of the other aircraft I will simply say he was insufficiently punished for what he did.
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Reminds me of the time way back when....an Auster with no radio decided he'd fly circuits and bumps faster than anybody else. He overtook me in my Beagle Pup, then ate all the Cessnas. The Tower lost the plot, the instructors lost the plot.
I decided to get down as quickly as I could.
Firstly I straightened out ATC by telling them which planes were where, and when the cretin in the Auster was on finals they fired off a flare - which he ignored. Then as we all piled up on finals, I flew two orbitals, right and left.
Finals full stop. Got off the runway. ATC thanked me.
Of course my instructors were listening in on the ground.
Did they congratulate me?
Did they f**k.
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Isn't "If you can't remember which direction the Claymore is pointed in...." usually in this list too  .
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That's why they have "Front Towards Enemy" printed on them, with sights to accurately aim the barrage 
Phil
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Is dat printed on what looks to be the back or the front?
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A number of them came from military sources. I thought they were confidential.
TOMZ_KV
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From the Pilot's Handbook of the Rallye aircraft:
"Land the aeroplane when it is very close to the ground."
Maybe it lost something when it was translated from the original French?
And from the Bond MkC three-wheel car handbook of the early '50s:
"Change up a gear when the noise of the engine frightens you."
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