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* Golf balls are like eggs ~ they're white. They're sold by the dozen ... and a week later you have to buy more.
* A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
* It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
* When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard or go to church?
* Golf is by far the ultimate love /hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
* It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.
* A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
* Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
* Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
* A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.
* That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
* If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
* If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
* You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just fine!
* Golf appeals to the child in all of us. .. . This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.
* It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway.
* If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.
* The greatest sound in golf is the Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.
* A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.
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Real men play Full Contact Golf[^] anyway, but don't drink that beer substitute.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
I hold an A-7 computer expert classification, Commodore. I'm well acquainted with Dr. Daystrom's theories and discoveries. The basic design of all our ship's computers are JavaScript.
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Going strictly by my own personal prefrence, I think Full Contact Golf should be done mixing Karate and Golf instead of American Football and Golf. American Footballers are pussies. They've got so much protective gear on them that they can't feel a thing anyway... 
No doubt I'm gonna get flamed by some American Football pussy now, so let's meet in Tombstone at dawn and fight it out... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 16-Jan-14 1:40am.
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Johnny J. wrote: No doubt I'm gonna get flames by some American Football pussy now, so let's meet
in Tombstone at dawn and fight it out...
Full Contact Shooting?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
I hold an A-7 computer expert classification, Commodore. I'm well acquainted with Dr. Daystrom's theories and discoveries. The basic design of all our ship's computers are JavaScript.
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Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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So True!
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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 Potentially ?*&^??? Where do you work, in a broom cupboard?
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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I almost clicked.. but I saw the first words on the link... that was close 
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I'm shirking at home today so no worries... 
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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That's exactly what I was going to say! and it's dumb!
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Dang, it seems like I missed something here... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Whoah. Definitely not one for the Lounge. The content on that site is not Kid Sister Safe.
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On behalf of kid sisters everywhere, I'd like to thank you for venturing forth to check that out for us. It's a dirty job (from the sounds of it), but someone has to do it. 
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Apologies, I can't delete, but I won't do it again!
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Actually the soapbox would be more appropriate, all sorts of filth odd people hang out there 
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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Mycroft Holmes wrote: odd people
Hey, don't talk like that about Griff. He can't help it! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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apparently there was an earthquake in the middle of the night. Didn't feel a thing.
LA [^]
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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I didn't feel that either. I am almost 100 miles away here in Southern San Diego, but on the other hand I did feel the 4.6 quake in Baja back in December.
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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I was gonna say it depends how shallow/deep they were as well, then looked at the link, and oh sh*t, they're all really shallow. 
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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It's LA... feels like 5 o'clock rush hour...
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Nothing less than 7.0 is worth getting out of bed for.
Will Rogers never met me.
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or will shake you out of bed!
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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4.4 is like sharing a desk island with someone who has shaky leg syndrome.
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