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The Weird and The Wonderful

   

The Weird and The Wonderful forum is a place to post Coding Horrors, Worst Practices, and the occasional flash of brilliance.

We all come across code that simply boggles the mind. Lazy kludges, embarrassing mistakes, horrid workarounds and developers just not quite getting it. And then somedays we come across - or write - the truly sublime.

Post your Best, your worst, and your most interesting. But please - no programming questions . This forum is purely for amusement and discussions on code snippets. All actual programming questions will be removed.

 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
CDP180213-Jul-11 22:23
CDP180213-Jul-11 22:23 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
Fabio Franco14-Jul-11 4:03
professionalFabio Franco14-Jul-11 4:03 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information PinPopular
BrainiacV14-Jul-11 3:28
BrainiacV14-Jul-11 3:28 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
John R. Shaw16-Jul-11 6:56
John R. Shaw16-Jul-11 6:56 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
S Douglas23-Aug-11 17:01
professionalS Douglas23-Aug-11 17:01 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
BrainiacV24-Aug-11 3:44
BrainiacV24-Aug-11 3:44 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
S Douglas24-Aug-11 4:49
professionalS Douglas24-Aug-11 4:49 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
BrainiacV24-Aug-11 10:08
BrainiacV24-Aug-11 10:08 
My assignment at the time was match up binders to loose leaf contents. It was easiest if manufacturing knew how many binders to make with the content already in them. So I had three result piles, binders only, content only, combined binder and content.

Now do that in a single SQL statement. (That's not really a challenge, I'm sure someone could do it.) I was fresh off their two weeks of Oracle SQL training at the time. I knew it was going to be bad when I sat down at the conference table and the team lead turned to me and asked me why I was there. I was the programmer assigned to do this? OK, you can stay. So 50 minutes into the discussion of the project, the Oracle lead consultant (the one being billed at $300/hour instead of the minion $100/hour) pops in, gets a synopsis, and declares, "this shouldn't take more than two weeks," and leaves for the next meeting he is already late for.

I spent the first week staring at the problem, going around to the supposed Oracle experts, telling them the objective, and hearing them say, "That's an interesting problem, I'll give it some thought." So in the end, I said, screw it, I'm going to do it the old COBOL card-in, card-out way. I created two cursors (this being the mid-90's and cursors were cool) selected the data and sorted on a common column, and walked the two lists comparing them, creating a new record for each of the three bins.

In the meantime, my project partner, the one too busy to help with the programming, he was just there to "liaise" with the project principles, came by after two weeks asking where the output was. I said, "Did you hear me say it was going to take two weeks?" I had protested at the meeting, but the BIG BRAIN had spoken with his estimate and that was it. I handed it in a couple days later, but 80% Rob, as we called him (he would do only 80% of the work, declare victory and move on) threw me under the bus by handing in only two of the three files I gave him. This ended with a stakeholder in the project coming to my cubicle and telling me what a slipshod job I had done. Twenty minutes later of making an accidental enemy had me finally realizing what had happened. When confronted about this, 80% Rob said, "Somebody dropped the ball."
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11

Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.

GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
StM0n14-Jul-11 20:45
StM0n14-Jul-11 20:45 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
BobJanova14-Jul-11 22:30
BobJanova14-Jul-11 22:30 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
Lutosław14-Jul-11 23:27
Lutosław14-Jul-11 23:27 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
BillW3315-Jul-11 5:11
professionalBillW3315-Jul-11 5:11 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
RobCroll15-Jul-11 8:27
RobCroll15-Jul-11 8:27 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
OriginalGriff15-Jul-11 8:33
mveOriginalGriff15-Jul-11 8:33 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
Schmuli16-Jul-11 20:52
Schmuli16-Jul-11 20:52 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
YSLGuru25-Jul-11 6:22
YSLGuru25-Jul-11 6:22 
GeneralRe: When an error just doesn't give you enough information Pin
OriginalGriff25-Jul-11 8:30
mveOriginalGriff25-Jul-11 8:30 
GeneralEverything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) PinPopular
AspDotNetDev12-Jul-11 7:18
protectorAspDotNetDev12-Jul-11 7:18 
GeneralRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) Pin
BobJanova12-Jul-11 22:54
BobJanova12-Jul-11 22:54 
GeneralRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) PinPopular
OriginalGriff12-Jul-11 23:36
mveOriginalGriff12-Jul-11 23:36 
GeneralRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) Pin
Jonathan C Dickinson14-Jul-11 6:09
Jonathan C Dickinson14-Jul-11 6:09 
GeneralRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) Pin
JonasSSH13-Jul-11 2:50
JonasSSH13-Jul-11 2:50 
AnswerRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) Pin
AspDotNetDev13-Jul-11 7:44
protectorAspDotNetDev13-Jul-11 7:44 
GeneralRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) PinPopular
StM0n13-Jul-11 7:21
StM0n13-Jul-11 7:21 
GeneralRe: Everything That Has a Beginning Has an End (Eventually) Pin
MehGerbil14-Jul-11 2:37
MehGerbil14-Jul-11 2:37 

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