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Richard Deeming wrote: Hodor Programming Language[^] 
That would be funnier if it didn't look almost exactly like a lot of the Java code I've had to manage.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The modern version;
catch
{
}
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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Not quite - the modern version would require wrapping every single statement in its own "Pokémon exception-handling" block.
Which would mean splitting all variable declarations from their assignments, since a variable declared inside a try block can't be used outside of that block.
Which would also mean giving every variable some sort of default value, either when they're declared, or in the empty catch block for the first line that assigns them.
And don't forget to update the properties of the global Err object, in case the user gave any thought to checking for errors on the following line, and didn't just let their code trundle on regardless and destroy the program state / database / computer / world.
Having worked with VBScript many years ago, where this was the only form of error handling allowed, it's an horrendous construct. Whoever came up with the idea deserves a good beating with the clue-bat.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Richard Deeming wrote: Whoever came up with the idea deserves a good beating with the clue-bat.
Probably someone who got paid per LOC.
Bastard Programmer from Hell
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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You hold 'im, I'll hit 'im.
Then we can swap places. Repeatedly.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Richard Deeming wrote: he modern version would require wrapping every single statement in its own "Pokémon exception-handling" block.
Which would mean splitting all variable declarations from their assignments, since a variable declared inside a try block can't be used outside of that block.
Which would also mean giving every variable some sort of default value, either when they're declared, or in the empty catch block for the first line that assigns them.
And don't forget to update the properties of the global Err object, in case the user gave any thought to checking for errors on the following line, and didn't just let their code trundle on regardless and destroy the program state / database / computer / world
Ah!
Now I understand why you love VB so much!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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That's more like ON ERROR BAIL.
Steve
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You've discovered infinite recursion 
Remain Calm & Continue To Google
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"IF THEN MAYBE", "DO SOMETHING" and "GO SOMEWHERE" have always had a special place in my heart....
MAYBEBOL
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I like their error-handlers, at least it is honest.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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ON ERROR FORGET ABOUT IT from MAYBEBOL seems to be most directly in the spirit of the OP.
Software Zen: delete this;
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I've worked at places where it's ON ERROR RESUME UPDATE.
(You'll have to imagine the accents)
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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DaveAuld wrote: just popped into my head
I mumble this when something goes wrong...of course the wife doesn't get it. 
It's the be-all, catch-all of error handling constructs, and not a bad way to approach life sometimes! I can always apply a condition based on Err.Number!
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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break;
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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I like INTERCAL's ABSTAIN. You get statements like:
PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM CALCULATING
Also, to exit the program, you use:
PLEASE GIVE UP
The PLEASE is optional. If you don't use it enough, through, the compiler will reject your program for not being polite enough. You do have to be careful with it: using PLEASE too often will get your program rejected for excessive politeness.
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Does it have private and public statements, too?
e.g:
PRIVATE PLEASE SHAKE_IT_BABY
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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The only people who complain about this statement are the same ones who didn't know how to use it properly.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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The only way to use On Error Resume Next properly is to never use it. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Not the best War Games paraphrase I've ever seen, but it'll do.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Just about any COBOL will fit that, ADD 1 TO COUNT for instance.
veni bibi saltavi
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Well, PERFORM sthg VARYING FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL COUNT > 5 could do with a little work, but your point is still 90% valid.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Common Lisp's loop macro can be pretty interesting. It lets you do things like:
(loop for i in *random*
counting (evenp i) into evens
counting (oddp i) into odds
summing i into total
maximizing i into max
minimizing i into min
finally (return (list min max total evens odds)))
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Bloody hell, nobody mentioned GOTO or even GOSUB. It may not be error handling bit it was/is almost as abused as RESUME NEXT.
There were some doozies in the Lotus 123 macro language as well but I can't remember them. And did you ever look under the hood of early Lotus Notes, now there was a whole collection of nightmares!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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I actually used the MUMPS language when I did a contract for the VA. No reserved word, since everything was by context:
This was actually legal MUMPS code, since all things could be shortened to the first letter:
GREPTHIS()
N S,N,T,I,K,Q S I="K",S="11",K="l1",Q="R",T="K"
I I=T D T
Q:$Q Q Q
T I I,S&K S S=S+K Q
The full blown statements weren't much better:
GREPTHIS()
NEW SET,NEW,THEN,IF,KILL,QUIT SET IF="KILL",SET="11",KILL="l1",QUIT="RETURN",THEN="KILL"
IF IF=THEN DO THEN
QUIT:$QUIT QUIT QUIT ; (quit)
THEN IF IF,SET&KILL SET SET=SET+KILL QUIT
Just to put history behind it, MUMPS was the "Massachusetts General Hospital Utility Multi-Programming System", and (colloquially) was designed by doctors.
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