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Probably old but new for me...
• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
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 had forgotten this one. still funny and clever
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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A double-negative didn't never go into a bar.
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A spoonerism balked into a war.
"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants"
Chuckles the clown
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Now THIS is the type of content we like to see!
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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The THIS walks into a BAR.
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See my sig.
Software Zen: delete this;
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This Foo walks into a Bar for a metasyntactic function.
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If you had to pick a song that described you, what would it be? I'll kick things off with mine:
I can't help about the shape I'm in
I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin
But don't ask me what I think of you
I might not give the answer that you want me to
Oh well
This describes me so well... I probably think this sone is about me... don't I.
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I believe the title is
" everyday people"
...different strokes for different folks...
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Slip Slidin Away.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Would "a broken record" qualify?
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Too old to rock and roll, too young to die.
"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants"
Chuckles the clown
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5teveH wrote: If you had to pick a song that described you, what would it be?
Whitesnake - Here I Go Again
(SFW, unless your boss hates life)
Jeremy Falcon
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"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger, "Better Days" No Dice Album
Great guitar solo from Pete Ham
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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ELO and Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu - my favorite ELO music
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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Billy Joel “You may be right, I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic you’re looking for”
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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It just might be this one: The I-95 Song[^] NSFW so use the headphones. I actually got a DJ to play this one at a family friendly bar in beautiful, downtown Cheyenne, WY in 1989, and it got quite a bit of applause. 
Will Rogers never met me.
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I think I got a new favourite song.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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