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They're called pants 
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AKA a diaper. 
(And yes, it might be in many of our futures.  )
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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I commend you for reading New Scientist (too)!.. 
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Obviously true given how many people are able to talk out of theirs.
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Or have their heads co-located with their rectums!
If you can't laugh at yourself - ask me and I will do it for you.
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Beat me to it .
Software Zen: delete this;
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""This is a provocative idea and those first encountering it will express astonishment," wrote Caleb Kelly at Yale School of Medicine in an article accompanying the paper."
Karen: "How dare you save my life by giving me anal oxygen!?"
Nurse: "I'm sorry ma'am, we'll just take your temperature next. Now if you will just bend over..."
Yeah, I see butthurt people alright 
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Sander Rossel wrote: butthurt
I see what you did there...
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Could this be the reason many advanced human beings got all the toilet paper from shelves?
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I suppose this is one of the reasons why some people like to stick their heads in there so often...
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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To breathe out, or ... *gulp* ... breathe in?  
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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While I agree with your last sentence, I have to say that I don't agree with your subject line.
You only survive for that many days on mechanical ventilation. (Fewer the older you are)
And seriously, If the choice is between suffocating or having a hose up my butt, I wouldn't need to think for long. 
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Yeah ... but think about the tv news pictures ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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No thanks, mental pictures are quite enough.
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You just took the mystery out of synchronized swimming.
It was only in wine that he laid down no limit for himself, but he did not allow himself to be confused by it.
― Confucian Analects: Rules of Confucius about his food
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Whiskey Tango Echo? 
What do they think config files, the Registry, etc. are there for?
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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So that's 66198 characters, the average word length in English is 4.7 characters, let's make a rough assumption that a variable name consists of an average of four words (probably stuff like useFeatureX), so that's around 20 characters per variable name and let's just say the same for a variable value, so 40 characters per setting, assuming it's something like someVar=someValue.
That makes 66198 / 40 = ~1655 settings?
That's assumption on assumption on assumption, but it's safe to say you* have A LOT! 
* Well, all the people from before you came along 
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Does the app really need both the old and new testaments?
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Marc Clifton wrote: So "we" (disclaimer, before I came along) have been stuffing all sorts of config stuff into the env vars on the server.
I believe what we have here is a perfect example of an anti-pattern.
Long ago someone did this and said, “well, it works”
People kept coming along and shrugging and saying “hmmm...well, it works”
Finally some unlucky sap finds out, “no, it doesn’t quite work.”
We all have these anti patterns we know and follow. We just mostly get lucky that it’s some other sap that learns they don’t quite work.
That’s a great story that many people think is the exception to IT but is really the rule.
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"Well it works"! Just like Schlmiel:
Quote: Shlemiel gets a job as a street painter, painting the dotted lines down the middle of the road. On the first day he takes a can of paint out to the road and finishes 300 yards of the road. “That’s pretty good!” says his boss, “you’re a fast worker!” and pays him a kopeck.
The next day Shlemiel only gets 150 yards done. “Well, that’s not nearly as good as yesterday, but you’re still a fast worker. 150 yards is respectable,” and pays him a kopeck.
The next day Shlemiel paints 30 yards of the road. “Only 30!” shouts his boss. “That’s unacceptable! On the first day you did ten times that much work! What’s going on?”
“I can’t help it,” says Shlemiel. “Every day I get farther and farther away from the paint can!”
Back to Basics – Joel on Software[^]
The more things change, the more they stay the same .
Mircea
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That article was an excellent read 
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Back in September 2003, I was very new to ASP.Net, having been using VB6 or VBScript/ASP before that. I'd done a couple of very basic "Hello world, how are you today?" (i.e. a bit more than Hello World) websites but had a genuine (personal) need to write something meatier. I needed a tool that would read an email inbox, extract messages, parse out, resize and save image attachments, extract the email HTML content, insert formatted details about the sender and the subject, put it all in a WYSIWYG editor and allow me to send the combined thing to a database-hosted mailing list. So quite a few discrete areas, plus some client-side trickiness. I managed it in about 3 weeks, not having used C# before. I've been using the tool since then, initially daily but for the past 5 years just weekly, with virtually zero changes and no significant bugs.
However it irked me that the quality of the code was simply appalling. So last night I sat down and rewrote it from scratch, in three hours. It works better, faster, without barfing over jpg vs. jpeg file extensions, or complaining about BASE64 encoding quirks, and without messing up tabs, em-dashes and other characters in the email texts. I've used some 3rd party components, but back in 2003 I wouldn't have known where to even start looking for them, let alone how to integrate them into my own code.
OK, one would hope I'd sped up a bit from a rookie coder, but it really underlines to me the value that experience brings (plus, it must be said, the evolution from VisualStudio2000 to VS2019).
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Yep. I started c# in 2004, with a password storage app I still use and keep threatening to replace with a much better one - but it works, and I haven't had to touch it for well over a decade.
I know the code is cr@p though - and it irks me every time I use it ...
One day, one day ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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There's this story on the internet, my Google-fu is failing me right now, but I remember it, mostly.
Some guy has an issue with his computer and nothing works, so he takes his computer to an expert to have a look at it.
The expert clicks a single button and the issue is resolved.
"That's €100", the expert says.
"What!?" says the man, outraged, "All you did was click a single button!"
"Yeah", says the expert "clicking the button costs you €0,05, knowing where to click is the other €99,95." 
Not sure where I was going with this, but congrats
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