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"Enlarged" perhaps???? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Yeah dial in the amount of cushion an pushin… I think you're on to something. 
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta I told my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices in my head. He said you don't have a psychiatrist!
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That's something I've waited a lifetime to know; thanks.
Will Rogers never met me.
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Ahhh, the beautiful miracles of the deep sea... They're somewhere else 
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And as a smoothie for the busy dad, you just skip everything but the whisky... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
modified 11-May-16 6:11am.
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Code Offsets - Version 2.0 - The Daily WTF[^]
I can think of a few people here that need some of these.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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... been following Dancing With The Stars (and I know you haven't) and you don't know who Nyle Di Marco is (and I know you don't) live a little dangerously, watch last night's Paso[^], and see if you can tell what it is that makes the whole thing extra amazing. The answer's here[^], totally!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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OK, you really need to watch this[^]
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I like so really have like so really lots of times. Like I even saw it in the cinema and everyfing!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Strange, I've been dancing for many years, and when I watched the clip, I was totally convinced (not knowing either of them) that HE was the pro and she was the amateur...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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OK, so I'm away at work, with all the various portable computer gadgetry to amuse myself in the evenings, and I wanted to access files on my laptop drive from my windows 10 tab.
OK, so the tab has two full-sized USB ports, I've got USB sticks coming out the wazoo, and I've re-enabled the Briefcase in win 10, but I wanted "edit in situ" access, to make it all slightly less of a PITA.
So I typety-type set up a virtual router on the laptop (with a little help from a search engine that is not google), fire it up, connect from the tab... and can't do a damned thing with it -- no Internet, no nothing.
So I'm off configury pokerying, messing with network config, firewalls, ACLs, etc, and tearing a blue strip off win 10 for being so ch*ffing useless.
An hour later (just under, but who's counting?), I finally remember to click on the "Advanced" button in the IPv4 properties window, to set up default DNS servers, and everything works like a charm.
That bluddy button has been there for decades!
SO WHY DIDN'T THAT BLUDDY WINDOWS 10 REMIND ME NOT TO BE A USELESS IDIOT!?!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Because it figures if you know enough to do all the rest you'll remember that part too? 
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Bollocks!
Where's Clippy, when I need him?!?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Long may he stay there!
... On no-one's Favourites list.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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...He wants people to get stuck there.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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That's nothing to sniff at.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I wondered why everyone was wearing Pasties.
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Cross-pondian translation problem:
In the UK, we eat pasties.
... But I can see how that wouldn't be so different, after all...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Here, too. But only to get to the good bits...
Will Rogers never met me.
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Such websites already exist. I could name a few, but they're not Lounge material (or even Soapbox material for that matter)
Of course people usually bring lube instead of glue 
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Should've called it, FaceTube.
The sh*t I complain about
It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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I am on a path to success. I appreciate everyone's words.
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