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Someone get a rope, tie a nose, and take this man out and hang him!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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You want to hang me sucker?! Get a strong rope and fall in line, but be prepared to WEIGHT a long, long time!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
modified 9-Jun-16 20:06pm.
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I treat it as a game to see how long I can drag it out for. Once they phone at tea time, so I told them to hang on as someone was just at the door.
When I went back to the phone about 30 mins later after tea they had hung up! How rude. 
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OT: but every time I hear or read 'How Rude' for some odd reason I think of Jar Jar Binks 'How Wude!' from Phantom Menace, I really need help!
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Quote: they had hung up! How rude
Some people have no manners!
Get me coffee and no one gets hurt!
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I got a nice e-mail from the DVLA telling me they had posted me all the paper work by first class post and that I can expect them in 5-10 working days!
Yup, I think it would be quicker to walk the friggin Swansea, pick up the warms and walk home again! I tried really, really hard not to scream "THIS IS THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY YOU GODLESS WHORES!" 
I shall go out into the sun and take my special medicine now.
veni bibi saltavi
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First they have to send someone down to the village to buy a stamp. That takes a while, as most sub post offices are friendly, chatty places and it can take an hour or so to get served - and another hour or two to get out afterwards. More if the kettle is on and there is tea brewing.
Then they have to find an envelope. That's difficult, as budget cuts mean they have to be fetched individually (and personally signed for to prevent theft) from the Stationary Cupboard, located in Central London.
Which means obtaining a travel permit, countersigned by the Post Master General. This entails submitting a Form 117/G(W) properly completed and approved by two Grade 7 or lower Civil Servants. Form 117/G(W) is available online from the government website[^] but onl;y on Tuesday and Thursday, unless there is a bribe in the offing.
It's not as simple as just "stuff it in the postbox" you know!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Any bet the print out was done by a dot matrix printer.
Kitty at my foot and I waAAAant to touch it...
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Nothing as advanced as that - it's a daisy-wheel[^].
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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5 to 10?!?! You are kidding...It seems they outsourced it to India or some other cheap place...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I could print it out myself and it would be faster for crying out loud... oh, wait...
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I have also noted a slack in the delivery of items, but mines from Amazon. Previously it would normally arrive the next day (1-3 days estimated delivery), now its 5-10 for priority express. 
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That'll be the delivery people making unreasonable demands like weekends off again!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Nah, I think all packages are scanned on country entry, and that it's what's causing the main delay. Packages usually arrive in my country the next day when they are shipped from Britan.
I guess they are worried that a lot of shipments contains illegal substances.
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Well, yes, I can see you're upset, but surely if DVLA has posted the item any delay in it reaching you is the fault of the Post Office, not the perky civil servants down in Swansea? Just saying!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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You could possibly have a point except every frog and his tadpole knows 1st class should be 1-3 days. So I suspect someone is playing Silly Buggers again in Swansea.
veni bibi saltavi
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When I pay the DVLA, the money is gone straight away, a refund takes six weeks...
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What they mean is that they've put it in an envelope and dropped in the Outgoing Mail tray, which is only dealt with on Thursday mornings by someone who doesn't give a cr@p, and never empties it completely.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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At least one of 'em should have been "Elementy McElementface" 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Damn! beat me to it.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I would have called one yippeekiyayium.
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...just answered a VB .NET question in QA, and the first line of his method is...
On Error Resume Next
I feel dirty for just having typed it. 
Why isn't this abortion dead? Who is teaching people about this? And why?
If you see anyone recommending it, can you please, please, give them a swift kick where it really hurts?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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