|
Have some more[^] 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Christmas time is here again.
Convention says "be jolly"
but really you just put on weight
and spend a lot of lolly.
The kids wake up excited.
They've got their Christmas fix.
You think it's nice despite the fact
it's only ten past six.
There are stockings full of presents.
They're filled right to the brim,
but the parents get no thanks
because, of course, they came from "him".
You watch them rip the paper.
Their eyes are open wide.
Then straight back to the stocking as
there's plenty more inside.
"It's what I've always wanted"
is always good to hear
even though it's said ten times
every
single
year.
You wander to the sitting room.
It is very clear to see
that above the mound of presents
is the summit of a tree.
The Christmas songs are playing.
You smile, but in the main,
you hear the same songs every year
and it drives you quite insane.
There's someone in the kitchen.
The short straw they have got.
They have twenty different vegetables
in twenty different pots.
The turkey's done, it weighs a ton.
It really is a crime
as you never ever purchase one
except at Christmas time.
So, lots of food, a glass of wine,
a slice of Christmas pud
and a block of cheese which leaves you
feeling really not so good
So get your coat and have a walk
to burn a little off
but then on your return
a cheeky mince pie you will scoff.
The end of day approaches.
Out comes the part-baked bread
and for a change your plate contains
cold meat and cheese instead.
Television, lots of toys,
the room is full of sounds.
It's then you see the Mini-Heroes
start to make their rounds.
The kids are tired, they go to bed.
Asleep in less than two.
They've really had a blast and yet
they haven't got a clue.
You look around. The room's a mess.
You slump down in a heap.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world" you think,
and then you fall asleep.
|
|
|
|
|
He's making a database
He's sorting it twice
SELECT * from contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice'
SQL Clause is coming to town
(stolen from Twitter)
|
|
|
|
|
Paddington Bear wrote: The kids wake up excited.
They've got their Christmas fix.
You think it's nice despite the fact
it's only ten past six.
There were 9 kids in my family; we started asking our parents if we could get up at 1:00 AM.
The answer was, "No."
Fifteen minutes later, someone else goes in... repeat the question.
Repeat until they realize they are not going to get any more sleep.
We never had to go through all of the kids.
|
|
|
|
|
My parents had a strict "You Will Not Wake Mom Up Before H:MM (no I don't remember the exact time anymore) OR ELSE" policy. Dad was generally up before then; but unlike Mom he is one of those unnatural morning people.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
|
|
|
|
|
We do the main presents after dinner and just before going to the midnight service on the 24th, the grils have never GOTTEN up early on Christmas Day! 
veni bibi saltavi
|
|
|
|
|
Nagy Vilmos wrote: grils have never GOTTEN up early on Christmas Day!
grills??? I wasn't aware that grilling was a traditional part of Christmas cooking for any meal; never mind breakfast. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
|
|
|
|
|
Right there with you. We also had the rule that we could not go down stairs until Mom & Dad had went down and turned on the lights before giving the okay.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
|
|
|
|
|
I always slept until my natural morning hours (9:30 - 10:30), after all the presents would still be there... that and I have a rather deep sleep
GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
If you think 'goto' is evil, try writing an Assembly program without JMP. -- TNCaver
"When you have eliminated the JavaScript, whatever remains must be an empty page." -- Mike Hankey
"just eat it, eat it"."They're out to mold, better eat while you can" -- HobbyProggy
|
|
|
|
|
Message Closed
modified 17-Dec-15 17:03pm.
|
|
|
|
|
That'd be me.
Was just one of those days at work where the brain refused point blank to play ball...
|
|
|
|
|
Bah, humbug! It's just another day except that the dog will be sulking because the butcher isn't open to give her a bit of sausage or ham like usual and there's a Dr Who special! Ho, ho, ho! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yet another contribution to the true spirit of Christmas (the commercial spirit).
(with apologies to Tom Lehrer)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
|
|
|
|
|
The true Spirit of Christmas is Sloe Gin.
veni bibi saltavi
|
|
|
|
|
Personally, I'm partial to an Irish coffee made with single-malt Bushmill's.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
|
|
|
|
|
Gawd! Ripping off the terminally stupid or "over-Christmassed".
I wish I'd thought of that...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
OriginalGriff wrote: I wish I'd thought of that...
Yep, that was my conclusion too.
I know what I'll be doing next year.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
chriselst wrote: I know what I'll be doing next year.
Taking your dog to Tamworth?
|
|
|
|
|
He might have been a complete bastard yesterday but there's no need to inflict Tamworth on him.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
|
|
|
|
|
More than 300 dogs, as well as a rabbit and a guinea pig...
Not a single cat.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
|
|
|
|
|
CDP1802 wrote: Not a single cat.
It's well known that cats hate Christmas - that's why they kick the sh*t out of the Christmas Tree... 
It's the guinea pig meeting Santa that worries me...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
|
|
|
|
|
What the hell is wrong with people?, this is obviously just a rip-off.
Wonder if Mother Easter would work?
New version: WinHeist Version You didn't fall from the stupid tree you got dragged through the whole dumbass forest.
|
|
|
|
|
Mike Hankey wrote: Wonder if Mother Easter would work?
Doubt it but I'm sure that dogs would love a chance to chase the Easter Bunny!
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
