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I hate missing a good flame war when I'm on the other side of the planet. McSpudster, you are and a***hole, how dare you remove bits of the most interesting thread I have seen so far this morning.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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W∴ Balboos wrote: is it really so wrong to throw a bit of gasoline onto the fire; or lit matches into the gasoline?
Absolutely not! Stirring the pot is a long standing tradition here, among us original members, especially on weekends when things get a bit slow. If any of the newbies think it trolling, screw 'em. Let them find their own site and leave us to have a nice time.
Will Rogers never met me.
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Got this offline, complete plagiarism, I know, but I thought it fitting for the day. 
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that it's the government's job.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthen.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch only four channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain - where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
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Repost![^]
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
---
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
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Even more fitting.
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Slacker007 wrote: Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch only four channels.
That's a good indication of just how old this is.
- Channel 5[^] was launched in 1997.
- Since October 2012, anyone who wants to watch TV without a satellite or cable subscription needs to have a "Freeview[^]" tuner, which pulls in over 60 channels.
We still pay the tax, and there's still almost never anything good on, but don't ever claim we only have four channels of crap! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Richard Deeming wrote: don't ever claim we only have four channels of crap!
But we do.
All the other 96 channels hold are repeats of the crap on the first four...again.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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But that still counts as 100 channels of crap!
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Can you count them as "different channels" when the only way to tell which channel you are on is that the channel ident and the adverts are different? 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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But they're showing different crap at different times! 
"Hey, I missed that crap just now, because I was in the crapper taking a crap. I guess I'll have to watch it on UKTVCRAP+1."
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Slacker007 wrote: Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
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Slacker007 wrote: Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch only four channels.
That shows how old this is!
Channel 5 started in 1997, then in 1998 the terrestrial Digital TV revolution began.
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Filling our screens with images of Leslie[^].
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Almost, you stated Freeview, but forgot about the OnDigital (then ITV Digital) era before this!
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I must have missed that - I was busy growing artificial limbs to pay for Sky.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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We have sky here at work. when you have the same thing on for 2 weeks in a row, it certainly tells me one thing (and the wife knows it) I ain't getting sky at home!
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Brits - Believe that those to the north and west of them brew better alcohol than they do
Canadians - Think they brew the best alcohol on earth especially their Whisky
Americans - Know that those north, south, east and west of them brew better alcohol then they do. They just can't handle it.
Aussies - Eh is that another drink lemme try a pull on that.
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
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Americans: Shooting back at oppressive Feds is a right.
Canadians: Shooting back is rude; surely we can talk aboot it. Would you like to beat my harp seal?
Brits: What's "shooting?"
Aussies: Shooting back is silly; shoot first.
Will Rogers never met me.
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...while I was away, did @glennPattonPUB get a job? I don't see him here anywhere!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Ah. So he still has PUB as his username (but CP uses the original user id then) - implies he hasn't got a position yet. Pity, it's horribly depressing getting rejected all the time...poor bugger.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I know the worst bit is having some 12 year old tell you that is not how a CV is laid out today... Also agents phoning you at silly O'clock in that am (which gets later...) asking 'intelligent' question before ![Java | [Coffee]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/coffee.gif) ...
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glennPattonPUB wrote: I know the worst bit is having some 12 year old tell you that is not how a CV is laid out today.
Does seem like the "standard" changes over the years... I've been thinking of redoing mine soon because it seems outdated. Plus it's too long now that I've been on the job > 10yrs, so I have to summarize things a bit better.
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Hmm, my guess is that there isn't a standard way, as I have had three pro's tell me the way it's laid out is good only to be told 'no that's not the way to do it', reply 'tell me whats wrong' after the arts graduate tells you to sell your self and do & that the phrase 'well we offer a service to rewrite CVs' reply 'Oh do you Hmmm', it a scam!
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That's a good trick though. I bet people fall for it.
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