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Students are detested and degraded
Dead composers decompose (thanks to Monty Python)
Barbers are departed
...
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
/ravi
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He is the broker and you is the brokee 
(I forget the author of the expression)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Chiropodists get defeated?
=========================================================
I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
=========================================================
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Gunmen get deranged.
It's true, just look at the US.
Life is like a s**t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less s**t you eat.
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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane..
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded, "Pepper."
I'll get my coat. 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
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5.
From what I recollect, you've already got your coat several times in the recent past
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He has a lot of coats to collect...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Avijnata wrote: From what I recollect, you've already got your coat several times in the recent past
I must leave pretty quickly after I tell a joke.
The hounds are usually after me. 
Once you lose your pride the rest is easy.
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. – Buddha
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
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Maybe leave your coat on permanently
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Then how would he tell he was leaving?
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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You have a point there. Back to the drawing board!
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Weasel riding a wookpecker[^]
Apparently the weasel stalked it, jumped on it expecting lunch, and instead got launched.
I don't know about you, but the wood pecker certainly has a startled expression!
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Never lunge at a launching lunch!
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Some pics are worth posting twice.
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Munchies_Matt wrote: jumped on it expecting lunch
feeling peckish I take it?
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Glad to hear you've come out of the coma you must have been in the past week.
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Been skiing. And by Christ my knees are knackered. I am too fat and old to ski like I used to, doesn't stop me trying though!
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isn't PHP scripting instead of programming?
Well you could Title it:
PH POOP : Quick & Dirty in the toilet 
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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HobbyProggy wrote: isn't PHP scripting instead of programming?
Reminds me of an answer to "What's the difference between Javascript and Java?" on StackOverflow:
"One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers.
The other is a scripting language for web browsers."
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That one is excellent
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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manchanx wrote: One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers
That description fits both. Any language with 'script' in it, especially if it is an interpreter, is essentially a toy. trying to get serious work done with something like that has a long tradition all the way back to Mickeysoft BASIC.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
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