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Is your pen not mightier than your sword? 
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Fantastic! Awesome!
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Q. Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering.-Wernher von Braun
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein
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Quote: Not only was the fuel eco-friendly, but it also smelled like bacon while driving.
Now here's a fuel I can get behind.
Motorcycle fueled by bacon grease [^]
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Doesn't the smell makes you eat to often while driving? 
I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. (V)
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Only if you have bacon with you, other wise you would need to pull off the road to get some bacon, but by then the vehicle would be long gone. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Q What do you call two crows?
A Attempted murder.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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This joke doesn't work.
There is no sense of irony to it.
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Attempted murder with the iron bar in the conservatory?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Now you're making progress.
Imagine the joke written more like this:
The exasperated husband sprinkled some bird food around his wife while she was napping in a lawn chair. When only two crows showed up he was arrested for attempted murder.
..or something like that.
Don't you think that is an improvement?
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I think I might be getting the idea.
Is it that two crows is a crowd, but three is murder?
If that's the case, then one must be company, but "one's company" doesn't make a lot of sense, unless you're talking about the war.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I'm going to pretend that made sense and excuse myself.
I need to go turn the light off in the restroom again.
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Someone was using my stall in the restroom.
I turned out the light and left.
I figure a few minutes of stumbling around in the dark with his pants around his ankles will teach him.
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And you had better hope he doesn't read this...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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In the dark?
Not likely.
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MehGerbil wrote: Someone was using my stall in the restroom
Is that where they moved your work station to after your promotion? Cool, now you work in the reading room. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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I see you found the light switch.
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The only paper I could locate was the TPS report on your desk. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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It is pretty much a Lounge rule that the mention of a TPS report is an automatic upvote.
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I guess that means your post does as well. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Thank you for protecting the integrity of the system.
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MehGerbil wrote: a few minutes of stumbling around in the dark with his pants around his ankles will teach him.
What if it was a her, and she was waiting for you?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Mark_Wallace wrote: What if it was a her, and she was waiting for you?
Then turning out the light won't have an effect since she's obviously blind.
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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This won't ever happen again if you remember to spray your territory!
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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I just wanted to thank Stephen Hawkings for his utterly worthless warning about the 'god particle' and its potential to destroy the entire universe in 1/100 of a second. Should I ever need a really big problem to worry about where I have absolutely no ability to change the outcome I'll be sure to give this guy a call.
My guess is that he was tired of global warming getting all the press.
As a token of my thanks I'll be making him a sandwich board this weekend. Combine that with the 'end of the world' message and a wheel chair and he'd make a killing on street corners.
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