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"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."
"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home."
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector.
He said he would put a new one on immediately.
"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."
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That's a new one. (to me atleast)
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That guy's died so many times[^], I'm not sure he was ever alive! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Schoolboy humour featuring a minority group - that's original.
Peter Wasser
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
Frank Zappa
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I guess we should be worried about offending all the Amish people on the Internet, eh?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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A cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and criticizing throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."
The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied,"I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the
store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Nine, but what do you care about that?"
The judge patiently said, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for
each peach."
As the judge was about to drop the gavel, the lady's long suffering husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"
The husband said, "Your Honour, she also stole a can of peas."
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Was she Mrs Nielsen[^] by any chance?
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I've got them all... Except 3 down. 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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That one's got me stumped as well. I hoped DD could fill us in.
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INTOXICATRED
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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LOL!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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I'll tell you 3 down if you tell me 7 down.
speramus in juniperus
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I've got a cross word for him, too - but I can't tell you without breaking the KSS rule 
MVVM # - I did it My Way
___________________________________________
Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011
.\\axxx
(That's an 'M')
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I don't know, and I don't care.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Whatever, what are you talking about anyway?
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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I don't even know anyone who cares.
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Huh? Where you saying something? 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Over by the water cooler.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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I used to care but I don't now and I can't remember why? 
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Who cares?
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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