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A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I've decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That's where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men with shovels came to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner writes another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
/ravi
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Damn Leslie. 
/ravi
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He's a sneaky bugger! He shirley gets around a lot for a dead-bloke. 
"Science adjusts its views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved." - Tim Minchin
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Did you mean Leslie Chow ? 
"If A is a success in life, then A=x+y+z. (Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.)"
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Hehe he he.
Nope. If that was a joke, I'm afraid I've missed it. If it was asked in earnest, the answer is mr Naked Gun himself, Leslie Nielsen[^].
"Science adjusts its views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved." - Tim Minchin
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enhzflep wrote: If that was a joke, I'm afraid I've missed it.
Here's who is Leslie Chow[^].
PS: In case you haven't seen The Hangover movie series, you should do it. 
"Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.
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Thanks Raj,
Yes indeed, recognized his photo the seond I googled him to see if it was likely to be a joke or an enquiry from someone unfamiliar with the Leslie meme here at CP. As luck would have it in fact, there was a screening of The Hangover 2 on telly the other week. A wonderful series when in the mood for brain-off, silly-comedy fun.
"Science adjusts its views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved." - Tim Minchin
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It's a CodeProject meme: if you repost the same thing in the discussion forums, then Leslie Nielsen is invoked.
His demise was reported here so many times in a short period that his name became a shortcut for "that's been posted here before, please check first..."
It's a bit like Sean delivering MVP certificates in person, while wearing only a Mankini, oil, and nipple tassels - only that one's for real 
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
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ILATVOTOJ. BTLNISITO.
What this means is left as an exercise to the reader. :mischievous_grin:
Keep Clam And Proofread
--
√(-1) 23 ∑ π...
And it was delicious.
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"I love a t? version of the old joke", followed by "But t? let's not..." is all I got, Zach.
/ravi
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ILATVOTOJ. BTLNISITO.
=
I Laughed At This Version Of That Old Joke. But The Leslie Neilson Is Strong In This One.
EDIT: This, That, and The Other. 
Keep Clam And Proofread
--
√(-1) 23 ∑ π...
And it was delicious.
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Not What I Would Have Figured <TSomething> <OSomething>
Keep Clam And Proofread
--
√(-1) 23 ∑ π...
And it was delicious.
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No Wonder I Wouldn't Have Figured That Out!
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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not what i would have first thought of
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As the vicar said: "Don't forget to use lettuce spray for the lettuce prey".
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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It's better and more believable when told using tomato plants. Lettuce is planted very shallow, some people don't even cover lettuce seeds with dirt so there would be no point in digging up the yard.
End of technical explanation. (One way to ruin an already ruined joke.)
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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I suspect it's pretty old, and it's aimed Canadaists, but I'm pretty sure it applies everywhere:
Dear Prime Minister,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the CANADIAN economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about ten million people over 50 in the work force...
Pay them $ 2 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new Canadian-made car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed.
4) They MUST send their kids to school / college / university -
Crime rate fixed.
5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol (a couple of jugs of good wine ) / tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that !
Also:
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell..
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $400.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Given that Herself works in an old-folks home, the final description is depressingly closer to reality than it should be...even in the "good" homes.
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
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Now all they need is $2 x 1013 to bring the plan to fruition.
Software Zen: delete this;
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That's just an implementation detail! 
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
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I think this is already implemented:
Quote: They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol (a couple of jugs of good wine ) / tobacco a week .....
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OriginalGriff wrote: I got sent this...
...
Dear Prime Minister,
BRAKING NEW!!!
Holy sh*tsnacks, Prime Minister of Canada goes by the name of OriginalGriff on Codeproject.
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Hah! You fell for it! I am in fact much more important: I am a hamster...
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
English doesn't borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
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