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The Weird and The Wonderful

   

The Weird and The Wonderful forum is a place to post Coding Horrors, Worst Practices, and the occasional flash of brilliance.

We all come across code that simply boggles the mind. Lazy kludges, embarrassing mistakes, horrid workarounds and developers just not quite getting it. And then somedays we come across - or write - the truly sublime.

Post your Best, your worst, and your most interesting. But please - no programming questions . This forum is purely for amusement and discussions on code snippets. All actual programming questions will be removed.

 
GeneralRe: Submission for the Guiness book of world records [modified] Pin
Michael Agroskin3-Jan-11 15:35
Michael Agroskin3-Jan-11 15:35 
GeneralRe: Submission for the Guiness book of world records Pin
Rob Grainger7-Jan-11 4:13
Rob Grainger7-Jan-11 4:13 
GeneralRe: Submission for the Guiness book of world records Pin
Michael Agroskin7-Jan-11 7:10
Michael Agroskin7-Jan-11 7:10 
GeneralCoded by an Expectional person Pin
senny28-Dec-10 22:30
senny28-Dec-10 22:30 
GeneralRe: Coded by an Expectional person Pin
AspDotNetDev29-Dec-10 7:02
protectorAspDotNetDev29-Dec-10 7:02 
GeneralRe: Coded by an Expectional person Pin
senny30-Dec-10 0:41
senny30-Dec-10 0:41 
GeneralRe: Coded by an Expectional person Pin
AspDotNetDev30-Dec-10 6:50
protectorAspDotNetDev30-Dec-10 6:50 
GeneralProgramming Hell Pin
Affan Saied28-Dec-10 20:53
Affan Saied28-Dec-10 20:53 
I've been thinking lately about religion, it's something I don't understand and unfortunately(it really is unfortunate at some times) "God" gave me a brain to analyse, think and come to my own conclusions, not the ones written in "holy" books which have been edited/rewritten so many times by powerful people throughout history, let's not forget that not so long ago tickets to heaven were being sold(i guess they ran out of space nowadays :P )...

I consider anyone who follows anything blindly to be a fool, we have a brain and we should use it... Just because your parents, priests, friends, news, tv (so on...) say something, it doesn't make it true, they, just as anyone else, are human and can be wrong...
Now that I got that off my chest, I was wondering how hell would look like from a programming perspective.

I Googled hell, and ended up going into wikipedia, from which I quote "Revelation 20:10 (NIV) illustrates Hell as a "lake with burning sulfure" "

From this information, I see that there will be a lot of burning involved, therefore as a good programming habit, I create a method and call it "burn", the method is unclear, should it return anything? does it take any arguments? is it static(as in, a part of hell)? Lets simplify for now and say public void burn()

Now I'm curious about a way out, I read a bit more in wikipedia and found out that in

Christianity, I quote "As opposed to the concept of Purgatory, damnation to Hell is considered final and irreversible". Wow, that must suck!

Islam, I quote "The Qur'an also says that some of those who are damned to hell are not damned forever, but instead for an indefinite period of time" Hehe and all this time I thought that Christiniaty was about forgiveness...

Chinese and Japanese religions, I quote "The Chinese depiction of Hell doesn't necessarily mean a long time suffering for those who enter Hell, nor does it mean that person is bad. The Chinese view Hell as similar to a present day passport or immigration control station. In a Chinese funeral, they burn many Hell Bank Notes for the dead. With this Hell money, the dead person can bribe the ruler of Hell, and spend the rest of the money either in Hell or in Heaven." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i looooooooove this!!!

In short, our main program should be like this,

Christianity, its an infinite loop, there's no way out! therefore:

while(true)
{
burn();
}

Islam, we need to specify a condition, since there "might" be a way out, therefore:

boolean forgiven = false;
while(forgiven == false)
{
suffer(); // wtvr happens in Islamic hells, in heaven they get to screw virgins, therefore i guess it's the opposite here...
begForgivness(); //beg for forgivness
}

In Japanese/Chinese hell, hehe well this one is a bit complex but i'll give it a shot!

double hell_bank_notes = 0; //some people are bastards and burn coins, even though they don't burn, we can't underestimate the chinese!
boolean go_to_hell = true; //we're assuming we're going straight to hell

if(isDead() == true && go_to_hell== true)
{
hell_bank_notes = getPocketMoney(); //hehe lets hope they burn alot of money at your funeral!

while(isBribed() == false && bankrupt() == false)
{
bribe(); //bribe gives a dollar at a time so that we dont get ripped off!
}

if(isBribed() == true)
{
heaven();
}
else //ur passport got rejected lol
{
hell();
}
}


Well thats the end of hell, now that we know how it looks like, we should find a way to hack it and break the system before it's too late :P

I've wasted 30 minutes of my life writing this so plz waste a couple of minutes to comment or else you'll end up burning in helllll buhahahahahaa lol!
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
_Erik_29-Dec-10 5:07
_Erik_29-Dec-10 5:07 
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
AspDotNetDev29-Dec-10 6:42
protectorAspDotNetDev29-Dec-10 6:42 
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
fjdiewornncalwe29-Dec-10 10:45
professionalfjdiewornncalwe29-Dec-10 10:45 
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
fjdiewornncalwe3-Jan-11 16:28
professionalfjdiewornncalwe3-Jan-11 16:28 
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
Bernhard Hiller29-Dec-10 19:27
Bernhard Hiller29-Dec-10 19:27 
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
_Maxxx_6-Feb-11 19:14
professional_Maxxx_6-Feb-11 19:14 
GeneralRe: Programming Hell Pin
Michael Agroskin3-Jan-11 15:40
Michael Agroskin3-Jan-11 15:40 
RantMagic Numbers Pin
Adrian.Tawse28-Dec-10 6:39
Adrian.Tawse28-Dec-10 6:39 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers Pin
AspDotNetDev28-Dec-10 7:09
protectorAspDotNetDev28-Dec-10 7:09 
JokeRe: Magic Numbers Pin
fjdiewornncalwe28-Dec-10 8:16
professionalfjdiewornncalwe28-Dec-10 8:16 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers Pin
AspDotNetDev28-Dec-10 8:19
protectorAspDotNetDev28-Dec-10 8:19 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers PinPopular
Adrian.Tawse28-Dec-10 12:03
Adrian.Tawse28-Dec-10 12:03 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers Pin
Anna-Jayne Metcalfe18-Jan-11 0:45
Anna-Jayne Metcalfe18-Jan-11 0:45 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers Pin
_Erik_29-Dec-10 5:37
_Erik_29-Dec-10 5:37 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers PinPopular
OriginalGriff29-Dec-10 6:43
mveOriginalGriff29-Dec-10 6:43 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers Pin
_Erik_29-Dec-10 7:00
_Erik_29-Dec-10 7:00 
GeneralRe: Magic Numbers Pin
Adrian.Tawse29-Dec-10 8:01
Adrian.Tawse29-Dec-10 8:01 

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