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Science is a very serious business, so what tickles a rational mind? In a not very scientific experiment, we asked a sample of great minds for their favourite jokes. Keep your day job
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Sigh. Editing is such a dead artform these days. The "ex" joke should read:
At a party for functions, ex is at the bar looking despondent. The barman says: "Why don't you go and integrate?" To which ex replies: "It would not make any difference."
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Three statisticains go hunting. They spot a deer.
The first takes a shot, but misses ten feet to the left.
The second takes a shot, but misses ten feet to the right.
The third says, "I think we got it".
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While he’s not busy writing instructions on how to lead a tech company or guides for switching from iPhone to Android, Google chairman Eric Schmidt has taken some time out to provide Bloomberg TV with his predictions for 2014. He's already looked at your predictions as well
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Google is going to sell us household robots, so they can map your entire house. Then they are going to take on IKEA.
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There's a great dystopian novel in there, I think.
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TTFN - Kent
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As you throw back another egg nog, mulled wine or other variety of sickly Christmas cheer, save a thought for the brain cells that take a hit with each swig. Your memory might not fare so well the morning after, but thanks to these tips from England's eight-time World Memory Champion and author of How to Develop a Brilliant Memory Week by Week Dominic O'Brien, there are a few things you can do to improve it in the future. "Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good."
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An Indiegogo project that aims to deliver the first gadget capable of translating a dog’s thoughts into the English language has reached its funding goal with 50 days left to go in the money-raising campaign. The “No More Woof” (NMW) project aims to deliver the first devices that will translate dogs’ thoughts into English and other languages at some point in April. "I so ever do want the ball!"
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"Take this elephanting thing off my head" will be very common I suspect.
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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Microsoft has the rights to use quite a few trademarks and in the U.S. while most of them are obvious, such as "Windows", "Xbox" and "Office", others are a bit of a mystery. Earlier in December, the company made a number of new filings with the U.S Patent and Trademark Office, and most of them center on one word: "Mod." "One White, One Black, One Blonde"
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I reckon either a replacement for Metro or Microsoft Office Division.
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Yeah, a lot of people are thinking it's the new Metro.
Just as long as they don't feel the need to attach it to everything, like they did with Active, .NET, and Live.
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TTFN - Kent
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I hope you're not suggesting Microsoft would take an idea and beat that horse until it's dead and buried and beyond?
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Oh, perish the thought! They would never do any such thing (and I'm sure some would think anyone who thought that just positively hated poor Microsoft). No one here like that.
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TTFN - Kent
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I've been using Mod's for games for years, and Mod as musical genre has existed at least 40 years! Ask Paul Weller or The Who.
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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Fortunately, The Jam never did copyright the term, so they might be safe this time.
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TTFN - Kent
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That's soooo 60's.
But then again, what do you expect from a company that created Metro.
I suppose they're going to rename the Office suite to The Mod Squad[^] 
Marc
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The adoption of REST as the predominant method to build public APIs has over-shadowed any other API technology or approach in recent years. Although several alternatives (mainly SOAP) are still (very) prevalent in the enterprise, the early adopters of the API movement have taken a definitive stance against them and opted for REST as their approach and JSON as their preferred message format. "Premature optimization is the root of all evil."
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When we took computers and crammed them into tiny phones, we brought with us the way we had always done things. The problem — as any smartphone user knows — is that it’s hard to control an application’s interface when it’s centered on tiny buttons. There’s no tactile feedback, and visual feedback is often insufficient. Victims of autocorrect know what I’m talking about. The "fling" gesture can lead to unfortunate results
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A mood board is a collage of images, color samples, sketches, pasted items or text meant to communicate an idea visually. They are used across disciplines like web design, visual design, rapid prototyping, fashion, storyboarding, interior decoration, to name a few. You can also use them for personal growth – for instance, as a vision board to support your bucket list. "What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises — no matter the mood!
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This year had its fair share of breached enterprise networks and software glitches. From more than 38 million Adobe passwords being compromised to the embarrassing launch of HealthCare.gov, software developers were left scratching their heads on how to improve the quality and security of their programs. Wishful thinking, I fear
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A team at Microsoft has been working for the past four years on a project that aims to bring some new “systems programming” extensions to the C# language. This week, the leader of that effort, Joe Duffy, quietly revealed the first details of this effort on his blog site. Let's call it C#++
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Everyone has missed the biggest thing here; in that slide MS is admitting that Java is faster than .Net.
As for the system programming extensions which despite the branding and being shoved into C# this time are really C++.Nyet 3.0... since versions 1 and 2 faceplanted epically (outside of niche uses like COM wrappers for classes that had a zillion optional parameters) I have not expectation of success for v3.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Dan Neely wrote: in that slide MS is admitting that Java is faster than .Net.
Good catch!
Marc
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And I suppose VB goes in the lower left box???
Regardless, I think his placement of languages in relationship to safety, productivity (how do safety and productivity get combined anyways???) and C++ are arbitrary at best.
Dart boards are round, not square.
Marc
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