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(Probably not)* Abraham Lincoln: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt
* Often attributed to Lincoln, or Twain, or sometimes Churchill - but it's probably biblical: King James Bible: Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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"I refuse to join any club team that would have me as a member" — Groucho Marx
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Quote: Hello, is it me you're looking for?
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Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Please God, no! 😸
Paul Sanders.
If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter - Blaise Pascal.
Some of my best work is in the undo buffer.
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"Hi, my name is <your name>, I've just transferred from <old team>."
Let the rest of the team get to know you before you start giving your opinion.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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take my note here...
diligent hands rule....
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Few open doors here, but start by simply saying something like "Hi, I'm South Mountain, nice to meet you all."
Next, since it's a business meeting, you should mention their product and how much you hate it and now that you've met them you understand how it's so bad.
This will make the conversation about them and people love talking about themselves and their hobbies.
If you haven't won them over at this point (though crowd!), talk politics.
People love a good discussion and politics makes for good discussions.
It goes without saying, but be sure to speak your love for either Trump or Biden and your hate towards the other.
You could throw in a little religion too if you like.
Last, talk about your sex life.
It makes you seem confident, which people like.
Make sure to add some embarrassing stuff so you come across as vulnerable too.
I feel like it's too early to start about butt stuff, but try to feel the room a bit and if it feels right you can bring it up.
Good luck, you've got this! 
(Seriously, don't do these things.)
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diligent hands rule....
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Quote: I feel like it's too early to start about butt stuff,
I am so glad I'd swallowed just before I read this! 
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Great points Sander, as usual. You did forget to mention talking about Jesus, since that always makes people comfortable around you.
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"hello, world\n"
"In testa che avete, Signor di Ceprano?"
-- Rigoletto
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"Hi, I am 'name', I've just descended from the sky. I know more than all of you put together. Better start listening to me, and obeying my orders".
modified 6-Oct-22 2:58am.
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Not nearly awe-inspiring enough.
[In an eldritch voice]
I am Death, the Destroyer of Worlds!
Kneel before Me, O mortals, and despair!
EDIT: added reference to mortals.
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
modified 6-Oct-22 7:19am.
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"Worship me and we'll get along just fine."
// TODO: Insert something here Top ten reasons why I'm lazy
1.
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I am Ozymandias, King of Kings!
Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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"Hello, my name is flge ,, ,eogpwegj ..gwe #fiddle with your microphone# .... I also .. fweoj pwejgjj" and then switch off the communication and go out and enjoy the sunny weather.
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(serious answer).
new team or new company ? do they know you? do they know your background ?
Just say :
"Hi, I'm southmountain, I come from XYZ, my background is in ABC technologies in such and such domain , I will be joining you on this project, I hope to be an excellent addition to the team"
"Feel free to contact me later for more details"
CI/CD = Continuous Impediment/Continuous Despair
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take my note here...
diligent hands rule....
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new title and higher salary, join the meeting in Zoom...
diligent hands rule....
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Hello, glad to be with you now. I'm <your name="">.
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Hi Y'all! Drinks are on me!
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