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Misdirection and obfuscation is the name of the game! 
So are the uppercase 'A' in "Army", and "army swimmers" given they have tentacles not arms or legs, but common usage allows.
In my mind, anyway!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Shouldn't the plural be "octopi"?
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It's Greek, so octopodes if memory serves.
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Your memory is better than mine.
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That really just sounds like the evolutionary tree for an octopus themed Pokemon. 
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I'll let you Catch 'Em All!
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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So I inherited a project that uses Crystal Reports.
That's bad enough as it is, but I need to edit those reports.
It seems there's a free Visual Studio tool that allows you to edit reports, so that's what I got.
Buttons are grayed out while they actually work (and vice versa).
Buttons and the menu stop working all together (like literally, clicking "File", "Edit" or "View" don't do anything anymore).
There's a Field Explorer that's kind of crucial if you want to select or edit fields, it just stops responding the moment I deselect it.
Even saving breaks, forcing me to make changes more than once because I simply can't save them.
Every click I do is a game of Russian roulette, will it break the tool or can I make one more click?
The database definition changed, so I need to open a report, change the connection and then replace the changed field.
That takes me about three restarts because that piece of crap just stops working every time.
Only 50 more reports to go.
What the actual elephant!? 
At this point I'm just going to try a reinstall of the tool, because I can't believe even SAP/Crystal Reports would mess up THIS bad 
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Sander Rossel wrote: I can't believe even SAP/Crystal Reports would mess up THIS bad
Bwwaahahahahahaha!
A lot to learn you have, my young padawan ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You're right.
Trying to log in to the website.
Enter username, click a button for the password to show up(?), notice a typo in my username, click another button to be able to edit my username(?), username is emptied and I have to type the whole thing again, again button press for (also emptied) password.
Use "Forgot password" option, I'm taken to a page with no navigation options whatsoever, can only use the back button in my browser.
What kind of idiot design choices are these?
I have two explanations:
1) There's a worst design ever competition and they're going for first prize.
2) They hire "subsidized" designers.
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Your are evil, mini-me
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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It has some quirks, but once you get used to them it's not too bad. I had access to the full editor though. Maybe you can get a trial version?
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I think I've fixed the problem...
Downloaded and re-installed the latest version.
It's a lot more stable now 
I've considered getting the trial version, but that would be a future problem if I have to change a report six months from now
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Working buttons are part of the paid DLC.
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I'm just afraid working buttons are part of the paid DLC for the paid DLC, it's THAT bad 
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Two words: season pass
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Is there an API so you could open the elephanting thing in code, and never touch any GUI? Just thinking out loud, you prolly have checked that option...
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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I'm not sure if there's an API to edit the report.
I've used the API to render and print reports though and it's one of the worst I've seen.
report.Datasource = "My database"; // or something like that
Somehow empties everything the report knows about its tables, schema's, etc.
Only when you use a specific set of properties and functions IN A VERY SPECIFIC ORDER will it correctly reset your database connection
I once wrote a comment with some CR code, something like "The programmer who wrote this API was probably drunk and drugged when he wrote this. Do not change ANYTHING about the below code or it WILL break."
And I wasn't even trying to be funny.
After that kind of sh*t I'm really done with their entire API
Really, you haven't seen bad until you've seen Crystal Reports
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I think you must be lying. Crystal Reports has been around since '91. It simply must be an elephantingly great tool! 
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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And I'm sure it was... In '91
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Well it must be ![Elephant | [mastadon]](https://codeproject.freetls.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/elephant.gif) ed anyway.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Have you considered asking your company to stop being cheap and cough up the money for a real license? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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I'll ask myself!
This is just for one customer and not a very big one (yet).
I only need to change these reports now and maybe once or twice a year after that.
A license would be paying €479 for something I need for like a day a year.
I could consider a license if the customer got bigger or if the CR work becomes more frequent.
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Sander Rossel wrote: I only need to change these reports now and maybe once or twice a year after that.
A license would be paying €479 for something I need for like a day a year.
So? Bill the client. It's in their interest to have the right tools to fix the problem. There you go, problem solved, my bill is in the mail! 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Sure, I'll tell them I'm using a tool that they didn't ask for, but they now have to pay for.
A tool that their previous programmer never charged them for.
We all know this is how to keep clients happy and make sure they'll choose you for their next project 
I'm already a lot more expensive than their previous programmer because he was a retired friend who did it for fun.
If only politics didn't exist and every customer was happy to pay whatever you charged them
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