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The Dukes of Hazzard
(This is sherrif Rosco Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Coltrane....)
In Word you can only store 2 bytes. That is why I use Writer.
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V. wrote: Nobody gets to meet the Duke
Duke who doesn't even exist 
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Sir Duke (Ellington)
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
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Escape From the Lounge
What we got here is a failure to communicate
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Back from two weeks off and found the table clean of ANY notes...It is a promising start (or I've been fired, but can't know as the boss didn't came in) 
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I am working at Heartland Automotive in Lafayette, Indiana (I started last week), and today we were offline for most of the day due to a power failure caused by construction on a new addition over the weekend. That power failure apparently made the factory's mainframes abruptly power off, and one of them, which controls the four door lines and a few other things, was damaged in the process.
About six hours after the shift began Maintenance was able to get one of the other mainframes running the processes the offline mainframe was supposed to run, getting the factory back online.
Most of the day the Associates were just standing around, doing nothing, as they couldn't do anything as the lines wouldn't work. I at least kept busy by getting the insulation pieces off of the big sheets they come on and sorting them. That is, until I ran out of sheets of insulation. Then I worked on some cleaning around the plant until some more insulation came in.
Fun.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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It could have been worst. 
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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(This will probably result in a ban, but whatever)
So bizarre, so obtuse you just can't see the answer?
I got blindsided and walked into a legacy project I swear was written by Martians.
We have such gems as magic numbers: return code 97. WTF?
Or let's change the code based on the return value of a frick'n button that you just changed the text on: Ok becomes Done, for no reason in the thinking universe
I've been banging my head against the wall for the last 6 months over a damn print routine, which is called all over the place, but is rewritten 3 different ways.
And don't get me started on the database side of things. It's possible, and happens on a daily basis, to enter a completely illogical combination of products, suppliers and customers and insert that into the db in such a way as to f*** everything over for the next thousand years.
You'd have to be a floating database guru clad in a white toga and ghandi level of sereneness to fix this [redacted] fustercluck.
Edits:
[Bertschi]Redacted swearing [/Bertschi]
modified 6-Oct-15 4:40am.
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BruceN wrote: written by Martians
Now now, you know the Martians will take offense, better to say "Elbonians".
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oops. A thousand apologies
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I think "morons" would be even more accurated 
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Apart from the "F" word - which is unnecessary in the lounge, we have "Elephant" for Aussie use here - I can't see why that should result in a ban. You're frustrated, annoyed and generally Elephanted Off.
We all need to vent our spleen from time to time.
Now, breathe in.....and release.
Breathe in.....and release.
Breathe in.....and release.
And now go find the MuthaElephanting Sunshine and kick him in the gentleman's vegetables. If he gets all official about it blame "mud weasels". And take a five to make you feel as much better as I can from this distance.
(But I'd edit out the words that might upset the delicate...)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Ok sorry. Im more used to venting on alien/ufo/conspiracy forums, so I got that wrong. I do apologise. Offense was not my intent. I was merely trying to convey my frustration at something dumped in my lap beyond my control. I'll just hold back in future.
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Rant away!
I'm a lot harder to offend than that - but we do have some sensitive souls whose minds appear not to be able to cope with such and who will "abuse" vote as a result.
I'm not surprised you are frustrated: hence my comment that we all need to vent our spleen. 
As it happens you appeared to be handling it well - my initial response a few years ago would involve buying baseball bats and making a couple of phone calls
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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Why would you abuse "Vote?" What did Vote ever do to anyone!? They seem like a nice person anyway, a little quite sometimes.
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On the contrary, don't hold back, we lesser people might learn something. May it only be a new expletive, it still counts for something.
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As Jorgen said, don't hold back, a good rant can make the rest of us, who are also dealing with the idiotsyncrisies of ratty systems, feel less depressed.
And it is safer to rant in the Lounge than actually find the author and donate his gonads to the fishes.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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Damn Griff, Its good that we have you here. With your posts you can make a persons's day wayyy better
Thank you.
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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Seems like a pretty normal rant to me. Probably > 100% of the lounge has been there.
No reason to ban...
My long term goal is to live forever. So far, so good...
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Thank you so much - I thought it was just me. It's a bit hard down here at the bottom of the world - We here in NZ are so isolated it's hard to know what to do
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Quote: NZ are so isolated
You need to change your viewpoint old boy!
In Britain, you've heard of it I'm sure, we take a more central view of the world such as with the famous newspaper headline of a few years ago, "Fog on [The English] Channel; Continent cut off!".
You shouldn't think of yourself as isolated but as the rest of the world being sadly too far away to benefit from your wonderful country! It's the rest of the world's problem, not yours.
PS. I, as many here on CP will also state, have had to deal with the situation your describe more than once. Frustration and bad language are a good way to blow off steam! Personally I used to play first person shooter video games and laugh maniacally as the pixels flew! It was vary relaxing.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Woo. I like your viewpoint. Yeah, we're cool, got hobbits and gay wizards and dragons.
I never heard of the fog on thing, but do wonder if you need to cut the channel tunnel off for a bit. I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.
I used to play Doom, Heretic and Hexen. Actually, revealing my true age, Wolfenstein and anything I could get to work under MAME.
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If you want to talk about revealing ages, I used to play the original Colossal Cave Adventure and Star Trek games on a mainframe using a green screen terminal!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Ah, yes, the infamous P34 green phosphor. Be glad it wasn't one with orange phosphor. After a few hours, what was supposed to be white would take on a purple hue.
The difficult may take time, the impossible a little longer.
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We had a Star Trek game. It was run on PAPER Terminals.
I have to admit that I did not have the patience required.
I would rather rewrite the system startup routines in Macro-11 Assembler.
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