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I'll start by peppering the interwebs with bad puns!
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Sage advice!
Thyme to go...
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Sounds like a plan, but it's pretty chili here, I'll have to curry to the car or I might freeze my anise off.
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I thought they towed your caraway?
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Almost, a coworker called me when they saw the tow truck cumin.
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Ah, it wasn't mint to happen then.
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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The stress caused me to break out in chives.
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We have new neighbors.
I don't know anything about them.
I do see that they're clearing the snow off their sidewalks with a full sized pickup truck and blade. The truck isn't a 4x4 and the blade is at least two feet wider than the sidewalk on each side - which means they're spinning out on their frozen lawn and when the truck does move the blade is tearing up grass and tree roots on either side of the side walk.
While they're undoubtedly going to destroy any lingering equity I have in my home at least it will be entertaining.
I wonder when their hound dogs arrive?
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Be more worried about the port-a-john.
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Thankfully, the truck didn't get anywhere near the port-a-john.
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Nah - anyone with hound dogs would have use dynamite for snow clearance!
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Perhaps the meth lab they've got over there will take care of the problem one day.
I've already installed shatter proof glass on my windows facing their property.
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That'd be one of the hound dawgs, wouldn't it? Types of Lab[^]
Never underestimate the power of stupid things in large numbers
--- Serious Sam
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Have you offered to clear the sidewalks by hand?
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No, I thought the two guys holding shovels out there would do it.
However, they were content to watch the truck tear up the lawn.
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Must be government workers.
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Wait 'til the house warmin' party, they'll back a Budweiser truck up to the garage and fun will be had by all with everyone whoopin' an' a hollerin' fer days. An' mebbe y'all might get invited too. If 'yer lucky they'll perform some redneck tricks fer y'all t' boot. Stuff like throwin hot water in to the air an such. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Budweiser is kind of pricey - I'd settle for PBR though.
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The truck was filled with Busch and Busch Lite. 
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Where do you live? Ahole, Alabama?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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We're next door in Arrse, Alabama.
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What happens if you get stuck between them? Are you deep in the sh*t?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
Those who seek perfection will only find imperfection
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
me, in pictures
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Me thinks you are the guy that lodges complaints with the city when I take my recycles to the curb before 8pm.
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I don't care when you take your recyclables out to the curb.
All I'm saying is "Put on some freakin' pants!".
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I think those were "freakin'" pants. 
BTW, I think Brummer pants (NSFW) would fit that description, but I don't think you want to see those either.
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