|
What! You expect me to read the whole article? It's longer than a hundred words, that's way outside my attention span.
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
|
|
|
|
|
People with imagination don't need to read.
Just don't, for God's sake, ask OG what he was imagining -- I've just eaten.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
A better idea would be to take some food into there with you.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Dalek Dave wrote: teaching Americans how to use cutlery properly
Here's the proper cutlery for what you're serving there, mate: [^]
Software Zen: delete this;
modified 16-Sep-13 13:12pm.
|
|
|
|
|
Quote: We could even go for the big one, teaching Americans how to use cutlery properly!
I thought that's what Downton Abbey was for! (damned if I can think of another reason for it)
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
That's delightful, Dave; I bet the family members on shore really enjoy those videos.
thanks, Bill
Google CEO, Erich Schmidt: "I keep asking for a product called Serendipity. This product would have access to everything ever written or recorded, know everything the user ever worked on and saved to his or her personal hard drive, and know a whole lot about the user's tastes, friends and predilections." 2004, USA Today interview
|
|
|
|
|
in expensive home[^]
Unbelievable I know, but nasty things happen to people with good job who live in nice homes in nice areas. Or is the job and house value actually completely irrelevant?
In other unexpected news, if you leave you door open, things can wander in. If you also smear tasty stuff on your sleeping children they might get a good licking too.
"Ms Williams chased the fox around the house for 90 minutes" - I'd have given up after at most 5, noway could I run around my house for a hour and a half, but then I've got a much smaller house.
Eventually she locked it in a spare wing room, "It had messed all over the room. It was revolting." - what a disgusting creature, shitting in the room it had been locked in. Why it behaved like some sort of wild animal.
It was obviously a hell of a chase, no wonder she paused for breath now and then, and to take lots of pictures of it.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
|
|
|
|
|
Right. You see a fox with its teeth precariously close to your young daughter's throat, so what do you do?
Jump up and down and frighten it.
Good move.
Some people seem to have trouble telling the difference between a young daughter and a mother-in-law.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
I know the difference between my morther-in-law and a wolf. It's the honesty and predictability of the wolf.
speramus in juniperus
|
|
|
|
|
Oh, my mother-in-law's predictable enough.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
We have a lot of foxes around here. They are lovely except when they sh*t all over the garden or eat the crap out of the food bin. Normally the former follows the later.
speramus in juniperus
|
|
|
|
|
Quite a few where I live too. One ran across the path in front of us when I was walking the dog the other evening.
Talking of exotic animal sh*t, there is a baby skunk on the loose in the village I live in. We have been asked to keep an eye, and a nose, out for it's sh*t which is highly pungent and distinctive.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
|
|
|
|
|
I just went outside to get some apples, and you'll never guess what I found on the path across the lawn? A lovely fox's Richard.
speramus in juniperus
|
|
|
|
|
Well, send it to Chris; he's looking for some.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Quite a few foxes around here too, but the main problem here a wild boars crossing streets at night time.. And there was also a bear walking around, but it was shut down...
I once did touch a fox on the motorway.. Result: fox dead, car made a 360° turn and had no damage (good there was no traffic..)
The signature is in building process.. Please wait...
|
|
|
|
|
vonb wrote: the main problem here a wild boars crossing streets at night time
That's no problem. Just see Getafix for a potion, then go out and get tomorrow's lunch.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Mark_Wallace wrote: Getafix
Had to Google that one: I have all of the Asterix albums, in French so (the original), and there he is called "Panoramix"
The signature is in building process.. Please wait...
|
|
|
|
|
I've read 'em in English, Italian, and Dutch, and they're just as funny in each language, although many of the jokes are different -- brilliant translation work.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
I used to love 'em in English, and tried reading one in the original French with the help of a French - English dictionary. Gave up on the first page after several hours of desperate head scratching. And then found out the the kid on the first page had a lisp... 
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
|
|
|
|
|
I blame the immigants![^]
=========================================================
I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
=========================================================
|
|
|
|
|
Be glad you don't have a dog: they just looooove rolling over in foxx dooings, and then you have to jet wash the dog to get rid of the smell...
We have 'em round here, and they're mostly pretty good. There is enough prey for 'em that they don't raid the bins.
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
|
|
|
|
|
I had dogs as a lad and we knew, we knew very well, when they'd found a foxy gift. 
speramus in juniperus
|
|
|
|
|
My parents have a Fox Terrier, and a regular night time visitor who seems to delight in tormenting aforementioned Fox Terrier.
Every now and again though he gets his chance, but old Reynard is too quick for him.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
|
|
|
|
|
You would have thought they could afford to hire one of the under-class to clean up the place, it looks a sh*t-hole, shame it must be the recession.
|
|
|
|
General 
News 
Suggestion 
Question 
Bug 
Answer 
Joke 
Praise 
Rant 
Admin 
Submit an article or tip
