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We presume you did your bit to eradicate the last trace of virginity on Ibiza? Given the island's reputation to work on there can't have been much left anyway. 
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Sorry, I can only give you one! 
speramus in juniperus
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You can give me two if you include the comment in the Torygraph.
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You got another one up!
speramus in juniperus
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And an up-vote from me. If everybody could vote fast enough, he'd get to a million faster than OG can count sheepses.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Count yes, f* no.
speramus in juniperus
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Post your entries below - here's mine.
Man makes model of a submarine out of a Courgette.[^]
Well to be more precise man sticks a flag in a courgette and then thinks the local news and a museum will be interested.
He is quoted as saying "‘HMS Courgette is a vegetable class submarine. Her patrol success as detailed on the Jolly Roger flag shows three attack carrots, 11 merchant peas and one anti-submarine tomato.’"
There is no news on whether his wife has left him yet, but rest assured I have remembered his face and will give him a slap if I see him out 'n about.
(Blame Elston for NNOTD return)
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Why, oh why did I ever leave Portsmouth?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Ummm how long have you got?
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The rest of his sailor free life. 
speramus in juniperus
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That's a bit of a personal question, isn't it?
I've never had any complaints*.
* Actually, that's not true. Many's the girl who's phoned me the day after, complaining that she can't sit down -- unlike those encountered by Nagy, who phone him to confess that they're men.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
modified 11-Sep-13 8:35am.
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No, no, no!
All the girls say I make them feel like the God of Thunder, after a night with me they're Thor!
speramus in juniperus
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I've modified my footnote accordingly.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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That is not quite right, she had a lisp.
[explaining jokes always makes them better]
speramus in juniperus
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There's a girl in the CP lisp forum?!?
Unbelievable!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Atcherley, after having a blimp on google satellite view, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever did leave Pompey.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Because you had a innate fear of sailors playing hide the sausage with your rear?
speramus in juniperus
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Some phobias stay with you for life.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Most of my family are from there, I just tell people they're from the island.
Manys a Saturday we poor kids would be rudely awoken from our slumber in the peaceful west country to be dragged by our parents to Pompey. A terrifying experience to be sure, the demarcation line of the M27 / M275 junction letting us know our fate was sealed for the day. And at the end of the M275? A drive into the nether regions of Fratton past the warm glow of it's welcoming bastion a.k.a the rudy prison.
Now I'm an ex-pat. Hmmm ...
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What's a courgette in the real world?
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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I know the Americans call it a Zucchini, didn't realise the rest of the world did too.
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Michael Martin wrote: What's a courgette in the real world?
A courgette! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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I dunno.
Looks like a micro-marrow to me.
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Inedible.
You'd have to have been born in the weird world called France to think otherwise.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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