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My boss just wont listen...
How can I convince him that our users are reporting FAKE BUGS?
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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You just have to propose fake solutions 
Or... set the users that report fake bugs to null.
"I'm neither for nor against, on the contrary." John Middle
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Kick him in the nuts.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Gotcha!
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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Tell him the customers are experiencing REAL FEATURES.
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If he believes in Trump tell him that Trump said the Bugs are Fake News.
If he doesn't believe in Trump tell him that Trump said the Bugs show the truth.
Rules for the FOSW ![ ^]
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If you are not already using one get a good bug(issue) tracker.
When everything is closed as 'could not reproduce', 'misunderstood feature' or 'feature request, not bug' then your manager should get the message.
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Had one of those (a manager) here - who didn't want the upgrade to be implemented because it would audit his activity (i.e., suspected vendor payoffs). He whined in sympathetic upper-management ears and they swallowed (hassle developers) until he finally got caught in a lie (so they finally spat).
It still took a while, but aforesaid employee was terminated.
Otherwise, we simply enjoy certain groups of users (really, their managers) stonewalling on final testing/acceptance. As I mentioned somewhere, before, they'll accept changes on their Home PC's/laptops/notepads/phones - and pay dearly for it - but when you actually make changes to make things better for them they balk.*
* I believe I still have to justifiable homicides left this quarter.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Logs?
I'm not sure where you're going with this...
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Welcome to the Lounge. Please note for future reference that it may occasionally happen that people post jokes here.
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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It's so hard to tell these days. 
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megaadam wrote: How can I convince him that our users are reporting FAKE BUGS?
Reality is that is a management problem - not a technical one.
So there are two possibilities.
1. A customer is trying to play the system by attempting the invoke the acceptance criteria of the contract.
2. Most people are not malicious but some are. So some individuals will just do this for entertainment.
Solutions
1. For a customer that is attempting to play the system, then presumably the contract as a mediation clause and/or a termination clause. You (company) track the complaints and when they fall outside the bounds of acceptable boundaries invoke the contract. If the contract doesn't have either clause then of course the contract has a problem, a significant problem, and you should get a real lawyer to craft a real contract.
2. For individuals that are just screwing around then you track their posts and ban them after giving them some warnings. Obviously this requires that each user has their own login.
Both of the above should be something that a reasonable manager is should be aware of. And willing to take appropriate action when it is recognized.
Finally of course one must note that "fake" can mean many things. What it doesn't mean is "unable to replicate". So if you are judging that they are wrong, and there are multiple users especially with similar problems, are "fake" because you can't replicate it then the problem is with your determination of what the actual problem is. A reasonable manager, one with full cycle development experience, is going to be quite familiar with an inability to replicate. Bugs are still bugs if they cannot be replicated.
If the problem is replication then there are numerous mitigation strategies for that.
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I recommend liberal use of the Wally Reflector.
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Don't argue - it's job security for you. Just make FAKE FIXES for them all.
I'm retired. There's a nap for that...
- Harvey
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Um, they don't do this. Be sure you have a good test account that acts exactly like a user account do your testing with that.
In nearly 30 years of programming, at 5 different firms, Web, Mainframe, SharePoint, .net, Jquery. I have yet to ever see any users report fake bugs. It usually is a case of me or my team not accurately testing the reports.
They aren't going to waste their own time reporting fake bugs.
To err is human to really mess up you need a computer
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Capture the details, and either show him that it is NOT reproducible or "never" happens twice.
Don't try to make the customers look like they are lying.
Customers often look foolish on their own.
I had a lady do this on newly released software like 17 years ago. Complaining the software had so many bugs it was unusable, and was going to take down the business. But I noticed she did not report bugs on Monday or tuesday. She waited until the busiest day (wednesday) when everything was critical, and then ALWAYS had a problem. And it never added up to me. She ZAPPED all the data and did it by hand, stayed late, got paid overtime, and complained loudly.
It was rough. In the end, I suggested to the owner that her behavior felt like sabotage. That some of her own "it has to work this way" statements were a source of 1-2 of the real issues she did find.
(and because it was new, I gave her the benefit of the doubt for too long).
So, I asked the owner to do the work, and give her a week off. That he should know if the software was working. He found 1 TINY issue, found the software worked great, and was easy to use. He gave her another week off, and we tweaked the system some more.
Then he fired this lady when she finally admitted to sabotaging the whole thing. With the software he had, he was able to triple his business without hiring a new employee, and he has been a client ever since. In fact, I just did some work for him this week! We still laugh about this, because he trusted her so much, he was ready to fire me!
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Gone, but remaining; it's powered down, but not fresh; it's missing altogether! (4, 3)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You should have gone off yesterday. You could have avoided doing today.
This space for rent
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Yeah - I forgot I posted one this week already...
But if you are hinting you have it, you will have to spell it out! 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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I'm not that daft. 
This space for rent
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Left off ?
Gone = left and left over
not fresh = off
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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You are up on Monday!
The answer is right, the solution is "close enough":
Gone, LEFT
but remaining; LEFT
it's powered down, OFF
but not fresh; OFF
it's missing altogether! (4, 3)
LEFT OFF (as in "left off the list").
Loads of clues for you all!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Oops! Sorry - forgot to upvote your correct answer... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Hey @OriginalGriff
Months ago I was chatting tp you on here about a replacement Tab for the Nexus 7's we have in the house. Can't remember which Lenovo one it was, but it was a bit piss weak. So I ended up getting a Lenovo Tab3 10 Business for the Missus and a Lenovo Yoga Tab 3 for me. Have stuck a 64GB and 128GB Micro SD card respectively in each.
I now have a bunch of eBooks from a free Microsoft give away, a Humble Book Bundle Cybersecurity Wiley purchase and now some Linux Magazines. These are in epub, mobi and pdf formats.
So I am looking at getting ES File Explorer Pro (currently $0.20) to get stuff on to the Tab from the network and am looking at you to recommend the software I should install to be able to read the different book formats I have.
Any other toys/utilities you want to recommend? Rugby League World Cup (reckon 80% of the players for all teams are actually Aussie) starts tonight so will be watching, drinking and playing with the Play Store and Android.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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ES File explorer ... I used to love that. But it went all "crapware" and shart all over the machine with total garbage, so I don't use it. I was planning on upgrading to the paid version, but that annoyed me so much I replaced it with File Manager HD instead. It's not quite as friendly, but it does the job.
I use FB reader - it reads PDF, epub, mobi, pretty much anything I've thrown at it.
Other than that it's games, "Our Groceries" (shopping list app - works via a server so your list is shared between all devices, including the PC and Herself's tablet), WPF Office, and HERE WeGo for nav.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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