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So I have this spoiled little brat energetic neighbor kid.
In the past week he threw or kicked some of his footballs over the fence into my garden.
My neighbor said I shouldn't give them back if he didn't ask for them because that would teach him not to throw his stuff into my garden.
So the kid already came to my door last week, but I wasn't at home, which pissed him off, according to my neighbor.
Today, he knocked on my door again and I opened, but the kid is only 5 years old and very shy, so he just stood there.
His mom, keeping an eye on him from her own front door, said "what do we say to the neighbor?"
And he just said "...my balls..."
I lost my sh*t and just laughed at him "Hahaha your balls huh? Muwhahaha!  "
Luckily, his mom could laugh about it too, so I didn't come across as a complete a**hole making fun of little kids.
I told him I'd throw his balls back over the fence and his mother told him to thank me, which he sort of did under his breath.
He now has his balls back and I doubt he'll be throwing them in my garden again
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Or you could have invited him over to spend time in your garden, planting, repairing, etc so as to appreciate that which others toil over. If he had a vested interest in your garden, he would be less likely to toss toys over the fence.
"One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson
"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." - James D. Miles
modified 6-Jun-21 22:06pm.
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Or you could just remember that he is a 5 year old kid and just toss the damned balls back over the yard.
If you can't laugh at yourself - ask me and I will do it for you.
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Exactly. 
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I don't like kids and I don't like gardening, so that's probably the worst idea I've ever heard
My garden is only some grass though, and I'm not letting a 5-year old use an electric mower 
He could clear out the weeds in my front lawn, which are currently about half a meter high and probably already the talk of the neighborhood 
My next house will be one without a garden.
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Nah, I'll wait with the hard drugs until he's at least a few years older though 
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You gotta be careful doing that kind of thing these days: somebody is going to ... umm ... assume the worst about your reasons ...
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Exactly.
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Or sue him for hurting the kid's feelings.
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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No, no - you don't "hurt their feelings" you "cause him long-term psychological trauma" resulting in a need for "ongoing costs for the foreseeable future", and "massive payouts for the shysters ambulance chasers lawyers" involved.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: assume the worst about your reasons
Well, it's BBQ weather again...
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You can't BBQ a 5 year old! 
It'll be burnt on the outside, and still raw in the middle.
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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You had me in the first half, not gonna lie
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Can't you just throw your beer cans into his?
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You mean Everclear bottles, don't you? Sander is a one-man flame-throwing monster!
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Wait, what?
I drink mostly alcohol free
Anyway, my neighbor would be most grateful for such bottles 
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...traumatized him ... ???
Ah, you must have omitted the braces around your one-liners!
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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I'm not that cruel! 
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It sounds to me that you have him by the balls.
If pigs could fly, just imagine how good their wings would taste!
- Harvey
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If you child proof your house, how do the kids still keep getting in?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
"Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Mine kept sneaking in through the pet door.
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