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Great! You're qualified for a post as a Junior Developer! 
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Forsooth! Glad you're sharing the paintm!
#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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At least Java is related to programming... I got a truck driver position in central Germany... 
"The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary." Vidal Sassoon, 1928 - 2012
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/ravi
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Were commuting expenses part of the package?
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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I once got offered a job as a property developer (construction) because my job title states that I'm a Software Developer. Worst of all was that the recruiter could not understand why I couldn't give her a list of the shopping malls I've built in my career (which was 2 years experience at the time).
My plan is to live forever ... so far so good
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That reminds me... In the 1990, I was a Comp.Sci. college lecturer. There had been a sudden drop in the demand for software people, so our students didn't always find a job after graduation. One of them was hired by a publishing house for typing into the computer the complete works of the Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen. He got the job because he, as a programmer, knew how to use a keybard.
Then comes the crazy part of the story - unrelated to LinkedIn and recruiting, but it deserves to be told:
I was suprised that the job was offered at all. This company had published a new Ibsen Complete only a few years back, which certainly must have been typeset by computer, right? Yes, right. That printing was sold out, and they were going to make a new one. Then they have the typesetting files in their computers, don't they? Well ... This publishing house went directly from lead type to computer typesetting, replacing the technology, but retaining the work procedures with as little change as possible. In the age of lead type, once a printing had been made, the lead was recycled for the next book to be printed. The last (now sold out) Ibsen printing had certainly been made by a computer typesetting system, with the text stored on floppy discs. Once the printing was done, the floppy disks had been recycled, used for their next book. The publishing house guys thought of that as the normal thing to do; in the lead age, you always had to do the typesetting again to make a new printing of an old book.
My former student was happy with getting some income while searching for a permanent job, but shook his head as much as I did.
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That is a fail of epic proportions.
Maybe even worse than the lady who stuck the floppy disk backup to the office fridge with an industrial strength magnet.
My plan is to live forever ... so far so good
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Quote: Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen....as a programmer, knew how to use a keybard
A brilliant typo!
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The best on I have is 'Shot Delivery Agent, Roller Skate expertise need', Admittedly not through linked in but... I happen to have a means of motor control on CV, I think that got some wires crossed somewhere.
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must of had a requirement that get along with coffee drinkers. 
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The best one I've gotten was a position that wanted 10 years of ASP.NET MVC experience. This was in 2016 if I remember correctly. ASP.NET MVC released in 2009.
I've also gotten a lot of offers for HR positions. I neither have a degree in an HR-related field nor have worked in HR before
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"I neither have a degree in an HR-related field nor have worked in HR before"
You're over-qualified then
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Odd... the only pings I've receive (twice a year, almost like clockwork) are from Google (they're expanding in Toronto) and FB (AFAIK, they're not based in Toronto). I also don't have my profile flagged as open to new opportunities.
/ravi
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Ravi Bhavnani wrote: I also don't have my profile flagged as open to new opportunities
They don't care about that. I always have my profile set to not looking for a new role (or what ever they call it) as I prefer to call a recruiter if I want a new job. But they still have been sending me, we have a role that suits your profile.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Interesting. The pings I receive from Google are from a real human (the same person I've been contacted by for a few years). FB seems to have a higher turnover of recruiters, because the person changes every 18 months or so. In both cases, the contacts have been unsolicited, although the Google ping is a result of a referral by a friend. But I don't know anyone at FB.
/ravi
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I once saw a position advertised where they wanted (this is many years ago so I'm not sure I remember the exact wording) ... must have attended Microsoft Foundation Classes ...
Bunch of idiots!
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I've still got the reference books around here somewhere, if you like to study up a bit.
It's multiple large volumes, and there's another book that details lower level functions that all start with "z" which I never figured out what to do with. I have no idea where I put this treasure, but I don't recall tossing any of it where it belongs...
Will Rogers never met me.
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They made their intentions perfectly clear: They're looking for a senior developer who is willing (stupid enough) to work for a junior's pay. Makes sense! 
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Do they ever become Senior?
And what's the definition of senior in that case?
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"Senior" as in "senile"? 
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.
-- 6079 Smith W.
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From my student days (long ago) there were two that became classics:
On job ad requiring familiarity with Cobolt.
Another one where experience with system stimulation was required.
This was in the early 1980s.
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I have one for you, not necessarily LinkedIn but sh*tty recruiter related, none the less.
This recruiter that was unable to place me about 5 years ago, sends me emails every so often, asking me if I know of any developers looking for work, but never actually asks me if I would be interested in the position; only if I know someone else that would be.
It's much easier to enjoy the favor of both friend and foe, and not give a damn who's who. -- Lon Milo DuQuette
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If a recruiter has given up one you, then...
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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