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In a boring job interview:
Useless HR drone: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Laconic answer: "Not here."
Silly answer: "Back home on Beta Reticuli. They will probably not want me as a Stormtrooper anymore, but I always can earn a little programming Eludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulators."
Delusional answer: "Where do I find the office of your boss?"
Everything is better than seriously answering such questions. Any better ideas?
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
modified 3-Dec-19 10:25am.
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"In the mirror."
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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In mirror universes you are not going to be happy unless you grow a beard and are at least lawful evil.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Like my pic. 
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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"Not doing your job; your job is safe"
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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in your office because HR will be the next thing replaced by AI
... btw: also because HR requires the least amount of actual skills it's the easiest to automate
Edit: BTW: HR has no place in the interview process, companies that use HR for this never get the best people, rather they will only ever get the best bullshit artists.
this internet has become nothing but fake news.
... time to fix it, time to get back to the fax!
modified 3-Dec-19 10:12am.
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lopatir wrote: rather they will only ever get the best bullshit artists.
Sounds like the perfect process when hiring for a sales position then 
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"You're asking me to predict the future. If I could predict the future I wouldn't need your stupid job now, would I?!"
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"Programming - because I'm pretty good at it, I like doing it, and have absolutely no desire to be a leader or manager. I'll help the new guys, and learn from the more experienced guys, buy you really don't want me in a position of authority, because I'm a programmer, not a politician."
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Same way I see myself today, in a mirror, next question.
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CodeWraith wrote: Useless HR drone: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Early Family Guy has the answer to this one.
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In a place very similar to this one, answering dumb questions.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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So parsing a C# subset has lead me to all kinds of interesting questions
[System.AttributeUsage(System.AttributeTargets.All,true)]
class TestAttribute<T> : System.Attribute
{
}
does that work? (it doesn't)
why do I even ask?
because if it worked I'd have to look for
[Test<string>()] class Foo {}
and the like.
Don't get me started on the weirdities of array declarations.
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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C#
Weirdness = job security!
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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This can be valid c#
public class var
{
async async async(async async) => await async;
}
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yick. Fortunately, I don't have to support any of those keywords, but i need to check to see if my stuff will parse that.
Edit: The compiler chokes on the async specifiers
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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because async / await etc are new(ish) keywords there might be code out there which has types named "async", "await" so the C# compiler does context tests for new keywords - in the example I gave some are keywords, some are types (which I omitted)
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Yeah but in this case, the compiler I'm using (c#7? VS2017) bombs on that statement you gave me.
I know about contextual keywords as I've parsed C# quite a bit, and LINQ and other language additions have forced it. I've watched the keyword list in C# grow over time, and some old keywords like __stackalloc finally given life in the latest incarnations of the language
But async will break in the context you used it. I'm not sure about C# compilers before it was a keyword
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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You need to create types with those keywords and not use var anywhere
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Like in Fortran IV where you can have an integer named REAL and a REAL named COMPLEX. No reserved words.
Or you could name your function SOLVE REAL PROBLEM. Spaces are ignored.
I don't know if these are still valid in modern variants of Fortran; I haven't written a single line of Fortran for 30 years.
(C.A.R Hoare, in the Fortran-77 discussions, stated "I don't know what programming languages will look like in year 2000, but they will be named 'Fortran'" - when I saw a few Fortran 2003, my immediate reaction was: He hit the nail on the head!)
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PL/1 didn't (and probably still doesn't) have any reserved words either
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Won't matter to me as it will never be supported by the CodeDOM =)
When I was growin' up, I was the smartest kid I knew. Maybe that was just because I didn't know that many kids. All I know is now I feel the opposite.
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They don't buzz, but they are definitely insects! (7)
HUMBUGS[^]
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Urgh.... so obvious once you know the answer.
I gathered it would be some sort of confectionery, but the sweet shop was just too large!
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