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Thanks to all your great advice (really appreciated) I was able to find out what is wrong with my laptop... By calling Dell tech support 
First of all, great support, best I've ever had, perfect 5 out of 7!
So the problem seems to be that my computer has an SSD and an HDD and I was thinking it only had an SSD and my computer was thinking it only had an HDD.
At startup the laptop did a hardware check, which apparently takes a long time, but which can be turned off in the BIOS.
Anyway, the SSD could not be found, which is obviously a problem.
The slow startup time is mostly just due to Windows being installed in the HDD instead of the SSD I was expecting.
Long story short, I'm still within warranty and an engineer will come to install a new SSD and, if that doesn't fix it, a new motherboard.
Case closed (I hope) 
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Three warf hoorah for Dell 
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Did you try enabling or disabling legacy boot mode?
If not enabled, it can cause problems with efi drives; and if enabled, it it can cause problems with non-efi drives.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Yeah, I did.
Didn't work.
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Did you try taking out and cleaning the SDD contacts?
My Dell lost its SDD once, this fixed it.
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Yep, didn't fix it 
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Not directly releated to this specific problem, but I'll add it as a sidetrack anyway:
In the old days of DOS floppy disks, the same physical size disks (5.25" or 3.5") came in different packing densities: 360K, 720K, 1.44M. When you replaced the disk with another one, DOS would read the format code off the disk, and the driver would operate according to the physical formatting.
I had a machine that for a period failed to change to the correct format. When switching from, say, a 360K floppy to a 1.44M one, I got read errors unless I rebooted the PC.
I didn't open the PC case very often, so it took a while before I saw the problem: The 34-pin connector to the floppy was not pushed properly in, but was slightly slanted, so that the last pin in the row didn't make contact. The last pin was the one that the floppy drive used to signal that the physical floppy had been replaced, and the driver should adopt to the format of the new disk. DOS never got this signal, and wasn't aware that there was a new floppy in place, but continued to read as if it was the same old one. (There was no buffering/caching in those days, so there was no risk of flushing buffers to the wrong disk.)
Pushing the 34-pin connector firmly onto the pins, so that even the last pin made contact, solved the problem.
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A year later it then refused to boot, just black screen, unless the battery was unplugged and plugged back in. At every boot.
Then I had a go cleaning off the RAM after taking it out, this seemed to fix the boot issue on a more or less permanent basis, unless the desk gets a jolt.
I dont think Dells are as good as they were.
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Those are some weird symptoms too... 
Anyway, I took the lid off, blew some dust off and pushed some things in place, but it didn't work.
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Sander Rossel wrote: perfect 5 out of 7
I am now really wondering how many people here understand this reference.
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Playing that music bollixed the BIOS 
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
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I think you bollixed something.
Your message got me six notifications in mail and here at the top right
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Sander Rossel wrote: our message got me six notifications in mail and here at the top right
"strange days, indeed !" [^]
did the six include the no-extra-charge egg-rolls and moo goo gai pan ?
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
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Haha
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." Frank Zappa 1980
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Sander Rossel wrote: Case closed (I hope)
No, I'm sure the engineer will have to open the case to install the SSD inside the laptop.
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Thanks, just what I've been waiting for
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tensor
/ˈtɛnsə,ˈtɛnsɔː/
noun
1.
MATHEMATICS
a mathematical object analogous to but more general than a vector, represented by an array of components that are functions of the coordinates of a space.
2.
ANATOMY
a muscle that tightens or stretches a part of the body.
"the tensor tympani muscle of the middle ear"
Well, I kind of get the anatomical version, otherwise: "Whoosh!"
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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What about this content do you find interesting; what is relevant to the Lounge ?
«Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?» T. S. Elliot
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...She's at the gate.....and she's off... 
Ba-tish! It's Monday, and there's nothing we can do about it!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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This one at least gallops away from you, but the price for that probably is that she has a face like a horse.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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"-Hey Honey, we just won $1,000,000 at the lottery, pack your things up"
"-This awesome, where are we going ?"
"-You're leaving the house"
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Unfortunately, she's taking $500,000 and the house and the kids.
If you're doing it for the money you better let her stick around 
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Is it furlong?
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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Quote: I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la
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